Are You a Top Lip Kisser or Bottom Lip Kisser? (And Does It Matter?)

Dating coach David Chambers weighs in on what it means to kiss the top or bottom lip

Co-authored by Aly Rusciano Reviewed by David Chambers

Last Updated: December 13, 2025 Fact Checked

• Top Lip Kisses
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• Bottom Lip Kisses
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• Which is better?
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• Do you have to kiss the same?
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• How do you decide which lip to kiss?
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• Determining Your Kissing Style
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• Bottom Line
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• Video

|Show more |Show less

When you kiss someone, you likely naturally aim for the bottom or top lip. But what does this say about you? Is there a difference when it comes to kissing the top lip or the bottom lip? According to TikTok, there is. Keep reading to learn what everyone’s saying about the top lip kisser vs. bottom lip kisser debate, with insights from dating and relationship coach David Chambers.

Should I kiss the top lip or the bottom lip?

Dating and relationship coach David Chambers says kissing the top lip feels more intimate and delicate. Kissing the bottom lip is ideal if you want to share a more passionate kiss. That said, there’s no right or wrong lip to kiss! Do what feels natural and pleasurable in the moment.

Steps

Section 1 of 7:

Top Lip Kisses Explained

1. 
   Top lip kisses are gentle and kind. According to Chambers, kissing the top lip feels more intimate and delicate. Top lip kisses focus on kissing only the top lip of your partner. While intimate, these kisses are considered delicate and wistful. This style of kissing isn’t as natural as bottom lip kissing, which makes it that much more intricate. The nature of kissing the top lip is light and soft, making the kiss tender and compassionate rather than desirable.

   • For some, top lip kisses can spark a desire for a deeper, bottom lip kiss. Think of it as a way to test the chemistry—you never know what will spark!
   • This kissing style is preferred by actors because it doesn’t usually involve opening the mouth.
   • Top lip kisses are considered an “advanced” kissing style, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give it a shot.

   Meet the wikiHow Expert

   David Chambers is a dating and relationship coach and the founder of The Authentic Man. He has 20+ years of experience in the field.
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Section 2 of 7:

Bottom Lip Kisses Explained

1. 
   Bottom lip kisses are more passionate and intimate. Bottom lip kisses involve kissing the lower lip of your partner. Chambers says “[a] bottom lip kiss has more substance to it.” Bottom lip kisses are considered more sensual and deep because they generally involve opening the mouth. Overall, bottom lip kisses are more flexible—there’s room for tongue!

   • Although often passionate, bottom lip kisses are ideal for beginners; there’s more real estate on the bottom lip—it’s harder to miss.
   • Bottom lip kisses can also be gentle and delicate if the whole mouth isn’t involved. It’s all about your preference.
   • Chambers says if you're a top lip kisser, it can mean you're more assertive, and if you're a bottom lip kisser, it can mean you're surrendering to your partner. However, he also notes that it can simply indicate how you learned to kiss.

Section 3 of 7:

Are top or bottom lip kisses better?

1. 
   It's up to personal preference, but some think bottom lip kisses are more fun. According to TikTok, you can usually be more creative with the bottom lip. TikTok user n1glez says he prefers kissing a girl’s bottom lip. The bottom lip is plumper and can be “played around with” more.
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Section 4 of 7:

Do you always have to be a top or bottom lip kisser?

1. 
   No, you can be a “switch.” janine.hemmer on TikTok says it’s possible to be a top lip kisser, bottom lip kisser, or a switch. In other words, you may naturally kiss the top or bottom lip of your partner, but you could also be someone who “switches” between each lip during the kiss. This may be because you and your partner have the same kissing style and, for a good kiss, you need a top lip and a bottom lip kisser.

Section 5 of 7:

When do you decide who's the top or bottom lip kisser?

1. 
   Don't worry—it'll probably just happen naturally. gayandokay on TikTok brings up an interesting dilemma: When do we decide who is a top lip kisser and bottom lip kisser in a relationship? Everyone naturally has a lip that gravitates toward while kissing, but a good makeout session needs both a top lip and a bottom lip kisser. The comments are mixed, but the majority agree that it just organically happens.
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Section 6 of 7:

How to Determine Which Type of Kisser You Are

1. 
   The lip you naturally aim toward determines your kissing style. You’re a bottom lip kisser if you naturally gravitate toward kissing someone’s bottom lip, and you’re a top lip kisser if you go for the top lip—it’s that simple!

   • You may need to switch up your style, depending on how your partner kisses, but that usually comes naturally in the moment (don’t sweat it).
   • While TikTok may say otherwise, know that there’s no right or wrong way to kiss. Listen to your feelings and desires and go for it!

Section 7 of 7:

Top Lip vs. Bottom Lip Kiss: The Bottom Line

1. 
   Kissing the top lip is considered gentler and more compassionate, whereas kissing the bottom lip is generally more passionate and sensual. The majority say bottom lip kissing is better, but that’s up to your own opinion! At the end of the day, there’s no right or wrong way to kiss someone, but people do suggest doing the opposite of your partner for the best makeout session.
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