My mother doesn’t think I’m trans
I told my mom I’m trans a few days ago and she said she doesn’t think I’m trans and she even found an article about how autistic people may struggle with their gender identity. She doesn’t even know what’s going on in my mind yet she acts like she does. What do I do?
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It sounds like your mom isn’t being as accepting or affirming of your trans identity as you’d hoped. Coming out is a process, and sometimes other peoples’ understanding of your coming out is going to be a process as well. Remember, there’s nothing at all wrong with you—it’s more about her need to turn her mind toward acceptance and openness.
To help this process along, try pointing her to all the resources that you can find. For example, organizations like GLAAD, PFLAG, and a variety of others will have reading materials that are meant to help the families and friends of LGBTQ people learn how to best support them. However, it’s also important to remember that it may take some time for your mom to grow and evolve, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you—you’re perfect the way you are.
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To help this process along, try pointing her to all the resources that you can find. For example, organizations like GLAAD, PFLAG, and a variety of others will have reading materials that are meant to help the families and friends of LGBTQ people learn how to best support them. However, it’s also important to remember that it may take some time for your mom to grow and evolve, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you—you’re perfect the way you are.
We're sorry to hear that your mom responded this way. Try sitting down and talking to her again so you can explain what's going on in your mind, if you think that would help. Remember, just because she doesn't think you're trans doesn't mean that you aren't. Hopefully, she'll come to accept your identify, but she may need time to process or come to terms with it. In the meantime, it can be really helpful to build a support network of friends and allies who you can lean on. If you've come out to any other friends or family members, talk to them about what's going on, or join an LGBTQ+ support group online.
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First off, I would make sure that you have a safe space outside of your home. No matter what your coming out situation is, and how you're bringing the conversation to your family, we want to make sure that young people are safe and have the resources they need.
Secondly, I would recommend connecting with queer communities and reaching out to other young people who have come out to their parents to get feedback and real-world examples of their experience and how their parents reacted. Additionally, if you know any parents of queer people who have been accepting and would be open to having a dialogue with you, this could be a helpful way to glean an understanding of how they view queerness and how they can view your queerness.
I would also say exposure to media and exposure to incorporating queer life into your home can help with normalizing it for your parents and for your family. But, I also want to be clear that it shouldn't be a kid's "job" to get their loved ones to accept their queerness. I think that it's important to make sure that kids don't feel like this is on their backs. If your parents simply don't understand, then make sure that you have a safe space with people who do understand you, who do get you, who want to help you, and who can make sure that you have the mental health resources you may need. At the end of the day, it isn't a queer person's job to make sure that parents do A-Z in order to understand this, but hopefully you can help empower them to see that they can take initiative on their own to understand us as well, and recognize us as people.
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Secondly, I would recommend connecting with queer communities and reaching out to other young people who have come out to their parents to get feedback and real-world examples of their experience and how their parents reacted. Additionally, if you know any parents of queer people who have been accepting and would be open to having a dialogue with you, this could be a helpful way to glean an understanding of how they view queerness and how they can view your queerness.
I would also say exposure to media and exposure to incorporating queer life into your home can help with normalizing it for your parents and for your family. But, I also want to be clear that it shouldn't be a kid's "job" to get their loved ones to accept their queerness. I think that it's important to make sure that kids don't feel like this is on their backs. If your parents simply don't understand, then make sure that you have a safe space with people who do understand you, who do get you, who want to help you, and who can make sure that you have the mental health resources you may need. At the end of the day, it isn't a queer person's job to make sure that parents do A-Z in order to understand this, but hopefully you can help empower them to see that they can take initiative on their own to understand us as well, and recognize us as people.
Im straight, but my freinds have this problem. For them, it’s that their parents think that just because theyre not as old as them, they are just joking. But, im sorry, idk what to do.
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What I would do is tell her "Hey, I know you don't think I am trans or it's in my head, but I am, and I hope it doesn't change our dynamic. Also, you don't know what's in my mind so please don't act like it." And try to tell her when the mood is calm and try to be respectful. Hopefully that helps.
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I'm sorry to hear that she's behaving this way. I understand that coming out is difficult, and it can be even harder when someone challenges your identity. From my own experience.I suggest gathering a committee of people you trust—friends, teachers, and others who can support you. Here are some LGBTQAI+ help lines:The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386
The LGBT National Hotline: (888) 843-4564
Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860
There are other lines I found these on https://pflag.org/resource/support-hotlines/
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The LGBT National Hotline: (888) 843-4564
Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860
There are other lines I found these on https://pflag.org/resource/support-hotlines/
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