10 Common Romance Scammer Phrases (& Other Tactics)

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Plus, tips on how to avoid romance scams

Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Samantha Fulton, BA

Last Updated: April 2, 2026 Fact Checked

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Romance Scammer Phrases

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Other Signs of a Scammer

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Avoiding Romance Scams

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Handling a Romance Scam

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Video

With online dating on the rise, romance scamming is becoming more and more prevalent. But don’t worry, we’ve put together a list of 10 key phrases to watch out for when you’re talking to a new match. Plus, wikiHow partnered with a relationship coach and a PhD student in text and discourse for expert insights on common romance scamming tactics, how to avoid them, and what to do if you end up in a romance scam.

Red Flag Phrases in Romance Scams

“I’m in love with you”: an immediate declaration of love
“I’m in a bad situation, and I need your help”: stories about financial hardship
“Let’s keep this relationship between us”: a need for secrecy
“I’m stationed overseas”: a reason for being out of the country
“Once I have the money, we can start a life together”: conditional promises of long-term commitment

Section 1 of 4:

Romance Scammer Phrases to Look Out For

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“I’m in love with you.” Romance scammers often make rapid declarations of love to create an overwhelming and immediate sense of intimacy. Relationship coach Maya Diamond, MA, cautions, “If you haven't met for the first time and they’re saying ‘I love you,’ I would say 99% of the time that person is a scammer.”^{[1]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} Romance scammers may also use these affectionate phrases early on:
- “I think you’re my soulmate.”
- “It feels like we’re meant to be together.”
- “I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Maya Diamond, MA, is a dating and relationship coach based in Berkeley, CA. She has over 15 years of experience.

Israel Vieira Pereira, PhD, is a PhD Student in Text & Discourse at Unisul University.
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“I’m in a bad situation, and I need your help.” Romance scammers will often tell you about fake financial misfortunes to gain your sympathy. This often means they’re getting ready to ask you for money.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source

Federal Trade Commission
Website with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade Commisson

Go to source} Make sure you also keep an eye out for these similar phrases:
- “I was just in a horrible accident, and I lost everything.”
- “I’m going to lose everything unless I can come up with money fast.”
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“Let’s keep this relationship between us.” Romance scammers will try to isolate you from friends and family to prevent raising suspicions. They want you to keep the relationship secret so your loved ones can’t warn you.^{[3]
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Research source} Romance scammers may also use these isolating phrases:
- “I don’t trust your family.” / “I don’t trust your friends.”
- “I only trust you.”
- “This relationship can just be our secret.”
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“I’m in the military and stationed overseas.” According to PhD student in text and discourse Israel Vieira Pereira, “Scammers usually say that they don't reside in the same country as you.”^{[4]
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Expert Source

