120+ Very Random Things to Say to Spice Up a Conversation

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The funniest, weirdest, & silliest things to say to someone

Co-authored by Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: November 26, 2025 Fact Checked

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In Conversation

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To a Crush

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In a Text

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Funny

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Weird

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Being “Random” in Pop Culture

Being “random” really took off in the 2010s as its own brand of nonsensical humor. Saying something out of left field for comedic effect became a good way for teens and twenty-somethings to make each other cringe, scrunch up their faces, and laugh. If you’re trying to do to “random” what Justin Timberlake did to "sexy," keep reading for a comprehensive list of the most absurd and random things to say in conversation. Did you know that Cleopatra was born closer to the invention of the iPhone than to the construction of the pyramids? Now you do!

Extremely Random Things to Say

I winked at my fridge. It winked back. I’m concerned now.
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.
 Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Whatever is eating you must be really hungry.
I sold my vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering dust.

Section 1 of 6:

Random Things to Say In Conversation

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Pleasantly derail the conversation with these random quips. If you’re at a party among your best buds and you hear the chatter start to die down, feel free to start it back up by inserting yourself at random! Share a fun— albeit questionable— fact, bring up your judgmental cat, or mention your imaginary friend. If they don’t get it, then they don’t get you, and you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Here are some random lines for you to steal:^{[1]
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- I named my pillow Sir Fluffyface, Knight of the Sleepy Kingdom.
- My cat just judged me for eating cereal with a fork.
- Wearing socks on my hands today. I’m calling it fashion-forward gloves.
- Do ants have school, or do they just follow tiny rules?
- I wish pizza could text back and say, ‘I miss you too.’
- My imaginary friend just got a job and moved out. Rude.
- Why do sandwiches always fall face down? Is gravity delicious?
- I winked at my fridge. It winked back. I’m concerned now.
- I might turn into a potato tonight. It’s been that kind.
- I told my plant a joke. It still hasn’t laughed once.
- I was born at a very young age.
- I’m so glad we have brown cows; otherwise, there wouldn’t be any chocolate milk.
- 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I’m crazy. The tenth is just humming.
- After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
- You should always knock before opening a fridge, just in case there’s a salad dressing inside.
- A pessimist is someone who has spent too much time listening to optimists.
- Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
- My tallest finger loves giving people standing ovations.
- You’re asthma. You take my breath away.
- 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
- I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
- A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation.
- It’s funny how the cost of living is going up, but the chance of living is going down.
- Try calling someone just to tell them you can’t talk right now.
- I am a great housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
- If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.
- Don’t drink and drive. You might spill your beer.
- You’re in the wrong lane when everything is coming at you.
- If you are on a diet, the first three letters of that word are probably feeling pretty accurate right now.
- When someone tells you, “Have a nice day!”, stare at them and say, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Section 2 of 6:

Random Things to Say to a Crush

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Make your crush cringe and/or laugh by using these random lines to flirt. In order for love to blossom, two people in a relationship must be comfortable showing one another their true selves. Why not start now by showing your crush your quirky side?! Don’t be afraid to hit them with a hard-hitting philosophical question about sandwiches or a playful warning about calling the cops. If these scare them off, they don’t deserve you and your whimsy! Here are some more examples of lovable randomness at large:^{[2]
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- Hi, I am (your name), but you can call me tomorrow!
- I promise to step on your feet if you dance with me.
- Is a hot dog a sandwich?
- Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart?
- You are so annoying. You are so weird. You are so crazy. You are so stupid. You are so clingy. You are…just like me.
- If we were on a plane about to crash and only had one parachute, I promise I’d give an amazing speech at your funeral.
- I am not as think as you confused I am really!
- Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
- Here I am! What are your other two wishes?
- I’d be happy to give you a shoulder to cry on, except I don’t want my shoulder to get wet.
- As an opening rule, keep your head out of the gutter.
- Aw, I can’t believe we went to different schools together.
- You look like my next ex-wife.
- I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart with a pitstop in your spleen?
- Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you, and you’re expensive.
- Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
- I’d die without you. You must be my phone charger.
- You don’t need keys to drive me crazy.
- Didn’t I see you on the cover of Good Housekeeping?
- It’s illegal for you to look this good. Sorry. The police are on their way.

Section 3 of 6:

