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QuestionHow can I politely turn down a hug during the pandemic?
Tami ClaytorTami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
Etiquette CoachThat's as simple as nicely saying, "I don't feel comfortable hugging at this particular time, can we elbow bump instead?" You could also wave, blow an air kiss, or try another friendly greeting. -
QuestionHow do I politely tell people I've hugged or shaken hands with in the past that I no longer want to have physical contact when meeting or saying goodbye?
Community AnswerIf you're not really a direct person, drop subtle hints that you don't really like physical contact. Simply say, "Sometimes I'm not in the mood for hugging and stuff. I like personal space." Being passive aggressive at times is totally okay. If they don't get the message, be direct. Say, "I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but I'd like it if we stopped hugging and stuff." And remember, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Practice saying what you're going to say and remain calm even if they don't take it well. Say, "It's not anything personal. I just want to stop physical contact." -
QuestionI was pressured to hug someone and chose to leave. Was that the right decision?
Robert ClaxtonCommunity AnswerYou were right to remove yourself from the situation. It is important to prioritize your comfort and boundaries. -
QuestionI used to enjoy hugging everyone, but now I prefer only hugging my mom. How can I politely tell my dad that I no longer want to hug without upsetting them?
Robert ClaxtonCommunity AnswerYou could suggest alternative greetings to your dad, such as fist-bumps or handshakes. If they continue to initiate hugs, you may need to gently but firmly communicate your preference for not hugging.
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QuestionHow can I avoid a hug from someone I consider a fake friend?
Robert ClaxtonCommunity AnswerIn a situation where all other options fail and you wish to completely avoid a hug, you might consider physically removing yourself from the immediate vicinity.
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QuestionMy mother expects daily hugs to feel loved, but I am no longer comfortable with this. What strategies can I use to address her expectations?
Robert ClaxtonCommunity AnswerYou can explain your feelings clearly and respectfully. In my experience, setting boundaries by communicating your reasons can lead to a resolution. Remember that your comfort and bodily autonomy are important.
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