300+ of the Best Dad Jokes for Kids of All Ages

Looking for a corny, goofy joke to tell a kid you love? Well, look no further! These kid-friendly dad jokes are perfect for kids of all ages. They’re full of silly puns and ridiculous jokes—they’re bound to make just about anyone laugh! Don’t believe us? Try one or more of the funny dad jokes below.

The Best Kid-Appropriate Dad Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZZZZZa!
What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.

Section 1 of 10:

Silly Dad Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are for the goofiest of goofballs! Want to make the silliest kid in your life laugh? Well, these jokes happen to be only for the silliest of gooses. Try making kids of all ages laugh with these wacky and silly dad jokes:
- What did the nose tell the finger? Stop picking on me!
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
- Why did the snowman buy a bag of carrots? He wanted to pick his nose.
- Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.
- What do clouds wear beneath their pants? Thunderwear.
- Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
- What does a spider’s bride wear? A webbing dress!
- Why are libraries so tall? Because they have many stories.
- What did one hat say to the other? “You wait here. I’ll go on a head.”
- Why did the teddy bear turn down a slice of cake? He was stuffed.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite game? Moon-opoly.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A boo-berry!^{[1]
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- What do you call a dinosaur that eats its veggies? A broccoli-saurus.
- What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZZZZZa!
- Why did the cell phone get glasses? It lost all its contacts.
- What did the snowflake say to the road? “Let’s stick together.”
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport? Figure skating.
- Where do roses sleep at night? In their flowerbed.
- What’s rain’s favorite accessory? A rainbow.
- What did the tree say to the wind? “Leaf me alone!”
- What’s a princess’s favorite time of day? Knight time.
- What’s corn’s favorite music? Pop.
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
- What time of year do people get injured most? The fall.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between you and me, something smells.”
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
- What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train!
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.
- What do you call a dinosaur that’s sleeping? A dino-snore.
- Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket.
- What is a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.
- What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
- Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

Section 2 of 10:

Corny Dad Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are so ridiculous, you can’t help but laugh! Dad jokes are all about puns, and the more outrageous, the better. Take a look at these corny puns and jokes that any dad (and kid) will love:
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
- What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
- Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long? Because it would be a foot.
- How do you talk to a giant? You use big words.
- What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- What’s a sea monster’s favorite lunch? Fish and ships.
- How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
- Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.
- How does the rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
- Can February March? No, but April May!
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not about to spread it.
- What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- Where do books hide when they’re afraid? Under the covers.
- Why can’t you trust a balloon? It’s full of hot air.
- How do celebrities keep cool? They have lots of fans.
- Why couldn’t the bike stand up on its own? It was two-tired.
- How do you know when a bike is thinking? You can see its wheel turning.
- What does a librarian use to go fishing? A bookworm.
- What did one leaf say to the other? “I’m falling for you.”
- Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
- Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.
- What side of a tree grows the most branches? The outside!
- Why did the broom go to bed? It was very sweepy.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- Why did the coffee go to the police? To report a mugging.
- What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
- Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
- What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
- Why did the egg have the day off? It was Fry-day.
- What’s the best present? Broken drums. You can’t beat them.
- Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything.^{[2]
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Section 3 of 10:

Dad Jokes About Food

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These dad jokes feature a kid’s favorite food. Pizza, ice cream, chicken nuggets—kids love food! So, tell them a joke featuring their favorite food to make them chuckle. Here are some of our favorites:
- Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
- What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
- What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.
- What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.
- What happens when ice cream gets angry? It has a meltdown.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s pop corn?”
- What do you call sad cheese? Blue cheese.
- Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack up!
- Where do burgers like to dance? At the meat-ball.
- What kind of cereal do leprechauns eat? Lucky Charms.
- What kind of nuts always have colds? Cashews.
- Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
- Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
- What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeno business.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Which type of key won’t open a door? A tur-key!
- When potatoes have babies, what are they called? Tater tots.
- How do you make an apple turnover? You push it downhill.
- When do you go on red and stop on green? When you’re eating a watermelon.
- Why did the banana go to the hairdresser? It had split ends.^{[3]
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- Why was the cucumber mad? It was in a pickle!
- What do blueberries do with a guitar? They form a jam band.
- What did the fruit say to its friend? “You’re pretty grape.”
- What kind of dessert is always late? Choco-late.
- What do you call a sad brownie? A frownie.
- Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
- What’s a chicken’s favorite veggie? An eggplant!
- Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
- What vegetables do librarians like? Quiet peas!
- How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.
- What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game? Squash!
- What did the reporter say to the ice cream? “What’s the scoop?”
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy.

