The Immortal Snail Game
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You get a million dollars and immortality. The catch? An immortal, super-intelligent snail got the same, and it's slowly crawling towards you. One touch, and you die. It always knows your location. What's your plan to survive for eternity?
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Immortal Snail Strategies
The "Immortal Snail" thought experiment is a classic for a reason—it forces you to confront the limits of human ingenuity against a relentless, patient, and infinitely intelligent threat. It's a test of long-term planning, resource management, and psychological endurance, especially when immortality is thrown into the mix.
Here are some strategies to consider when facing an unyielding challenge:
- Contain the Snail: One common strategy to fend off the will of the Immortal Snail is to simply contain the snail, such that it has no viable means of reaching you within the timespan of at least a couple of centuries, which should afford you plenty of time to do as you please with your one million dollars. Trap it in a mason jar, launch it into space on a rocket ship, bury it in a marble crypt–anything that would pose a substantial challenge for a mollusc with mostly soft tissue. The main weakness with this strategy, however, is that given the immortal timeline of both you and the snail, whatever containment method will eventually erode away or be slowly worked away by a persistent snail, giving way to your small but mighty pursuer.
- Repel the Snail: Another common strategy pursued to avoid the snail is to repel the snail. This can be thought of as inverse-containment. Possibilities involve living on a salt flat, building yourself an acid moat, or working at an Italian restaurant (the frequent employ of garlic would repel the snail). However, this plan has several weaknesses. For one, you'd have to limit yourself to environments that are not friendly to snails but potentially not friendly to humans either. Additionally, an immortal snail with enough pain tolerance and willpower could conceivably simply work through your defenses given its eternal existence.
- Become Friends (or At Least Allies) with the Snail: Those of a more pacifist inclination may find themselves drawn to strategies where you negotiate a truce with the snail, instead of living in endless strife. Given that the snail is super-intelligent, it may be possible to communicate with the snail. This opens up the possibility of getting to know the snail and understanding its intentions. The snail may not be ultimately interested in killing you after all, and a good compromise seems preferable to an eternity of looking over your shoulder. The weakness of this strategy comes from the fact that it relies on a couple of key assumptions, namely that the snail can communicate, will communicate, and is open to the idea of being friends or allies. Additionally, it cannot ensure that the whims of the snail will not be changed, such that one day it decides that you must perish after all.
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Embrace Mortality with the Snail: Instead of attempting to change the circumstances, change your mindset. In all the other strategies, striving to live forever will inevitably ensure that your forever comes at the cost of constant paranoia, which hardly seems like a joyful existence in the first place. If you can accept that one day we must all return to the earth (and perhaps immortality would drive you to insanity eventually anyway), then all you have to do is get the snail a reasonable distance from you and simply live your life to the fullest. Live every day feeling okay if your immortal snail friend paid you a visit on the very next day.
If you've got an idea so out of the box that it doesn't belong to any of the strategy categories above, then put it to the test! Submit your strategy above and see if you can escape the snail's inevitable touch!


