Am I Being Love Bombed?

Take this quiz to see if you're being manipulated!

Love bombing feels great at first, but that's the point: to get you to let your guard down, which makes you vulnerable to manipulation. Of course, not everything is love bombing, but that's why it's important to be able to tell the love from the bombing, and we're here to help.

Answer a few quick questions about your experience, and we'll tell you if we think you're being love-bombed.

An illustration of a man sending affectionate texts to a woman.

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Questions Overview

1. How do you feel when you receive affection from the person you're seeing?
  1. Flattered. It might be a little embarrassing, but it's nice.
  2. Uncomfortable. They definitely push it.
  3. Normal or at ease. I like spending time with them.
  4. Something else.
2. Do they ever give you unprompted gifts?
  1. Yes, often, and I feel weird accepting them.
  2. Sometimes, but not a lot.
  3. Not really.
3. How often do they initiate communication with you?
  1. Multiple times a day.
  2. Once or twice a day.
  3. Less than once a day.
4. Have you ever tried to talk to them about how they interact with you?
  1. Not really. I don't think it's that big of a problem.
  2. No. I'm afraid of how they'll react.
  3. I've tried to bring it up, but I didn't feel heard.
  4. I did, and they reacted negatively.
  5. I did, and they seemed to really listen.
5. How much affection do you usually expect out of your relationships?
  1. Lots! I'm an affectionate person.
  2. Some. I like affection, but only in certain contexts.
  3. Not a lot. I'm not a super affectionate person, and have my own ways of showing love.
6. Do you ever feel like your conversations with them are a little too personal?
  1. Often. They tend to get pretty personal, and I don't like it.
  2. Sometimes, sure, but I don't mind it at all.
  3. Now and then, and it's sort of uncomfortable.
  4. Rarely.
7. If you were to cancel your plans with them right now, how would they likely react?
  1. They'd probably mope and brood, or get testy, like I'm neglecting them.
  2. They'd probably try to get me to reconsider or rework my plans for them.
  3. They'd probably be pretty chill about it, I think.
8. When you think about your relationship with them, you feel like...
  1. It moved too fast. Like we were in a rush to get close.
  2. It moved at a normal pace, mostly. It felt natural.
  3. It moved pretty slowly. It took a long time to get to this point.
  4. It was pretty uneven and chaotic. Slow sometimes, fast others.
9. Have they ever lied to you, or hidden things from you?
  1. Frequently. I can't really trust them.
  2. Sometimes, but nobody's perfect.
  3. No, or not that I know of.
10. How do they usually act when you hang out in a group with them?
  1. They're always trying to get me to go off alone with them.
  2. They act protective or clingy, like the other people are a threat.
  3. They act pretty balanced and interact with everyone, not just me.
  4. They kind of ignore me and mostly interact with the other people with us.
11. How much effort and energy would you say you put into the relationship, generally?
  1. More than usual, but I don't mind.
  2. More than usual, but I feel like I'm just trying to keep up.
  3. About an average amount. The same I bring to any relationship.
  4. Less than usual.

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What is love bombing?

Love bombing is when someone gives an overwhelming amount of affection in order to get something from another person. It's a serious manipulation tactic, and being on the lookout for it is the first step to keeping yourself safe. We talked to mental health and relationship experts to tell you more:


  • Life coach Renee Slansky tells us that "Love bombing is when they're too full on, and it's just too good to be true. They're either going to scam you, or they're just a toxic person, in general."[1]
  • Relationship therapist Alexandra Solomon, PhD, offers some perspective: "Is it really love bombing, or are you just accustomed to crumbs and therefore this feast that you're being offered feels actually really confusing?"[2]
  • Relationships coach John Keegan explains, "The very strongest form of seduction is when someone comes on very strong, and it displays a lot of interest and intention, and then suddenly goes cold and then withdraws affection and attention, and that can create obsession in someone..."[3]
  • Clinical psychologist Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS, tells us to watch out for "those who are going out of their way to love-bomb you. They are the ones who will stop at nothing to win your graces and your hand."[4]

Want to learn more?

For more information on love bombing, check out these resources:

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References

  1. ↑ Renee Slansky. Life Coach. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ Alexandra Solomon, PhD. Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ John Keegan. Relationships Coach. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview