Physical Contact on a First Date: How Much Is Appropriate?
11/04/25 6:00pm
View hidden comment
This post was sourced from submitted reader questions and posted by wikiHow Editorial Staff.
wikiHow forums are moderated for quality. Learn more about our moderation policy here.
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date really depends on the people involved. But generally speaking, light touches (like pats on the arm or shoulder or high-fives), hand-holding, and hugging before and/or after the date are considered acceptable. Whether or not you and your date kiss on a first date is largely up to you both, but it's best not to expect it.
If you want to have more physical contact with your date, test the waters by initiating light, casual touches and noting your date's body language. For example, do they shift away when your knee brushes against theirs? If so, they probably need to move slower. It's not necessarily a red flag if your date doesn't want to touch at first; they may just need more time to warm up.
If the date comes to a close and you're not sure if you should kiss them or not, it doesn't hurt to be direct and ask them if they'd like to kiss. If they say no, take it gracefully and assure them there's no pressure. If they say yes—well, there's your answer!
View hidden comment
If you want to have more physical contact with your date, test the waters by initiating light, casual touches and noting your date's body language. For example, do they shift away when your knee brushes against theirs? If so, they probably need to move slower. It's not necessarily a red flag if your date doesn't want to touch at first; they may just need more time to warm up.
If the date comes to a close and you're not sure if you should kiss them or not, it doesn't hurt to be direct and ask them if they'd like to kiss. If they say no, take it gracefully and assure them there's no pressure. If they say yes—well, there's your answer!
I like to greet a date with a warm, friendly hug, almost like a big brotherly hug. Nothing lingering, nothing sexual, just a nice warm hug. It sets the tone for the date and it also says, "Hey, physical touching might happen," at least in a friendly way. Maybe the date will end with a kiss, maybe it won't.
View hidden comment
If someone touches you, like on your back or your arm, that's an indication that things are probably going well.
View hidden comment
What’s on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.
Ask a Question
