155+ Short, Clean & Easy-to-Memorize Jokes

Everyone loves a good joke, so it's a good idea to have a few up your sleeve whenever you make a new friend or run into someone who could use a laugh. To help you out, we've compiled a list of short and hysterical jokes and puns that are fun for the whole family and super easy to memorize! Keep reading for our favorite short dad jokes, clever one-liners, and goofy knee-slappers!

Short (but Hilarious) Jokes

What did the cake say to the fork?
- You want a piece of me?
What do you call a pig that does karate?
- A pork chop.
What do you call a guy who’s really loud?
- Mike.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Eileen.
How did the burger introduce his wife?
- "Meat Patty."
What do cows say when they hear a bad joke?
- “I am not amoosed.”

Section 1 of 8:

Short Funny Dad Jokes

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We try not to tell Dad jokes…but when we do, he cracks up! "A good dad joke feels like it comes from someone who cares," observes comedian Manuel Garavito, "like a father figure being playfully silly. It’s not imposing or edgy; it’s more like, 'Here’s a sweet little joke I thought you’d enjoy.' That’s the spirit of a dad joke—gentle, innocent, loving."^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Manuel Garavito
Comedian

Expert Interview}
- What do you call a pig that does karate?
  - A pork chop.
- What’s Forest Gump’s password?
  - 1Forest1.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
  - She looked at me surprised.
- Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
  - All the fans left.
- Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
  - It could crack up.
- How do poets say hello?
  - "Hey, haven’t we metaphor?"
- How did the burger introduce his wife?
  - "Meat Patty."
- What’s the smartest insect?
  - A spelling bee!
- How does a rabbi make his coffee?
  - Hebrews it.
- What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
  - R2 detour.
- How do you throw a space party?
  - You planet.
- how do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
  - You rocket.
- Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
  - They each got six months.
- Why can’t male ants sink?
  - They’re buoy-ant.
- What type of sandals do frogs wear?
  - Open-toad!
- Why are snails slow?
  - Because they’re carrying a house on their back.
- What is fast, loud and crunchy?
  - A rocket chip.
- How does the ocean say hi?
  - It waves!
- What do you call an ant who fights crime?
  - A vigilANTe!
- “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
  - He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.”
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
  - Because every play has a cast.
- Why are ghosts such bad liars?
  - Because they are easy to see through.
- Which building in New York has the most stories?
  - The public library.
Expert Answer

Q

Here's one of my go-to dad jokes. Expert advice

Roy Cohen
Trivia Expert
Roy Cohen is a trivia expert and host, also known as That Trivia Guy, based in California and New Jersey. Roy is the creator of Team Trivia, a professionally hosted custom-designed game where teams compete against one another in a game of mental agility. Roy is the author of books on trivia and alternate learning strategies in math, including "That’s Interesting", a book filled with 100 trivia questions and answers with additional interesting anecdotes. He volunteers at local schools teaching math in his free time and previously had a 30-year career on Wall Street. He received a BBA in Finance from Baruch College.

EXPERT ADVICE

Answer from Roy Cohen:

I say, "I don't know if you've noticed, but they're putting speed bumps in the parking lot." And people go, “They are?" I respond, “I was against them at first, but I'm slowly getting over it." It's a groaner, but it always gets a reaction.

Section 2 of 8:

Short Silly Jokes

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These jokes will induce some groans, but they're super goofy! What's the best thing about Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus! If you liked that silly joke, you'll love these:
- Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
  - Because it was cultured.
- Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
  - They don’t meet the koalafications.
- Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
  - In case she needed to draw blood.
- What do birds give out on Halloween?
  - Tweets.
- How do you know when a bike is thinking?
  - You can see their wheels turning.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
  - He ate the pizza before it was cool.
- What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
  - Re-Morse code.
- What do cows do on date night?
  - Go to the moo-vies.
- Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner?
  - Because he thought he couldn’t use his hands.
- Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand?
  - A palm tree!
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
  - I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
  - A coconut on vacation.
- What did one math book say to the other?
  - “I’ve got so many problems.”
- What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
  - "Bison."
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
  - Because the “P” is silent.
- What do you call a pony with a cough?
  - A little horse.
- Why is a football stadium always cold?
  - It has lots of fans!
- What did the cake say to the fork?
  - You want a piece of me?
- Why did the strawberry cry?
  - He found himself in a jam.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
  - Ten-tickles.
- What kind of math do birds love?
  - Owl-gebra!
- Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
  - Because he lost his filling.
- Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
  - The baa-baa shop!
- Why do French people eat snails?
  - They don’t like fast food.

Section 3 of 8:

Short Corny Jokes

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Try one of these short and totally corny kneeslappers. What's a cat's favorite dessert? Keep on reading to find out the rip-snortin' punchline!
- Where does Batman go to the bathroom?
  - The batroom.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
  - Aye matey.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
  - Because they make up everything.
- Where are average things manufactured?
  - The satisfactory.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest?
  - An investigator.
- Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
  - They dribble all the time.
- What did one hat say to the other?
  - You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
- What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
  - A chew-chew train.
- Why did the M&M go to school?
  - It wanted to be a Smartie.
- I poured root beer in a square glass.
  - Now I just have beer.
- How does a vampire start a letter?
  - “Tomb it may concern …”
- What do you call a guy who’s really loud?
  - Mike.
- How do you count cows?
  - With a cowculator.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye?
  - Between us, something smells!
- What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
  - A chicken sees a salad.
- Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
  - Because they are such fungis.
- Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
  - Too many ears.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
  - Just in case he got a hole in one!
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
  - A bowl full of mice-cream.
- What did one pickle say to the other?
  - Dill with it. Check out these some pickle puns that are, well, kind of a big dill.
- What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat?
  - Thunderwear.
- What is fast, loud and crunchy?
  - A rocket chip.
- Two artists had an art contest.
  - It ended in a draw!
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
  - A bowl full of mice-cream.
- Why do ducks have feathers on their tails?
  - To cover their butt quacks.
- What has ears but cannot hear?
  - A cornfield.

