What Is My Toxic Trait?

Answer these questions, and we'll tell you!

Toxic traits are just like opinions: everyone's got one, and they all stink...and they're all different! Wondering what your own red flag is? We'll tell it to you straight!

Just answer a few questions about your personality and habits, and we'll tell you what your most toxic trait is. Hit "Start Quiz" to begin!

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Questions Overview

1. Which would you rather be?
  1. Successful
  2. Stable
  3. Loved
  4. Powerful
2. Of these, what's your worst fear?
  1. Being humiliated
  2. Being a burden
  3. Being wrong
  4. Being alone
3. Do you ever secretly feel like you're better than other people?
  1. Yes, but I'm not secret about it!
  2. Yeah, a bit.
  3. Not really.
  4. Not at all.
4. Is the glass half-empty or half-full?
  1. Half-empty
  2. Half-full
  3. Mostly full
  4. Mostly empty
5. True or false? "You must put on your own oxygen mask before you can help other people."
  1. Definitely true
  2. Mostly true
  3. Mostly false
  4. Definitely false
6. Would you say you're competitive?
  1. Yes, very much so
  2. A bit
  3. Not really
  4. No way
7. Who are you in your friend group?
  1. The listening ear
  2. The leader
  3. The lone wolf
  4. The baby
8. A friend says something that hurts your feelings. Do you confront them?
  1. Yes. They messed up, and they should know it!
  2. No (but I hope they notice it upset me).
  3. Nah, but it's not going to stop me from dwelling on it.
  4. Maybe. I'm less concerned about their behavior than my own.
9. Would you say you're pretty good at owning up to your mistakes?
  1. Yes, very good.
  2. Yeah, I'm pretty good.
  3. Nah, not really.
  4. What mistakes?
10. Finally, which of these quotes speaks to you?
  1. "Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do.... Try to be better than yourself." —William Faulkner
  2. "There is power in self-sacrifice." —Veronica Roth
  3. "My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery—always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud." —Virginia Woolf
  4. "I celebrate myself, and sing myself." —Walt Whitman

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What Are Toxic Traits?

The terms "toxic trait" and "red flag" are thrown around a lot on the internet, but what do they really mean? "When we speak of red flags, we are speaking of behaviors, attitudes, and perceptions that are toxic," explains clinical psychologist Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS.[1] These traits and habits might include:

  • Manipulation: A manipulative person may take advantage of others to get what they want.
  • Dishonesty: Someone who is dishonest may lie, cheat, or conceal the truth to get something they want, avoid taking responsibility for something, or avoid conflict.
  • People-pleasing: People-pleasers defer to the wants and needs of others to an extreme level. They often dismiss their own happiness for the sake of other people's. This can lead to a tendency to be taken advantage of and to become resentful of others.
  • Self-centeredness: Self-centered and egoistic people often want the focus to be about them, and not on anyone else. They may be arrogant and think they're better than other people.
  • Overthinking: People who overthink dwell on everything, from past mistakes to worries about the future. They may become so caught up in their own thoughts that they aren't present in everyday life.
  • Critical attitude: An overly critical person finds fault in everything and everyone, and likely complains about it a lot too.
  • Negativity: A negative person suffers from an overly pessimistic view of the world. They may complain a lot and bring others down.
  • Lack of accountability: Someone who struggles to take accountability for things may refuse to own up to mistakes or say sorry when they hurt other people. They may deflect blame or make excuses to avoid taking accountability.
  • Inflexibility: Someone who is inflexible wants everything to be their way. They may also be controlling and stubborn.
  • Passive-aggressiveness: Passive-aggressive people avoid expressing "negative" feelings because they feel uncomfortable confronting others. Instead, they may express displeasure in indirect ways, like through sarcasm or giving someone the cold shoulder.
  • Jealousy: Jealous people are possessive and may be envious of other people's achievements. They may be resentful of people who have things they don't.
  • Perfectionism: Perfectionists are overly focused on their own success and may view imperfection as weakness or failure. They put enormous and unrealistic pressure on themselves to be the best at everything they attempt.


Everyone is toxic at some point in their lives, so don't worry if you recognize any of these traits in yourself! Life isn't about being perfect (even for the perfectionists among us); it's about learning and growing.

We've listed some of the most common toxic traits, but there are many more. To keep reading about different red flags and how to overcome them (or spot them in other people), check out "25 Toxic Personality Traits to Watch Out for in Yourself and Others."

Want to learn more?

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References

  1. ↑ Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview