What Is the Slick Tone Method? The Viral Dating Technique Explained

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Trend expert Gavin Santiago breaks down the TikTok dating advice

Co-authored by Gavin Santiago and Eric McClure

Last Updated: November 24, 2025 Fact Checked

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• The Slick Tone Method Explained
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• How to Use It
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• When to Use It
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• Does It Work?
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• Tips

|Show more |Show less

Despite its name, the slick tone method isn’t actually about using a slick tone. Well, it’s partly that, but that’s only one ingredient here. Proponents of this method will claim it’s a reliable way to attract romantic partners, but critics think it’s a toxic and manipulative way to go about dating. To help break the slick tone method down and assess whether it’s productive, we met with trend expert Gavin Santiago to get an insider look at what young people are saying about this controversial process.

The Slick Tone Method for Dating

Trend expert Gavin Santiago says that this simple process has three elements: talking someone up in a smooth way, disappearing for a few days, and then posting something unique on social media and reconnecting with them. The goal is to give the other person the impression that you’re mysterious and busy.

Steps

Section 1 of 4:

What is the slick tone method?

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1. 
   The slick tone method is a 3-step process to attract someone. Santiago says, “At its core, the slick tone method is to create intrigue through inconsistent communication. For example, you’d spend several days communicating consistently with somebody; maybe that’s texting all day, calling, or going on a date. But then, you ghost them for a few days before resuming the same level of communication.” The three core steps are:

   • Talk smoothly and eloquently while cultivating a connection. Use a warm, open tone and a cool demeanor to get to know someone (or build momentum with someone you already know).
   • Disappear for a few days. Ghost the other person for a day or two and spend the time alone working on whatever non-social activity you’d like.
   • Post something vague on social media and reconnect. Share a surprising post, like you traveling to a random place by yourself, or enjoying a new hobby people would never assume you’d be into, and then reconnect with the person you were originally talking to. If it worked, you’ll have piqued their interest!

   Meet the wikiHow Expert

   Gavin Santiago is a trend expert and content creator who posts social commentary, pop culture hot takes, and relationship controversies to his 45,000+ TikTok followers.
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Section 2 of 4:

How to Use the Slick Tone Method

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1. 
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   Talk up a cutie you want to connect with. The trick is to use a really mature, cool tone and to focus on topics that will make the other person interested in you. As Santiago says, “The key is in how you present yourself: You have to communicate clearly and confidently, or it defeats the whole purpose. Think like the hot/cold method in dating, only with an air of intrigue.”

   • For example, if the other person says “What are you up to today?” and you were planning on seeing a movie with your friends, you might say, “I’m going to a social event with a few friends if I have the time.”
   • Instead of saying something like, “I’ve got to go to work, I’ll hit you up when I get home,” you might try, “Unfortunately, I have a prior engagement I have to attend to. I may text you later tonight if I’m free.”
2. 
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   Ghost them for 1-2 days and don’t attend any big social events. Santiago explains that it isn’t just about not talking to them: “The other thing is, you can’t just ghost them. You have to also go silent on social media (including not watching their stories).” The other person shouldn’t be able to track you down at all, so avoid hanging out with a bunch of people or appearing as “online” on Messenger or Instagram.

   • This is the perfect time to tackle a big task you’ve been putting off. Spend 1-2 days working on a big school project, finishing college applications, or putting the final touches on the mixtape you’ve been working on.
   • You can totally reach out to trusted confidants, but you’re best off just staying to yourself for these few days.
3. 
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   Post something interesting and a little weird on social media. Santiago breaks it down: “After a few days of silence, post something completely out of the ordinary: like suddenly you’re exploring a new hobby that nobody foresaw, or you went on a solo road trip 2 states away; basically something to make them curious. So, then when you go to talk to them again, they’re going to have so many questions: where were you, what were you doing, why, etc. The point is to pique their interest and keep them guessing.”

   • Whatever you decide to post, don’t respond to the comments! Just keep things quiet. It’ll cultivate even more mystery.
4. 
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   Reconnect with the original cutie to see if it worked. Santiago explains that if the slick tone method works (and sometimes it doesn’t), your crush will be over the moon when you reach back out. They’ll be full of questions, trying to hang out, and super invested in continuing to get to know you even better than they already do.
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Section 3 of 4:

When to Use the Slick Tone Method

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1. 
   This process isn’t ideal if you have a serious crush on someone. Santiago doesn’t recommend using the slick tone method if you really want to get to know someone. It’s probably best for casual flings and attempted one-night stands. He says, “I wouldn’t use this method on somebody you were genuinely interested in dating because it could work against you; it might make you come across as toxic or manipulative if they realize what you’re doing.”

   • Is the slick tone method toxic or manipulative? There’s some debate over this so we’ll let you draw your own conclusions, but it’s probably morally ambiguous at best. It’s not good to lie or put on a show for someone to get them to like you, but whether that qualifies as toxic or manipulative is up to you.

Section 4 of 4:

Does the slick tone method work?

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1. 
   There isn’t a lot of good evidence one way or the other. It’s certainly possible that there are people out there who are naturally drawn to people who disappear for days on end, but there are definitely people out there who will write off someone who ghosts them for multiple days. The TLDR here is that the slick tone method might work, but there’s no good evidence it’s a reliable way to pick people up or find a partner. As Santiago concludes, “This method walks a fine line between making them curious and pushing them away.”

   • It’s likely that if the slick tone method works on someone, just continuing to be yourself and be communicative and honest probably would have worked as well.
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Tips

• Santiago points out that “in the past this has been attributed to men in the dating scene but more videos have been surfacing of women encouraging other women to use this as a dating technique.”
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