14 Ways to Deal with an Aquarius Man Who Is Acting Distant

Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis shares tips on what to do if an Aquarius guy pulls away

Co-authored by Stina Garbis and Devin McSween

Last Updated: January 28, 2026 Fact Checked

Your Aquarius man is most likely thoughtful, intelligent, and creative—it’s no surprise you’ve fallen for him! But his unpredictable nature and desire to run from emotions might have you spinning in circles. Sometimes an Aquarius needs time alone to think and sit in their feelings, but what are you supposed to do in the meantime? How do you deal with his sudden alienation? Don't worry, we’ve compiled lots of good ways you can deal with the distance, with help from expert astrologers and a couple's psychologist.

What to Do If an Aquarius Man Is Acting Distant

Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis suggests giving an Aquarius man space when he acts distant, as he likely has something on his mind that he needs to work out. Reach out after a few days to check in on him; if he doesn’t respond, wait for him to contact you. In the meantime, pursue your hobbies and hang out with friends.

1

Give him space.

Download Article

Letting him miss you can encourage him to close the distance. Aquarians are often outcasts. Although they thrive in group settings, they need to be alone as their contemplative thoughts weigh heavily on them. He may not know how to express his emotions, and in the process of trying to figure it out, he shuts you out. To him, emotions are just another problem to solve. Give him the space he needs to think things through.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- As Garbis explains, “If an Aquarius man is distancing himself, he has something on his mind that he needs to work out.” So, she agrees that you should “give him his space to think and allow him to have his process for dealing with life.”^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}
- Time apart can be beneficial for both of you! Giving him space will also allow you to think about how you’re feeling.
- If you live in the same space, avoid sitting in the same room as him. If you live apart, don’t text or call him for a few days.
- Know that his distancing may not always be about you. Aquarius men have a lot of conflicting emotions and traits, and that can cause inner turmoil. As professional astrologer Angel Eyedealism explains, “You need to give [Aquarius] time and space for intellectual detachment."^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Angel Eyedealism
  Professional Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Stina Garbis is a psychic astrologer with over 30 years of experience doing astrological and tarot card readings.

Angel Eyedealism is a professional astrologer with nearly 30 years of astrology experience. She specializes in relocation astrology and astrocartography.

Kyle Thomas is an astrologer and the official resident astrologer for PEOPLE Magazine. He’s also the official astrologer for @Horoscopes + @Horo.ScopesDaily.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a licensed couples psychologist with over 15 years of experience. She’s also the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice for couples.

2

Talk to him.

Download Article

Starting a conversation can make him realize what he’s missing. Being guarded, it can be difficult to reach an Aquarius man. He may be distancing himself from you unintentionally, and, in the process, ignoring you. After leaving him alone for a couple of days, extend the olive branch and reach out to him. You don’t need to make him jealous, just remind him what he’s missing. Let him remember how fun it is to talk to you.
- Check in with him and ask how he’s doing. This shows him that you care for him, and can make him realize that he’s been acting distant.
- Or, start a new conversation instead of talking about his distance. Aquarians love a friendly debate, especially one that will have them formulating the most unpopular opinion to look smart.
- For instance, bring up a political, economic, or mundane problem, like where someone should store peanut butter. Aquarians are attracted to intelligence and those who can combat them, so remind him you are that person.

3

Wait for him to reach out to you.

Download Article

Avoid bombarding him with questions, as this can scare him further away. If you text or call your Aquarius man and he doesn’t respond right away, know that that’s totally normal. Aquarians are known for being independent and aloof, and need a lot of time to themselves. They’re not heartless, though, and they will respond to you when they’re ready! While it can be hard to be left on read, stay calm and avoid the urge to reach out again. If he feels overwhelmed or suffocated, he may get more distant.
- Think of it as putting the ball in his court: you did your part to reach out, and now it’s his turn to respond back.
- If it’s been a few days and your Aquarius guy is still acting distant, licensed couples psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD says to bring it up and ask if there’s an issue. If he says no, but you still feel like something's off, she suggests saying something like:^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
  Licensed Couples Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}
  - “If there is something wrong, it would help me to know that there is and that you're not ready to talk about it right now, so I don't feel like I'm crazy and making all of this up in my head.”^{[5]
    X
    Expert Source
    
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Couples Psychologist
    
    Expert Interview}

4

Be understanding.