Israel Vieira Pereira, PhD
PhD Student in Text & Discourse, Unisul University

Expert Interview} Romance scammers tend to provide convenient excuses that will allow them to avoid meeting in person. Some other circumstances romance scammers might list:
- “I work on an oil rig.”
- “I’m stuck in [foreign country] helping my family.”
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“I would FaceTime, but I’m in a remote area with bad internet.” Romance scammers will make excuses not to video call so you can’t see their face, because they don’t actually look like the photos on their dating or social media profile. If they’re avoiding video calls after you’ve been talking for weeks or months, it should be cause for concern. Romance scammers might also use these excuses:
- “I’m traveling for work and can’t video call.”
- “My camera is broken, so I can’t FaceTime.”
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“I wish we could meet in person, but I’m always traveling for work.” According to Diamond, “If someone is talking to you for a month or a week, and doesn’t want to meet you in person, that’s a big clue that they could be a scammer.”^{[5]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} Just like with video calls, romance scammers will make any excuse not to meet in person.
- “I’m stuck overseas, so I can’t see you in person.”
- “I wish we could meet in person, but I can’t afford the flight home.”
If you’re on a dating app, romance scammers will want to move the conversation off of it as soon as possible. This is because dating apps and websites have security measures in place to help detect scammers. To avoid detection, romance scammers will give you their phone number or ask to talk on platforms like WhatsApp instead.^{[6]
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“I’ve never met someone like you.” To build a sense of trust and intimacy, romance scammers will usually start lovebombing. Romance scammers will use information you’ve revealed in order to make you feel special and to make the relationship seem perfect for you.^{[7]
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Research source} Romance scammers may also use these lovebombing phrases:
- “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met.”
- “I’m so lucky I found you.”
- “I’ve never met someone as understanding as you.”
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“If you really care about me, you’ll help me.” Romance scammers will try to use the trust they’ve built to get you to give them money. These financial requests usually hinge on a guilt trip and pressure to prove your affection to them.^{[8]
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Research source} Romance scammers may also use these manipulative phrases:
- “I’m counting on you to get me out of this.”
- “You’re my only hope. My family needs this money.”
- “If you don’t help me now, it’s going to get much worse.”
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“Once I have the money, we can start a life together.” Diamond says, “Another huge clue is when someone says they're in another country for work and that they need money in order to get back to the US to come and meet you.”^{[9]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} Romance scammers use promises of commitment and meeting in person to trick you into sending them money. Other promises might include:
- “Once I get through this, we can get married.”
- “I can finally see you once you send me the money.”

Section 2 of 4:

Other Common Signs of a Romance Scam

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Romance scammers use their profile to create an idealized persona who appears trustworthy and appealing. If their photos appear too polished, or their account is vague about personal details, you might be dealing with a fake profile.^{[10]
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Romance scammers will sometimes schedule an in-person meeting to prevent arousing suspicions about not seeing each other face-to-face, and then cancel for an unavoidable emergency. This can be to prolong the online relationship and to introduce an excuse for them to ask for money.^{[11]
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Their story is inconsistent. Sometimes romance scammers are unable to keep their story straight. This might mean their reason for needing money changes, or they say their occupation is something different than what they originally told you.^{[12]
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- Something to keep in mind: Romance scammers may attempt to gaslight you if you address their discrepancies. This is another major red flag.
Romance scammers will sometimes ask for nude photos with the intent of extortion. In order to get their victims to send them money, they might threaten to post private photos on social media.^{[13]
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Avoid Romance Scams

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Dr. Pereira warns to “avoid sending any personal information to people you are not familiar with offline” at all costs.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Israel Vieira Pereira, PhD
PhD Student in Text & Discourse, Unisul University

Expert Interview} Don’t share any private information with someone you haven’t had a face-to-face conversation with unless you’ve confirmed that they are who they say they are.
Someone you’ve just met on a dating app should not be asking you for money. Regardless of what they say their situation is, Diamond advises, “No matter who it is, whether they say that they liked you, no matter how much they say that they love you, don't give someone money that you've met online.”^{[15]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
If this is a real person, you should be able to find other information or social media profiles that line up with their dating profile. Dr. Pereira tells us that reverse image searching photos from the potential scammer’s profile might help you determine if they’re a real person or if they’ve stolen their images.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Israel Vieira Pereira, PhD
PhD Student in Text & Discourse, Unisul University

Expert Interview}
If this is someone you can trust, they should not be avoiding a face-to-face conversation for prolonged periods of time. It’s okay to start out with texting or messaging, but to ensure you’re dealing with a real and trustworthy person, it is best to request a video call to confirm their identity.

Section 4 of 4:

What to Do If You’re In a Romance Scam

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If you’ve realized you’re being victimized by a romance scammer, do not continue to engage with them. While you may be tempted to “outsmart” a scammer, it is best to stop contact as soon as you recognize what’s going on.
If you have fallen victim to a romance scam, report it to the Internet Crime Complaint Center or the Federal Trade Commission. Filing a report can help further investigations and prevent romance scammers from victimizing other people going forward.
If you have already wired money, please contact your bank as soon as possible to see if your funds can be recovered and to inquire about what to do next to protect your payment information.