Help I'm not sure what's going on with my BFF...
Hey, I'm a 16-year-old in sophomore year in high school. I have a best friend who've I've known since 1st grade, and lately, she's been acting a bit weird. Lowkey, she's been 'insulting' me for stuff (eg: "Lord of the Rings is geeky", or "Who cares?"). And I mean I can come off as a bit intense about the stuff I like (like a bit over the top), but hearing that from your best friend especially is insulting IMO.
I dunno what to do about this. I'm a bit shy when it comes to stuff like this, and I don't know how to approach her with this. Do you guys have any suggestions? Anything would be appreciated
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You shared that this has been your best friend since first grade, which is really special. It’s natural that over the years both of you have grown, changed, and sometimes become passionate about different things. One thing a best friend should always do is lift you up, encourage you, and support what matters to you. If she is insulting something you feel excited or passionate about, have a conversation about it. Not a conversation where you blame her, but one where you calmly share your feelings and explain how it affects you when she makes fun of something that means a lot to you.
You shared that you are “intense” about some things, which means you are passionate. Passion is a good thing. We all deserve friends who respect and encourage the things that excite us, even if those interests aren’t exactly the same as theirs. Friendship involves encouraging one another, offering support, and helping each other grow into the best versions of ourselves. I have provided a link to a book on friendship that can help you build lifelong friendships, One Friend? Two Friends? Good Friend? Bad Friend?: Teen's Guide to Creating Lifelong Friendships.
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You shared that you are “intense” about some things, which means you are passionate. Passion is a good thing. We all deserve friends who respect and encourage the things that excite us, even if those interests aren’t exactly the same as theirs. Friendship involves encouraging one another, offering support, and helping each other grow into the best versions of ourselves. I have provided a link to a book on friendship that can help you build lifelong friendships, One Friend? Two Friends? Good Friend? Bad Friend?: Teen's Guide to Creating Lifelong Friendships.
Hey Solana66, it sounds like your friend might be trying to act "cool" or detached, but that shouldn't come at the expense of your feelings. Since you’re shy, you don’t need a huge confrontation; next time she makes a dig, try a low-pressure reality check like, "Ouch, why the hate? It's just what I like." If she’s a true BFF, she’ll realize she’s crossing a line and dial it back. If she keeps it up, she might be prioritizing a new "vibe" over your history. You deserve friends who celebrate your enthusiasm rather than shutting it down.
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Maybe something overwhelming is happening in her life.
I'm mean to my friends sometimes and I don't mean to.
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I'm mean to my friends sometimes and I don't mean to.
Hey! so as someone who's in high-school and has had these issues in the past, people are constantly changing hun. Like- Always changing! and I know, from her POV, that sometimes as a friend I get annoyed or overstimulated with my friends too. Does this make it okay for them to be rude? Ofcourse not! but sometimes people just need to talk, things may be going on at home or maybe even in that head of theirs. They just need to voice it, because if they don't and they hide it it comes out rude and mean.
My recommendation: Bring it up kindly, ask them if there okay, ask them if they need a break. If voices get raised or they respond negatively, then it is wise to consult to a counselor and give them some space. Don't want you or them getting hurt, and by the way, your interests are perfectly normal and super cool! Never hide them or be discouraged for liking something different than your friends or peers. Me personally my favorite character from LOTR is Boromir!! he gets a lot of hate tho. :(
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My recommendation: Bring it up kindly, ask them if there okay, ask them if they need a break. If voices get raised or they respond negatively, then it is wise to consult to a counselor and give them some space. Don't want you or them getting hurt, and by the way, your interests are perfectly normal and super cool! Never hide them or be discouraged for liking something different than your friends or peers. Me personally my favorite character from LOTR is Boromir!! he gets a lot of hate tho. :(
Oooooh thanks for the advice also Boromir does NOT desrve that much hate - he only stole the ring to help Gondor (IMO). Honestly I love Legolas and Gimli A LOT :)
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Real!!!!! THANK YOU!! And no problem! Hope things are going okay for you! Legolas is so cool! I've always liked character who use bow and arrow, GIMLI is my second favorite!!!!!!!!!!! He's hilarious!!!!!
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Ya they are I talked to her and turns out she was feeling a bit insecure cuz of family issues - we chatted abt it and I think we're alright now :D I'm just scared cuz I have IGCSEs in May so...
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As a sophomore myself, I've seen this in people as well as myself. Some teenagers really tend to follow trends and whatever is popular or try hard to appear cool. They sometimes also find other people's interests and passions as weird. I think its just a phase some teenagers tend to find themselves. I'd either just ignore it personally and just not express your valued interests to people who don't want to hear it or drop her as a friend.
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