Should I leave/dump my friends?
Recently my friends have been getting more and more nasty and aggressive towards me. They keep switching work partners as well, leaving me to scramble. At lunch break I get left out and they never seem to care.
Sometimes they also call me a ‘nerd’ ‘bookworm’ and sometimes even ‘ugly’! I find it offensive and mean. I just try and stick a brave face on, yet I have to almost hold back tears. Today I started to just hang out with one really loyal friend and had a great time! We didn’t need to fake anything, we just talked about music and stuff.
I feel better whenever they’re not there, but I’m a social butterfly and love to have tons of friends. Turns out I’m very naive when it comes to picking friends.
Advice?
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Sometimes they also call me a ‘nerd’ ‘bookworm’ and sometimes even ‘ugly’! I find it offensive and mean. I just try and stick a brave face on, yet I have to almost hold back tears. Today I started to just hang out with one really loyal friend and had a great time! We didn’t need to fake anything, we just talked about music and stuff.
I feel better whenever they’re not there, but I’m a social butterfly and love to have tons of friends. Turns out I’m very naive when it comes to picking friends.
Advice?
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First of all, we’re sorry you’ve been dealing with this! It sounds like your friends have been pretty unkind and insensitive toward you, and that’s absolutely not okay. If you really care about preserving these friendships, you could try to confront them about how you’ve been feeling to see if they’ll change their behavior. If they aren't receptive or don't change, it may be time to move on from them. Try spending more time with the loyal friend you had a great time with, and focus more on quality than quantity when it comes to friendships. You deserve friends who respect you and love you for who you are, not friends who insult you or tear you down!
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First off, I want you to know that you are miles ahead in your emotional awareness, and
your future self will thank you for writing this. What you're experiencing is a form of bullying, and it sounds like those people are 100% not the right friends for you right now.
Anybody who belittles you and doesn't build you up is not necessarily a friend. I think you should look at the other people in your class, look at the other people at your school, or even outside of your school, who help you, build you up, or make you feel good.
Now, I don't think you need to do a formal "dumping" of your friends. It's super natural to want to fit in at your high school or whatever setting you're in, and your body is
responding right now in a "healthy" way by wanting to be included in groups – you don't want to feel left out! However, you have the opportunity now to surround yourself with people who lift you up. What I recommend is to just stop interacting with them as much anymore. Instead, invest in friendships, either with this one loyal person or by starting to build friendships with people that you have curiosity about. It's natural to want to be part of these friend groups. You are safe. You're going to be okay, I promise you. Once you tell yourself that, once you start investing more in the people who do help lift you up, you're going to notice that you have a lot more opportunity there and growth and support for years to come. I promise you that.
View hidden comment
your future self will thank you for writing this. What you're experiencing is a form of bullying, and it sounds like those people are 100% not the right friends for you right now.
Anybody who belittles you and doesn't build you up is not necessarily a friend. I think you should look at the other people in your class, look at the other people at your school, or even outside of your school, who help you, build you up, or make you feel good.
Now, I don't think you need to do a formal "dumping" of your friends. It's super natural to want to fit in at your high school or whatever setting you're in, and your body is
responding right now in a "healthy" way by wanting to be included in groups – you don't want to feel left out! However, you have the opportunity now to surround yourself with people who lift you up. What I recommend is to just stop interacting with them as much anymore. Instead, invest in friendships, either with this one loyal person or by starting to build friendships with people that you have curiosity about. It's natural to want to be part of these friend groups. You are safe. You're going to be okay, I promise you. Once you tell yourself that, once you start investing more in the people who do help lift you up, you're going to notice that you have a lot more opportunity there and growth and support for years to come. I promise you that.
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