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So you lay out the issue, the problem, the goal - in logical order. That is how a lot of men need to hear it. Then work on the ‘how’ to improve that dynamic with constructive comments also emphasizing your thoughts on the subject matter - and talking through it together taking each other’s thoughts in is what counts.
Like if he says A and say “oh how could you say that and I don’t like that”.
That right there is not constructive… it gives him no direction regarding what you think is a better solution or what you’d like better and why you think that.
When you are not being proactively constructive - he takes it upon himself to take control and “solve” the problem without your input. Don’t be passive when he does that - be Proactive and interactive. Expect to be heard.
Aside from that - this thing with the slightest misstep or word from
You has him enraged - is WRONG. It is an ABUSIVE way to Control you. Stop enabling it and stand up for yourself.
His temper cannot intimidate you into silence. If that happens again - do NOT apologize for his fit. Simply tell him you do not like the way he reacts and talks to you in those moments and you need space for a few days. Let him know when he can communicate calmly and respectfully - you will listen, but then he needs to listen to you. Say goodnight - period.
Set that boundary - he will never respect you if you don’t.