Section 4 of 8:

Short Cheesy Jokes

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These jokes are just dripping with cheese! And maybe some corn, too? What's the difference between a corny joke and a cheesy joke? You tell us!
- A plane crashed in the jungle, and every single person died.
  - Who survived? Married couples.
- Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
  - In the piano!
- What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
  - “Freeze. You’re under a vest.”
- What social events do spiders love to attend?
  - Webbings.
- What is a room with no walls?
  - A mushroom.
- Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
  - Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
- What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
  - “Freeze. You’re under a vest.”
- Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school?
  - For tweeting on a test!
- I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
  - I lost my case.
- Why do ducks have feathers on their tails?
  - To cover their butt quacks.
- What did one pickle say to the other?
  - "Dill with it."
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide-and-seek?
  - Because he was always spotted.
- Why do bees have sticky hair?
  - Because they use honeycombs.
- How do trees get online?
  - They just log on!
- Why are elephants wrinkly?
  - Because you can’t iron them.
- Where do fish sleep?
  - In the riverbed.
- What do you call a woman with one leg?
  - Eileen.
- Why don’t the circus lions eat the clowns?
  - Because they taste funny!
- What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
  - That hit the spot!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground?
  - To get to the other slide.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
  - A gummy bear.

Section 5 of 8:

Short Funny Jokes for Kids

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These jokes are perfect for youngsters. They're hilarious, appropriate for all ages, and they're easy to remember! Any young amateur comedian can memorize these jokes for their next talent show:
- What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
  - A hoarse radish!
- What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
  - This tastes a little funny.
- What did 0 say to 8?
  - “Nice belt.”
- What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?
  - A parrot.
- Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
  - His car got toad away.
- What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
  - The space bar.
- What do you call a magic dog?
  - A labracadabrador.
- What do cows say when they hear a bad joke?
  - “I am not amoosed.”
- Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
  - “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
- How did the two cats end their fight?
  - They hissed and made up.
- A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
  - “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
- How do you drown a hipster?
  - Throw him in the mainstream.
- What did the lava say to his girlfriend?
  - “I lava you!”
- What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
  - A nervous wreck.
- What does a nosy pepper do?
  - Gets jalapeño business!
- How does Moses make tea?
  - He brews.
- Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East. What is the name of the fourth child?
  - Sandy, obviously!
- Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn the alphabet?
  - Because he always got lost at “C.”
- Why do birds fly south in the winter?
  - It’s faster than walking!
- Which superhero hits home runs?
  - Batman!
- Why did the student eat his homework?
  - Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
- Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
  - They always take things literally.
- What do you call two bananas on the floor?
  - Slippers.
- How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
  - Put lox on it.
- Why did the chicken go to the séance?
  - To get to the other side.
- What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?
  - HDMI.
- What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
  - Give me my quarterback.
- What’s Thanos’ favorite app on his phone?
  - Snapchat.
- What did the lettuce say to the celery?
  - Quit stalking me!

Section 6 of 8:

Short Funny One-Liners

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Crack up your pals with these hilarious one-liners. These jokes are so short, many of them are only a single sentence—but they'll still leave you laughing your butt off! Best of all, they're super easy to memorize, so you can pull out a silly one-liner whenever the situation calls for it:
- There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king, but a great ruler.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
- I invented a new word! “Plagiarism!”
- Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
- RIP to boiling water. You will be mist.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
- My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
- Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
- I hate Russian dolls—they’re so full of themselves.
- The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21.
- I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy.
- People are always shocked when they discover I'm a really bad electrician.
- My father always said, "When one door closes, another one opens." He was a very wise man, but a terrible cabinet-maker.

Section 7 of 8:

Short Funny Knock-Knock Jokes

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Knock, knock! Who's there? WikiHow! The knock-knock joke is a classic joke framework—and because the formula is so famous, knock-knock jokes are super easy to remember!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - A pile-up.
  - A pile-up who?
  - Oh no, yuck!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Alice.
  - Alice who?
  - Alice fair in love and war.
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Control Freak.
  - Con…
  - OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
- Knock knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Urine.
  - Urine who?
  - Urine trouble!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Luke.
  - Luke who?
  - Luke through the peephole and find out.
- Knock knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Ken.
  - Ken who?
  - Ken I come in?
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Cows go.
  - Cows go who?
  - No, cows go moo!
- Knock knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Tank.
  - Tank who?
  - You’re welcome.
- Knock, knock.
  - Who’s there?
  - Art.
  - Art who?
  - R2-D2, of course!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Hal.
  - Hal who?
  - Hal will you know if you don’t open the door?
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Nobel.
  - Nobel who?
  - Nobel, that’s why I knocked!
- Knock, knock.
  - Who’s there?
  - An extraterrestrial.
  - An extraterrestrial who?
  - Wait—how many extraterrestrials do you know?
- Knock, knock.
  - Who’s there?
  - Candice.
  - Candice who?
  - Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Says.
  - Says who?
  - Says me!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Figs.
  - Figs who?
  - Figs the doorbell, it’s not working!
- Knock, knock.
  - Who’s there?
  - Anna.
  - Anna who? …
  - Anna partridge in a pear tree.
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Honey bee.
  - Honey bee who?
  - Honey, bee a dear and get that for me, please!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - Annie.
  - Annie who?
  - Annie thing you can do, I can do better!
- Knock, knock!
  - Who’s there?
  - A little old lady.
  - A little old lady who?
  - I didn't know you could yodel!