Section 4 of 10:

Dad Jokes About Animals

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These dad jokes are perfect for animal lovers. If you know a kid who loves animals or the zoo, these jokes are for them! They’re bound to laugh if their favorite creature is the subject of a pun. Don’t believe us? Share one of these jokes and find out:
- What do you call recently-married spiders? Newly-webs!
- Why are pigs bad at sports? They hog the ball.
- What kind of car do sheep like to drive? Lamborghinis.
- Where do elephants store luggage? In a trunk.
- What do you call a grumpy cow? MOOOOOO-dy!^{[4]
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- What key opens bananas? Mon-keys.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do cows like to read? Cattle-logs.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
- What do you call a sheep that knows karate? A lamb chop.
- How do you get a mouse to smile? Say “cheese.”
- What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? “That hit the spot.”
- What do you call a duck that gets all As? A wise quacker.
- What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
- What’s a frog’s favorite food? French flies.
- Where’s the one place you should never take a dog? The flea market.
- What’s a cow’s favorite galaxy? The Milky Way.
- Why do birds fly south? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? “This tastes a little funny.”
- What did the buffalo say when his son left? “Bison!”
- Why can’t you send a duck to outer space? The bill would be astronomical!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
- Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!
- How do squids get to school? They take an octopus.
- Why are cats good at video games? They have nine lives.
- Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
- Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!
- Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssside.
- Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
- What fish only swims at night? A starfish!
- Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? He thought it was a lion.
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.

Section 5 of 10:

Pop Culture Dad Jokes for Kids

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These jokes feature a kid’s favorite characters and celebrities. Want to show that you’re in the know? Share one of these jokes with a kid you love to say, “Yeah, I’m cool!” They feature games, movies, and other pop culture moments kids will recognize.
- Why did Darth Vader turn off the light? He prefers the dark side.
- How does Darth Vader like his bagels? On the dark side.
- What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A Toy-Yoda.
- Why shouldn’t Elsa have a balloon? She’d let it go.
- Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? She always runs away from the ball.
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
- Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? So he could visit Pluto.
- What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve!
- What time does Donald Duck wake up? The quack of dawn!
- How does the ocean greet Moana? It waves.
- Which Disney princess is a cow’s favorite? Moo-lan.
- Which body part loves theme parks? Dis-knee!
- What does Buzz Lightyear like to read? Comet books.
- What’s Ariel’s favorite candy? Sea salt taffy!
- Why did the seven dwarfs start a band? Because they were rock stars!
- Why does Dumbo never use a smartphone? Because he has his own ele-phone.
- How does Princess Peach reach things on a high shelf? She uses a Toad-stool.
- What happened when Mario parked his car in the wrong place? It got toad!
- What did the green mushroom say to Luigi? “Get a life!”
- How do the Mario Bros surf the web? With a web Bowser!
- How do Koopas communicate? They use a shell-phone.
- What’s Mario’s favorite musical? Mamma Mia!
- What kind of parties does Koopa Troopa throw? Shellebrations!
- Did you hear about the Minecraft movie? It’s a blockbuster.
- What is the national sport of Minecraft? Boxing.
- What’s a ghast’s favorite country? The Nether-lands.
- Why did the creeper cross the road? To get to the other ssssssside.
- What did Steve say to Alex? “I dig you.”
- How does Steve get his exercise? He runs around the block.
- Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald? He lost his Hedwig.
- Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses? Nobody nose!
- How does Taylor Swift dry her umbrella? She shakes it off.
- What do you call a pop star in an elevator? Taylor Lift.
- Why didn’t the vampire bite Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
- How do minions get downstairs? They slide down the banana-stairs.
- Why don’t minions like horror movies? They’re too gru-some!
- How does Sonic get hold of Tails? He gives him a ring!

Section 6 of 10:

Classic Dad Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are classic for a reason—they’re loved by all! Opt for a dad joke that’s been through the test of time. These kid-friendly jokes are perfect for a number of occasions. Plus, they’ve proven to be hits over the years.
- What do you call spaghetti in disguise? An impasta.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.
- What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
- How much does a chimney cost? Nothing. It’s on the house.
- What word can you make shorter by adding two letters? Short.
- What do you call a broken clock? A waste of time.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
- Why did the genie get mad? He was rubbed the wrong way.
- Why is Santa good at karate? He has a black belt.
- How do you throw a space party? You planet!
- What kind of shoes do spies wear? Sneak-ers.
- Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C!
- What gets wet while it’s drying? A towel.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
- Why are vampires always sick? They’re always coffin.
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Because they don’t have guts.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? It was a cheetah.
- What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”

Section 7 of 10:

One-Liner Dad Jokes for Kids

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These one-liners work every time. These jokes are classic but original. They can be tossed into any conversation seamlessly. Plus, they’re super quick and easy to grasp, making them perfect for kids of all ages!
- I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
- I told a bad chemistry joke once. There was no reaction.
- I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
- I’m afraid of the calendar. Its days are numbered.
- If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.^{[5]
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- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
- I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- That car looks nice, but the muffler seems exhausted.
- Shout out to my fingers! I can count on all of them.
- I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.
- A cheeseburger walks into a store, and the cashier says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
- I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
- I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
- I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
- I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
- Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
- Spring is here! I get so excited I wet my plants.
- I’m throwing a space-themed party, but I don’t want to planet.
- A man walked into a bar. Ouch.
- One bird can’t make a pun. But toucan.
- Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.
- I always wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
- I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
- I ate a clock yesterday. It was time-consuming.
- I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a w-rap.