Random Things to Say in a Text

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Keep them on their toes over text with the following randomness. The beauty of being random is that it’s not limited to in-person conversations— you can let your random freak flag fly over text, too! The next time someone doesn’t text back, reignite the spark by tossing in some (fictional) personal history about your ex-wife, or mention your plans to get a crazy body part pierced. They’ll love it! Probably. Here are some ways to up the randomness:^{[3]
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- Is there a connection between candy corn and corn nuts?
- I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
- The next time you buy a donut, complain that there’s a hole in it.
- A cookie a day keeps your sadness away, but an entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
- I’m not going to remarry. This time, I’m just going to pick a woman I don’t like and give her a house instead.
- If hamburger meat makes a meatloaf, then laziness will make me-a-loaf.
- I had used up all of my sick leave, so I called in dead.
- I am going to get my toenail pierced this Friday.
- I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one abandoned me, but the second did not.
- I’ve always thought air was free. That is, I did until I went out and bought a $3 bag of chips.
- Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet!
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away…if you throw it hard enough!
- Organized people are those who are just too lazy to find their things.
- A psychiatrist is someone who will charge you money for answers that you can get for free from your wife or friends.
- If a market is well stocked, is it called the stock market?
- Earth is like an insane asylum for the universe.
- Sure, alcohol doesn’t solve any problems. But then again, neither does milk.
- Barbie is so popular, and yet, kids still buy friends for her.
- If you lend someone money and never see them again, it was probably worth every penny.
- Refusing to go to the gym is one of the best forms of resistance training.
- I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.
- Always remember that you’re unique…just like everyone else is.
- Running in place will get you nowhere fast.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- LOL has gone from meaning “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”
- It’s difficult to do nothing because you never know when you’re done.
- Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s exactly what you are looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Just take my advice because I’m not going to use it.
- Dogs can’t see inside your body, but a CAT scan.
- What is the soul good for if laughter is good for the soul?

Section 4 of 6:

Random Funny Things to Say

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Get friends and strangers alike to crack up at your random one-liners. There’s nothing like a totally unhinged comment that unifies everyone who hears it. Whether it’s on a train, in the rain, or drinking champagne, randomness deserves to be shared. Use the following lines as inspiration so a random group of unsuspecting people can hate to see you coming:^{[4]
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- Whatever is eating you must be really hungry.
- The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
- I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Is cardboard more board than card or more card than board?
- A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately after you die.
- I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Except for a parking meter, change is inevitable.
- I’m out of my mind. I’ll be back in five minutes.
- We place too much emphasis on the early bird’s good luck and not enough on the early worm’s bad luck.
- I sold my vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering dust.
- I don’t really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
- I tried rearranging the alphabet, but for some reason, the letters U and I would never separate.
- Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
- If you think no one cares whether you’re alive or dead, just skip a handful of credit card payments.
- Why isn’t coffee served on a coffee table?
- I would really like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?
- I have a clean conscience. I haven’t used it once.
- Whiteboards really are remarkable.
- Whoever said you can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop!
- When you go to a public bathroom, put chocolate on your hands, reach under the stall, and ask for toilet paper.
- Answers are what we have to solve other people’s problems.
- Can cars stop at a bus stop?
- If you really want to look young and thin, then you should hang out around fat old people.
- A balanced diet simply means having cupcakes in each hand.
- Try ordering a pizza 15 minutes before the New Year, and when it arrives, yell, “You’re late! I ordered this a year ago!”
- I don’t understand how people can be so open-minded. Whenever I try, my brain keeps falling out.
- The only thing I get out of Algebra is when I look at X and wonder Y.
- How can you scoot along if you don’t have a scooter?
- I’ll have a Bloody Mary because they say it helps cure hangovers.

Section 5 of 6:

Random Weird Things to Say

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Show off your true oddball self with these weird and random wisecracks. Being normal is overrated, so go ahead and lay the weird on thick! From unique life philosophies to one-of-a-kind metaphors, inserting any of the following lines into conversation is sure to score you some points. Learn them, live them, love them, repeat them:^{[5]
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- I tried to be normal once… worst two minutes of my entire life.
- I like to be an example for others. Usually a bad example, though.
- Common sense is like deodorant—the people who need it most never seem to use it.
- I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?
- If you can’t laugh at yourself, I can help you out.
- Every woman should marry an archaeologist. Because the older she gets, the more he’ll love her.
- Everyone talks about the early bird’s good luck, but what about the early worm’s bad luck?
- Pobody’s nerfect!
- People are like refrigerators: it’s what’s inside that matters.
- Take my advice—I’m not using it.
- Try this: Call your friend and let them know you can’t talk right now.
- I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
- I’m not always hungry; sometimes I’m sleepy, too.
- Patience is a virtue, but I don’t want to wait.
- I’m out of my mind… be back in five minutes!
- When everything in life is coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
- I try to have an open mind, but my brain keeps falling out.
- My parents moved around a lot when I was growing up, but I always found them.
- Love must truly be blind because it can’t see me at all.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Section 6 of 6:

Being “Random” in Pop Culture

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Being “random” gained traction in the 2000s alongside the internet. In those early days of the internet, randomness began to be praised as the perfect blend of humor and authenticity. With the surge of social media like YouTube and Facebook, the constant flow of new information made for a pretty random user experience, with no such thing as an algorithm or influencers. In the spirit of randomness, here are some random facts about randomness:^{[6]
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- “Random” appeared as slang in the 1995 cult classic, Clueless, inspiring an entire generation to spread it like wildfire.
- The publishing company Random House was founded in 1925, aiming to publish books "at random," according to founder Bennett Cerf.
- A number of popular movies and TV shows use randomness as a major plot element, like Family Guy, Adventure Time, and Everything Everywhere All At Once.
- "Random" is the title of a 2015 song by G-Eazy.