How Long Should You Wait to Reply to a Crush's Text? An Expert Answers

Download Article

Relationship expert Joshua Pompey explains why you shouldn't respond too fast—or too slow!

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Elaine Heredia, BA

Last Updated: November 21, 2025 Fact Checked

Download Article

Text Response Times

|

Prompt Response Tips

|

Video

|

Expert Interview

|

Tips

It's always exciting when a new text from your crush pops up on your phone! While you might not have a reply prepared right away, the other person is probably waiting for you to respond. But how quickly should you answer? Come along with us as we share text response time etiquette and tips for responding promptly. We'll also share advice about texting your crush back from relationship expert Joshua Pompey, as well as tips for replying to someone you're not interested in from matchmaker and certified life coach Christina Jay, NLP.

Text Response Time Etiquette 101

Relationship expert Joshua Pompey says not to blow up someone else's phone with texts too quickly, or they might be overwhelmed. On the flip side, you also shouldn't wait 2-3 days to text back, since this can come off rude. Here's how fast to respond:

Respond to time-sensitive messages ASAP.
To show interest, answer your crush within 5-10 minutes.
To play hard to get, reply to texts within 30 minutes.
If you’re super busy, reply within 24 hours.
Text an apology within 1 week if you forgot to respond earlier.
Don't reply if you're not interested in continuing the relationship.

Section 1 of 2:

How Long to Wait to Text Your Crush Back

Download Article

1
Try to answer time-sensitive messages ASAP. It's easy to forget about a message until later on if it gets lost in your notifications, but if someone asks you a question that needs an immediate answer, be respectful of their time and reply right away. That way, you won’t keep them guessing, and they can keep doing what they need to.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For example, you should try to reply right away when someone asks you if they need to buy a ticket for an event later that night.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Joshua Pompey is a relationship expert and the founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM). He has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry and specializes in helping clients navigate online dating.

Christina Jay, NLP, is a matchmaker and a certified life coach. She has over 10 years of coaching experience and owns a matchmaking service called Preferred Match, where she helps successful and elite individuals find love.
2
Respond to your crush within 5-10 minutes if you're into them. Why keep the person waiting if you’re excited to chat? If you’re just relaxing and you get a text from someone you really like, take the time to read it and respond within a few minutes. The person you’re talking to will really appreciate the speedy reply and know that you’re eager to continue your conversation!^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Tip: Some people can see when you open a message even if you didn’t respond, which could make them feel anxious. Wait to open your texts until you can respond to them. You can still usually read your messages in your notifications without opening the app.
- Reader Poll: We asked 258 wikiHow readers how they would respond if a girl texts them back quickly, and 53% of them said they would also reply back fast to show her they like her. [Take Poll] This is a great way to show you’re interested and engaged in the conversation!
Advertisement
3
Reply within 30 minutes to create a fun chase. Even though you might be really excited to message the other person, you also don't want to seem like you're constantly waiting for them to text you. Pompey says waiting for a little while to respond is also a good way to increase your crush's desire to talk to you. "You don't want to really play games necessarily," he says, "but at the same time, you do want to create a little bit of a chase, so that they don't feel like you're always there and they have you anytime they want you."^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

Expert Interview} Wait for about half an hour, so they don't think you’re always on your phone checking for their reply.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- But don't wait too long! "If you go 2-3 days without contacting someone, it doesn't look like you're in high demand. It just makes it look like you're a jerk because they know you have your phone," says Pompey. Strike a balance between being responsive and leaving them wanting more.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  
  Expert Interview}
4
Catch up within 24 hours if you're really busy. There may be days when you’re absolutely slammed and can’t check your phone, and that’s okay! Let the other person know that you’re sorry for being so busy, and offer a kind and thoughtful response to their message when you get a chance (preferably within 24 hours).
- For example, you could say something like, "I am SO sorry, work was such a mess today, but other than that I’ve been pretty good! I hope your day wasn’t as stressful as mine 😊"
5
Wait until the next day instead of texting super late at night. Texting someone too late could wake them up! Make sure the person is awake and available when you reply to them, so they see your message as soon as possible. If you think the person is asleep, you can wait until morning to message them back. That way, you’re less likely to wait around for their reply.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- If you know the person keeps their phone on silent or vibrate, then it might be okay to reply late at night so they see your message when they wake up.
6
Apologize within a week if you forgot to respond. Even if you’re taking things slow as you get to know the person, too long in between texts can give someone the wrong impression. Say you're sorry about taking so long to get back to them.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For example, you might say, "OMG I’m so sorry I missed this! I totally didn't mean to keep you waiting this long."
7
Don't reply at all if you aren't interested. This works best if you’re texting someone on a dating app that you just connected with. If you haven’t gotten together with them in person yet, you haven’t really had the time to form a strong bond with them, so it’s okay to leave their messages on read if you aren’t interested.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- If you have met the person you’re talking to, but you still aren’t interested in the conversation, let them know you're ending it. Jay suggests telling them they're a great person, but you're not interested in dating right now. "They'll take the hint," she says. "If not, you have to tell them directly that you are not interested in dating them."^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Christina Jay, NLP
  Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
  
  Expert Interview}
- It’s also okay to ghost someone if you feel unsafe when you’re talking to them!

Section 2 of 2:

Tips for Replying to Texts Promptly

Download Article

1
Say you’re busy, so you don’t leave your crush on read. It’s completely normal if you can’t send a full response to someone right when you receive it. If you’re caught up doing something else and can't really chat right now, try to chime in to let the person know you’re not ignoring them. Then, you can give them a time that works better for you.
- For example, you could say something like, "Hey, I’m caught up right now, but I can chat tonight!
If someone takes a few hours to text you, wait that long to reply. If the person responds to you within a few minutes, they’re probably pretty eager to keep up the conversation, so say something back just as quickly. If the person took about a day, then you’re fine leaving the text until tomorrow before you have to reply.^{[10]
X
Research source}
3
Ask for some time to respond to tough questions. If someone asks you a deep or tough question and you aren’t sure how to respond, ask if they can give you extra thinking time. That way, the person knows to expect a response eventually, but you no longer feel the pressure to answer immediately.
- For example, you could say something like, "I’m really going to have to think on that one! Can I get back to you in a few days?"
4
Wait 4 hours before texting again if they don’t respond. Studies have shown that after 4 hours, you’re more likely to get a response if you text again. That gives you enough time to restart the conversation without coming across as too clingy.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- While most people aren’t bothered by a double text, a long string of messages or a wall of text can be intimidating to reply to. Try to avoid putting that pressure on someone else, and keep your replies to 1-2 texts until you get a response back.

Join the Discussion...

Is expecting a text once an hour bad?

WikiNarwhalWatcher458

My SO and I have been dating for a few months and we text a lot since we're apart a lot when we're at work or school or even home because we don't live together. Recently, they're always taking a bit longer to reply. I'd really love to hear from them at leat once every hour, but idk if that would be a bad thing to ask. I don't really think that it's that unreasonable, but I'd love to hear what other people have to say about it.

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Video

Tips

Reply to texts at the speed at which you want to receive an answer. If the other person consistently responds much more slowly, it may be a sign they're not as invested in your relationship.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Keep in mind that people have different texting habits, so one person might take longer to respond than another.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0