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Toni Purvis
Etiquette and Professional Presence Coach
Toni Purvis is an etiquette and professional presence coach with offices in Houston, TX and Washington, DC. With over 15 years of consulting experience, she is the Founder of Paradigm One, specializing in coaching, workshops, and professional development program planning for Fortune companies, nonprofit organizations, and schools. She is also the founder of The School of Disruptive Etiquette, offering modern etiquette and soft skills courses and coaching to help young adults learn confidence and professionalism and navigate life. Toni previously worked as the Assistant Director of Career Coaching at the George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs and served as the Associate Director of MBA Student Engagement at the GW School of Business. As Associate Director of Executive Programs, Toni managed career development programs for Management Leadership for Tomorrow (MLT), creating customized leadership programming for senior leaders at major companies like Google and JP Morgan Chase.
Education
- BA, Psychology, Spelman College (summa cum laude)
- MA, Christian Leadership, Fuller Theological Seminary
- MBA, George Washington School of Business
Professional Achievements
- Founder of The School of Disruptive Etiquette and The Foundation for Disruptive Giving, a micro-philanthropy organization to encourage acts of kindness
- Serves as President of The Dr. Angela Nicole Bullock Foundation
- Instructor for LinkedIn Learning and a Volunteer Etiquette Instructor across the country
- Featured in numerous podcasts and articles, including The Wall Street Journal, and was a podcast guest for the WSJ episode titled “What the $@# Happened to Our Manners at Work?”
Favorite Piece of Advice
Etiquette is the practice of being aware—aware of yourself, aware of others, and aware of the moment you’re creating. The more intentional you are, the more your interactions feel thoughtful and authentic, instead of transactional. This is the definition of confidence and empowerment, and it is how strong reputations and relationships are built.
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Forum Comments (1)
How can you develop self discipline?
So often we're hard on ourselves when there’s something we want to get done, but we don’t accomplish it, so I like to build in some type of reinforcement: whether it's positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, punishment, or reward. I think that helps with self-discipline, or doing the tasks that you want to do. So for example, say there is a task I want to finish by 6 pm, and I tell myself that I’ll reward myself with whatever I want to eat for dinner if I complete the task. You may be more likely to follow through and do that thing, and ideally, that reward will fill your cup and motivate you to finish.
Another thing that helps reinforce self-discipline is to recognize your wins, whether they're small or large. I’ll also put time constraints around certain tasks and not let myself work on them beyond the window of time that I’ve allotted. So if I have a task to complete and I think it’ll take 30 minutes to finish, I’ll set a 30-minute timer to work on the task, and as soon as that time is up, I’m done with it. I think it’s important that when you commit to something, you commit to doing it and also to not doing it – it goes both ways.
The last thing I'll say for self-discipline is, as you're trying to hold yourself accountable, you can also bake in accountability around yourself. Put people in place who can help you stay motivated or stay on track with some of the things that you're trying to do. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
Another thing that helps reinforce self-discipline is to recognize your wins, whether they're small or large. I’ll also put time constraints around certain tasks and not let myself work on them beyond the window of time that I’ve allotted. So if I have a task to complete and I think it’ll take 30 minutes to finish, I’ll set a 30-minute timer to work on the task, and as soon as that time is up, I’m done with it. I think it’s important that when you commit to something, you commit to doing it and also to not doing it – it goes both ways.
The last thing I'll say for self-discipline is, as you're trying to hold yourself accountable, you can also bake in accountability around yourself. Put people in place who can help you stay motivated or stay on track with some of the things that you're trying to do. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
