How can you develop self discipline?
07/28/25 4:36pm
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This is just an idea, but try turning your tasks into little rituals. Before starting your task, take three deep breaths, light a candle, or put on focus music. This signals to your brain that this time matters. When the task is done, close the ritual. Blow out the candle, stop the music, stop your timer. These simple start and stop cues help you stay focused, present, and turn self-discipline into something a bit more meaningful instead of a chore.
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So often we're hard on ourselves when there’s something we want to get done, but we don’t accomplish it, so I like to build in some type of reinforcement: whether it's positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, punishment, or reward. I think that helps with self-discipline, or doing the tasks that you want to do. So for example, say there is a task I want to finish by 6 pm, and I tell myself that I’ll reward myself with whatever I want to eat for dinner if I complete the task. You may be more likely to follow through and do that thing, and ideally, that reward will fill your cup and motivate you to finish.
Another thing that helps reinforce self-discipline is to recognize your wins, whether they're small or large. I’ll also put time constraints around certain tasks and not let myself work on them beyond the window of time that I’ve allotted. So if I have a task to complete and I think it’ll take 30 minutes to finish, I’ll set a 30-minute timer to work on the task, and as soon as that time is up, I’m done with it. I think it’s important that when you commit to something, you commit to doing it and also to not doing it – it goes both ways.
The last thing I'll say for self-discipline is, as you're trying to hold yourself accountable, you can also bake in accountability around yourself. Put people in place who can help you stay motivated or stay on track with some of the things that you're trying to do. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
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Another thing that helps reinforce self-discipline is to recognize your wins, whether they're small or large. I’ll also put time constraints around certain tasks and not let myself work on them beyond the window of time that I’ve allotted. So if I have a task to complete and I think it’ll take 30 minutes to finish, I’ll set a 30-minute timer to work on the task, and as soon as that time is up, I’m done with it. I think it’s important that when you commit to something, you commit to doing it and also to not doing it – it goes both ways.
The last thing I'll say for self-discipline is, as you're trying to hold yourself accountable, you can also bake in accountability around yourself. Put people in place who can help you stay motivated or stay on track with some of the things that you're trying to do. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
That's a great question because a lot of us know what to do. Most people know how to eat a bit healthier. They know they should walk a bit more, run a bit more, go to they gym. We all know what to do, but why don't we do it? We don't have a routine that facilitates the discipline. Routine and discipline go hand in hand.
What we think about most will define how we feel most, and how we feel most will govern our decisions. Our decisions will govern our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our character, and our character becomes our identity. So, at the end of the day, if we let ourselves just go where we want in our thoughts, well, then we'll be led by our emotions and never be disciplined.
Discipline comes when you ask the question, not who am I, but who do I want to be? And how do I want to feel in life? Then, once you establish your goal for who you want to be, remember that you must be consistent in order to see change. Better consistency is far greater than occasional brilliance. If you remember that, that's discipline right there. It's showing up when it's raining and when it's sunny.
If you spend 10,000 hours doing anything, you will become halfway good at it. You might even be brilliant at it. That's because of discipline. It's your tenacity and your consistency and routine that facilitate that. Establish a consistent routine, and discipline will come.
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What we think about most will define how we feel most, and how we feel most will govern our decisions. Our decisions will govern our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our character, and our character becomes our identity. So, at the end of the day, if we let ourselves just go where we want in our thoughts, well, then we'll be led by our emotions and never be disciplined.
Discipline comes when you ask the question, not who am I, but who do I want to be? And how do I want to feel in life? Then, once you establish your goal for who you want to be, remember that you must be consistent in order to see change. Better consistency is far greater than occasional brilliance. If you remember that, that's discipline right there. It's showing up when it's raining and when it's sunny.
If you spend 10,000 hours doing anything, you will become halfway good at it. You might even be brilliant at it. That's because of discipline. It's your tenacity and your consistency and routine that facilitate that. Establish a consistent routine, and discipline will come.
To develop self-discipline, you have to sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term benefit. Start by identifying your biggest goals and dreams. If money or time weren’t a constraint, what would you want? Be a visionary. I call this crafting your “dream machine.” When you visualize your dreams, your brain starts to form new neural pathways. It doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality—so start thinking big.
A key thing to ask yourself is: "Do I really want this goal?" Be honest. A lot of people think they want something because it’s trendy, their friend has it, or their parents expect it. But if it’s not truly your goal, you’re going to give yourself permission to quit. Procrastination is real, especially for the neurodivergent community, but aligning your goals with what you genuinely want—free from outside voices—helps a lot.
Then ask: "Why do I want this?" You need a reason that truly motivates you. “I want to get healthy so I look better” isn’t strong enough, but “I want to get off thyroid medication. I want to walk a mile without getting winded. I want to be there when my kids graduate,” are powerful, emotional reasons that will get you out of bed. Only 1% of people write down their goals, but doing so clears mental space and helps you visualize and remember your why.
Remember, motivation isn’t given—it’s created. It’s a byproduct of taking action. Most people love learning, but we need to become obsessed with uncomfortable action instead. Taking action, especially uncomfortable action, builds confidence and momentum. That’s where your growth lives. A good journaling prompt is: "What thoughts, behaviors, or actions are no longer serving my life?" Be honest. Start there.
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A key thing to ask yourself is: "Do I really want this goal?" Be honest. A lot of people think they want something because it’s trendy, their friend has it, or their parents expect it. But if it’s not truly your goal, you’re going to give yourself permission to quit. Procrastination is real, especially for the neurodivergent community, but aligning your goals with what you genuinely want—free from outside voices—helps a lot.
Then ask: "Why do I want this?" You need a reason that truly motivates you. “I want to get healthy so I look better” isn’t strong enough, but “I want to get off thyroid medication. I want to walk a mile without getting winded. I want to be there when my kids graduate,” are powerful, emotional reasons that will get you out of bed. Only 1% of people write down their goals, but doing so clears mental space and helps you visualize and remember your why.
Remember, motivation isn’t given—it’s created. It’s a byproduct of taking action. Most people love learning, but we need to become obsessed with uncomfortable action instead. Taking action, especially uncomfortable action, builds confidence and momentum. That’s where your growth lives. A good journaling prompt is: "What thoughts, behaviors, or actions are no longer serving my life?" Be honest. Start there.
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