Download Article

Showing him you care can strengthen your relationship. Aquarius men are downright complicated. Every Aquarius man is different, but they are all undeniably moody. He may be excited one day and sad the next. Ultimately, he’s on an emotional rollercoaster and that can be distressing for him and you. As a response to his own complex emotions, he may distance himself from you. The best thing you can do to deal with his moodiness and alienation is be empathetic.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Try to comfort him with actions and words. Be there for him when and if he’s ready to share.
- Observe what triggers his sudden alienation. Was he watching a particular TV show before he went quiet? Did a conversation about his family cause a change in tone?
- Make him his favorite meal or start watching his favorite movie knowing he’ll hear it in the other room. These small, mundane actions can mean the world to an Aquarius man because they silently show him you care.
- “Aquarians are very mental and can sometimes need administrative help,” says Garbis. If your Aqua is busy, she suggests that you be a good friend and ask if you can help with household tasks, like picking up their laundry or getting them food.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}
- However, Garbis says, “If they say they got it, then you have to give them their space.”^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}

5

Avoid putting pressure on him.

Download Article

Commitment may be the reason he’s distancing. Aquarians fear the expectations of others, and what is more expected in a relationship than commitment? He may be pushing you away because he’s frightened that he’ll lose his independence. Reassure him that this is not the case by hanging out with other people and participating in activities without him. Remind him that being together doesn’t necessarily mean you’re joined at the hip, says Garbis.^{[9]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview}
- Garbis explains that Aquarius men “need to be casual about commitment and not fussy over pushing the relationship.” At the end of the day, she says he “needs a lover who can also be a friend.”^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}

6

Be honest about what you want from him.

Download Article

Aqua can get distant because he’s insecure about where he stands with you. Aquarian guys are private people who have a hard time opening up and talking about their feelings. If he’s not sure how you feel about him or if you even want him around, he might act aloof and distant. So, reassure your Aquarius man that you like him and enjoy his company. If you’re into him romantically, Eyedealism says don’t be shy about telling him you think he’s attractive!^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist

Expert Interview}
- As Eyedealism explains, “since Aquarians are so in their head, you definitely need to let them know that you're physically interested in them.”^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Angel Eyedealism
  Astrologer & Performance Artist
  
  Expert Interview}
- If you haven’t known him for long, work on building up a fun and casual friendship. Eyedealism says not to bring up anything too personal as you’re getting to know an Aquarius, as this can scare them away, too.^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Angel Eyedealism
  Astrologer & Performance Artist
  
  Expert Interview}
- Aquarians sometimes act like they don’t care because they’re feeling insecure and vulnerable, too. If they really like you but aren’t sure if you feel the same, they might grow cold and aloof to protect themselves from being hurt.
- Curious how to tell if an Aquarius man likes you? Garbis says he will spend extra time with you, start convos with you, ask you questions, tell you what’s on his mind, and touch you.^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}

7

Accept your differences.

Download Article

Trying to get him to see another side can be difficult. Aquarius men have a unique perspective on life and are set in their own ways. He is constantly thinking one step ahead, formulating opinions, and trying to rationalize the complexities of the universe. He may not be willing to admit that some of his ideas and opinions can be wrong, Garbis notes.^{[15]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview}
- An Aquarius’ detached nature could be playing a part in why they are distancing themselves. Accept that there are some things you both will never see eye-to-eye on. It’s okay to have different perspectives as long as you both equally care for each other.
- Garbis says, “Aquarians are a little odd at times to many people, so they need a partner [who] gets them enough to allow them to be who they are.” She notes that the air sign “needs a good sounding board, a good listener, and someone who they can bounce ideas off and can inspire.”^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}

8

Revisit favorite hobbies.

Download Article

Do something you love while he’s silent. If your Aqua guy is acting distant, Garbis says, “It would be good to have your own passions, hobbies, and pursuits to keep you from being so focused on the relationship.”^{[17]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview} Rekindle an old passion and keep your mind busy by diving into a favorite hobby. Let him work through his thoughts while you do something you love! Aquarians value partners who are independently motivated and have their own passions.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- For instance, start a project that you’ll be excited to share with him.
- If you don’t have a favorite hobby, try something new! Pick up an embroidery kit at a local craft store, try watercoloring, bake a cake, or enroll in a dance class. The possibilities are endless!
- When Aquarius gets distant, Garbis suggests that you “maintain a life of your own to prove that you are a high-quality, self-sufficient, and confident person, and that you don't need your Aquarius to always pick up the pieces or dictate how you live your life.”^{[19]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}

9

Focus on your own goals.

