Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is also an award-winning and best-selling author. Her latest book, “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues", details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each.

Education

University of Pennsylvania, MSW
University of Florida, BA, Health/Sociology

Professional Achievements

Published "Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues" in 2024
Published “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” in 2010
Published “Thriving with ADHD” in 2018, winner of the Indie Book Award and Firebird Book Award
Co-hosted advice show on LA Talk Radio, currently hosts livestream show on Balance by Nature
Columnist for Psychology Today

Certifications & Organizations

Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Spokesperson for Brillia, ADHD Awareness
Psychotherapist Consultant for Cognitive Leap

Philosophy

Kelli strives to provide both immediate, short-term solutions and long-term, in-depth care for a wide variety of clients. Her strengths include helping clients develop better self-esteem, facilitating open and constructive communication among family members, and working with romantic partners to address underlying causes of dissatisfaction in a relationship.

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Forum Comments (26)

I've been bullied and it hurts what should I do?

Being bullied is really difficult, shameful, and can be traumatic. First, please acknowledge that it's ok that you may feel hurt, angry, confused, sad, and/or embarrassed. All those feelings are normal and understandable. Second, understand that bullying says more about the other person than you. There is a saying, "hurt people hurt people." In other words, the person/people who bully are typically very sad/lonely/hurt people themselves, and sadly, they are expressing it the wrong way. Just because someone says something about us doesn't make it true. Your job will be to recognize your worth and not make it dependent on anyone else. Finally, even though bullying is painful, it can also make us stronger, more resilient, and empathetic to others. Remember, no matter what, you are appreciated and valued ♥️

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.

What are some different ways to say I love you?

"You mean the world to me."
"You're my favorite."
"You're so special to me."
"143" (143 is a special code used by Mr. Rogers to represent "I love you", based on the number of letters in each word: 1 letter for "I," 4 for "love," and 3 for "you").
"I feel so strongly for you."

How to let someone down

I think the kindest approach is to be honest and direct. That way, you’re not leading the person on with false hope, excuses, or mixed signals. You might say something like: “Thank you so much for asking me out—you seem like a really great person. I just don’t feel a romantic connection, but I truly wish you the best.”

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.

How can I motivate myself more?

Lack of motivation can be a few different things. Sometimes, lack of motivation can be depression in hiding. So first, we want to make sure you're mentally healthy, and a good therapist can help with this.

Other times, lack of motivation can be because we get intimidated by too big a goal. If that’s the case, I’d suggest replacing your goals with smaller ones. For example, if your goal was to lose 50 pounds, instead of saying you’ll work out daily for 2 hours and give up all sugar, start with just walking 20 minutes a few times a week. As you progress, you can add more things. This can feel more reasonable and less intimidating than doing everything at once.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.

What does "negging" mean? Examples?

Negging is a subtle form of emotional manipulation where someone uses backhanded compliments or mild insults to undermine your confidence, often in dating or social settings. It’s meant to create self-doubt so you seek the other person's approval. You can recognize it when a comment makes you feel "off"—like you're being complimented and insulted at the same time. Trust your gut: if someone’s words consistently leave you feeling less secure, it may be negging.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.

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Q&A Comments (199)

How do I support my husband?

Everyone's different, so ask your husband how you can support him best. Above all, let him know that you're in this relationship together and you'll always be there for him.

How can I get my husband to stop looking at other women?

It's natural for humans to look at other humans. However, if it's overt, I would talk to your husband and communicate that it makes you uncomfortable.

How do I tell my partner I want to move?

Sit down with your partner and explain that you have something important you want to talk about. Then, let them know that you want to move. If you're worried about their reaction, you can sandwich the idea between other positive things. For example you could say, "I've really loved living here, but I think this job opportunity could be really great for me. Moving might be hard at first, but we're strong and I think we can do it."

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Co-authored Articles (291)

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Love Language Quiz

You know the story: one partner says “I think you're amazing,” when the other just wants them to unload the dishwasher. What happens when two people love each other, but they just don’t show it in the way their par...

Am I In Love Quiz

Is it a deep friendship, a crush, or something more? True love can be overwhelming, confusing—and totally incredible. So how do you know if you’ve been struck by cupid’s bow? With a little self-reflection, you...

Am I Ready For A Relationship Quiz

Relationships offer fun, comfort, and companionship, but how do you know when you’re ready to commit? Maybe you’ve been burned in the past, or maybe this would be your first serious relationship. Either way, we love...

Men Type Quiz

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How to Compliment a Guy's Manhood: 14 Sexy Compliments

You’re enjoying sex with your man and want to let him know how much you like his manhood, but how do you compliment such a sensitive area? There are a lot of phrases you can use to let him know he’s got the goods, an...

Am I Toxic Quiz

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Whether you need to lay low or simply want to be left alone, disappearing might sound like a good idea. Running away usually isn’t necessary and most problems are solvable with help. Instead of vanishing completely, co...

12+ Cute and Unique Ways to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

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How to Talk to Your Girlfriend about Sex—and Turn Her On

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How to Have Great Sex in the Morning

The best positions and steamy tips for a sexual morning wakeup Sex is a great way to unwind at the end of a long day, but there’s no need to save all the fun for nighttime! If you and your partner wake up feeling perky...

How to Find Your Doppelgӓnger (or Twin)

Ever wondered if there was someone out there who looked just like you? We’ve all heard the urban legend that there are 6 people out there who look just like us—but how, exactly, can you find your identical stranger? ...

How to Get a Friend or Family Member to Move Out

Evict someone from your home yourself or through the legal systemHas your friend or relative overstayed their welcome at your house? Kicking someone you know and love out can seem like a pretty daunting task, but the goo...

Role Playing With Your Spouse: Sexy Scenarios, Fulfilling Fantasies, & More

Set the stage for fun and excitement using this simple guideRole playing with your partner is a great way to bring a little spark to your relationship and get you excited about your sex life again. It's natural to be a l...

How to Respond to "What's Up?"

Example replies for "what's up?" in any situationYou’re minding your own business when a “What’s up?” is thrown your way. You may hear this friendly phrase from a friend, crush, coworker, or stranger. They want t...

What is Dark Psychology?

Learn the psychological tricks used by manipulators to get what they want Dark psychology refers to a set of manipulative personality traits that are comorbid with one another. The main personality traits required for a ...

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