Section 8 of 10:

Terrible Dad Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are so bad they’re funny! Want to make kids laugh uncontrollably? Try one of these terrible, no good dad jokes! They’re so corny, they’re bad.
- Do you want a box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
- How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? Nothing! It’s on the house.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- Why do dogs float in water? Because they’re good buoys.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
- Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A nectarine.
- What’s the best-smelling insect? A deodor-ant.
- What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
- Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
- What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.
- What’s a robot’s favorite snack? Computer chips.
- Why are piggy banks so wise? They’re full of common cents!
- What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
- What kind of room doesn’t have windows or a door? A mushroom.
- What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake? A milkshake.
- Why are pirates called pirates? Because they aaarrrr!
- Which monster lives on your finger? The boogey man.
- Why did the beach blush? Because the sea weed.
- Where do cows go on a Friday night? The moooovies.
- What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food!
- Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
- Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.
- How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
- What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office.
- Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
- What did the zero say to the eight? “That belt looks good on you.”
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
- How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
- Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own question? I do.

Section 9 of 10:

Yo Mama Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are totally classic—they’ve stood the test of time! While these may not be your standard dad joke, they’re still super fun and kid-friendly. Plus, they’re bound to make any kid laugh or roll their eyes! Here are some of our favorite “Yo Mamma!” jokes:
- Yo mama so old, she rode dinosaurs to school.
- Yo mama so old, her memory is in black and white.
- Yo mama so small, her best friend is an ant.
- Yo mama so old, God signed her yearbook.
- Yo mama so short, she has to hold a sign that says, “Don’t spit! I can’t swim.”
- Yo mama so cheap, she asks for discounts on free samples.
- Yo mama so ugly, she made an onion cry.
- Yo mama so ugly, the government made her birthday Halloween.
- Yo mama so short, she uses matches to build her house.
- Yo mama so dirty, she creeps out of muddy puddles.
- Yo mama so special, she is limited edition.
- Yo mama so ancient, Cleopatra worshipped her.
- Yo mama so old, dust comes out when she coughs.
- Yo mama so greasy, her freckles slide off.
- Yo mama so slow, she makes a turtle race look like the Grand Prix.
- Yo mama so dirty, she jumps into mud and mud jumps out.
- Yo mama so cheap, she rinse ice cubes to reuse them.
- Yo mama so bald, Minions mistake her for Gru.
- Yo mama so cold, her hugs give you frostbite.
- Yo mama so sweet, it gives me a sugar high.
- Yo mama so smart, Google searches her for everything.
- Yo mama so hairy, she only speaks Wookie.
- Yo mama so loud, she speaks in surround sound.
- Yo mama so slow, she came last in snail race.
- Yo mama so mad, McDonald’s won’t give her a Happy Meal.
- Yo mama so ugly, the boomerang didn’t come back.
- Yo mama so old, her birth certificate has an expiration date.
- Yo mama so short, she jumped into a puddle and needed a life vest.
- Yo mama so short, Santa mistakes her for an elf.

Section 10 of 10:

How to Tell a Dad Joke

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1
Tell a dad joke when it feels appropriate. There’s rarely an occasion that doesn’t benefit from a good (or terrible) dad joke! Dad jokes are usually an appropriate way to break the ice, get rid of an awkward silence, or lighten the mood; however, there may be instances when it’s best to save the jokes for later.^{[6]
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- For example, jumping into a casual conversation with a dad joke is a great way to make a funny entrance. But a dad joke may not be appropriate at a funeral or somber gathering.
- For the best results, theme your joke around what’s currently happening or being said. For instance, if you’re taking a stroll through the woods, use “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
2
Cater the joke to your audience. If you’re telling a joke to a kid, make it about something special to them. Share a silly pun or riddle about their favorite food, animal, or activity. This is a great way to make them laugh and engage in a conversation.^{[7]
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- Similarly, you can also make the joke a learning opportunity. For example, sharing a joke about atoms may help them ask questions and become curious about science.
3
Stick with one joke at a time. Avoid bombarding your audience with jokes. Instead, let them flow naturally. Space them out so your audience has plenty of time to react and reflect on your amazing joke-telling skills.^{[8]
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Keep a serious face. When telling your joke, try to keep a straight face. This is a great way to allude to your audience that you’re “serious” about whatever you said, making the joke that much funnier!^{[9]
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- Have a dad joke that’s so funny you can’t help but laugh? Tell us about it in the “Let’s hear your funniest dad jokes” forum!
5
Wait before you react. Before you start laughing at your own joke, wait for a reaction from your audience. Let the joke sink in for at least 5 seconds. Then, hoop and holler as much as you’d like!^{[10]
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Dad Joke Generator

Get ready to groan with the best dad jokes!
What has no thumbs but all the jokes? This Dad Joke Generator! Whether you’re finally ready to get your dad back for all those years of putting you through corny quips or if you need some extra material to bother your kids with, call us insurance because we have you covered! We may not be USPS but we’ll sure deliver!
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