Download Article

Take time for yourself while he’s distant. There’s no telling how long he will be distant. The unpredictability of an Aquarius can seem daunting, but don’t worry! He may be distancing himself, but you still have you. Spend some time working on yourself and your own goals rather than on your relationship.
- Write down your daily, weekly, monthly, and/or yearly goals. What do you want in life? Think of goals that don’t involve him and only center around your happiness.

10

Reach out to friends.

Download Article

Deal with his absence by chatting with friends. Of course, you love hanging around your Aquarius man, but he may value some time apart to better appreciate the relationship. If you do everything together, how will you have new, exciting stories to tell him? So, go for coffee with a colleague, or catch a movie with a childhood best friend.
- Prove to yourself that you don’t need him to thrive. He is not the only person in your life. If you don’t have a friend to call, reach out to the barista you see every morning or a neighbor. You never know where you’ll find a friend!

11

Try a new activity.

Download Article

Take your mind off him and try something new. Aquarians are drawn to those with niche hobbies and interests, says Garbis.^{[20]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview} While he’s sorting through his existential thoughts, enrich your mind with something new. Write a list of things you’ve always wanted to try or explore, and take this time to follow your dreams.
- If you don’t know where to start, search for what opportunities are around you locally! Maybe there’s a rock climbing place, pottery studio, or zip-lining park nearby.

12

Ask for help if you need it.

Download Article

Opening up to someone outside of your circle can benefit you both. Everyone needs a little help once in a while. There is no shame in reaching out to a professional for guidance. Your mental health is just as important as his, so remember to take care of yourself even if he’s the one shutting you out. Your emotions and feelings are valid. Contact your doctor, insurance company, or do an online search to find a counseling service that will work best for you.^{[21]
X
Research source}
- Counselors are great not only because they’re trained to help you in every way possible, but because they have an unbiased view outside of the situation. An outsider’s perspective can be very helpful when dealing with a distant Aquarius man.

13

Accept his aloofness.

Download Article

Know that Aquarius guys are naturally independent and detached. Whether you’re dating an Aquarius guy or crushing on one, this air sign is known for his aloof and cool demeanor. He needs his personal freedom, so it’s important to understand that he’ll need his space and may act distant from time to time. As astrologer Kyle Thomas explains, “they can seem aloof or emotionally unavailable because they prefer analyzing feelings over experiencing them deeply.”^{[22]
X
Expert Source

Kyle Thomas
Astrologer

Expert Interview}
- However, Thomas is quick to add that “this detachment can make them seem unemotional, but they value genuine connections." He says, “When committed, they are loyal and devoted in their own unique way” and “can be romantic if they understand that it's important to their partner.”^{[23]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kyle Thomas
  Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview}
- Consider if your needs are compatible with your Aquarius man’s. While this sign is beyond caring and loyal, they aren’t overly emotional or traditionally romantic, and don’t need to be with their partner 24/7.
- Dr. Schewitz agrees, saying, “You have to learn how to not take [the distance] personally, because it's not about you. It's about their need for connection [and] their need for space.” She says, “Everyone has a different comfort level with how connected they want to be. It's not right or wrong.”^{[24]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
  Licensed Couples Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}

14

Stay positive.

Download Article

The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Your Aquarius man is most likely distancing himself because he is overwhelmed by his complex emotions and contradicting characteristics. Don’t be hard on yourself. Keep your chin up! While he’s taking time to sort things through, focus on your well-being. This may not be the end, and, if it is, know that you are worthy of anyone’s love.
- Practice self-care and do the things that bring you joy. Prioritize your mental and physical health: talk to friends about how you’re feeling, journal, get some fresh air, and exercise.
- How do you know if an Aquarius is done with you? Distancing himself can be one of the first signs that an Aquarius guy is no longer into you. You might also notice that he’s less engaged and interested, prioritizes others over you, and stops making plans with you.
- Remember that his distance might not be about you at all! Aquarians can get distant because they’re dealing with something personal, are feeling stressed and busy, or simply want some alone time.