Jay Reid, LPCC

Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor

Jay Reid is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA. He specializes in helping clients who have survived a narcissistic parent or partner. Treatment focuses upon helping clients identify and challenge self-diminishing beliefs as a result of narcissistic abuse. Jay holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and an MS in Clinical Psychology from Penn State University.

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What are the telltale signs of a narcissist?

People have written a lot about the kind of cycle of narcissistic abuse in romantic relationships: there's usually a very intense initial stage of idealization where the you may feel as though the other person is your soulmate, and then once the bond has been established, a gradual and subtle campaign of criticism and derision can occur. As that proceeds, the relationship can fall into a phase of devaluation where it's very clear that the narcissistic person regards the partner as a second-class citizen, until finally they discard their partner, often by breaking up.

Q&A Comments (41)

Why do parents treat my siblings differently?

Each person is unique, so the reasons for the way your parents treat each of you might be different. However, if your parents are always blaming you for the family's problems, that's all wrong. That's called scapegoating, and you need to remember that you are not the problem.

How do you report sibling abuse?

Try to talk with your parents about it. If they invalidate you or minimize the problem, find another adult you do trust and confide in them. Even another friend can help. The ultimate goal is to inform a well-adjusted, courageous enough adult about what's going on so they can properly intervene.

Is it okay to end friendships?

Yes! Remind yourself that it's good to consider ending toxic relationships. That means you're doing something that prioritizes your well-being, which you could consider explaining to the friend. After that, as long as safety isn't in place, there probably isn't a wrong way to end that toxic friendship.

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Co-authored Articles (53)

How to Beat a Narcissist

Take your power back from manipulative narcissistsIf you’re dealing with someone who’s arrogant, self-centered, and manipulative, getting them to understand your perspective or fight fair can be an uphill battle. Whi...

Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back

Show your narcissistic ex what they’re missing and they’ll beg you to take them back If you were in a relationship with someone who is vain, egotistical, attention-seeking, and lacks empathy, you might consider them ...

How to Spot & Deal with a Narcissistic Woman

Identify signs of narcissism & protect yourself from manipulationWe’re all narcissistic from time to time, but some people are egoistic to a manipulative degree. Wondering if you’re dealing with a woman with a toxic ...

How to Make a Narcissist Totally Obsessed with You

Expert tips to ensure they can’t stop thinking about youIf you want to attract someone who’s a little on the vain side, we're here to help you reel them in. Keep in mind that not everyone who craves admiration or who...

12 Ways to Break a Narcissist's Heart

Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is characterized by a lack of empathy, an overinflated ego, and a sense of entitlement. Only a qualified psychologist can diagnose someone with NPD. However, if you think someon...

How to Biblically Deal with a Narcissist

Learn how God says to handle selfish and manipulative peopleDid you know that your faith in God can help you navigate a relationship with a narcissist? Well, it can! Narcissism is a psychological condition that results i...

How Does a Narcissist React to Being Blocked? 11 Things to Expect

What can you expect from a narcissist when you block them or go no contact? Blocking a narcissist may be a great move if you want to improve your mental health and overall happiness, although their reaction may be a bit ...

11 Ways to Drive a Narcissist Nuts

If you’re dealing with someone who’s an expert at mind games and manipulation, it can be pretty hard to rattle them. But by using their behavior against them, you can turn the tables and regain your power. Check out ...

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

Someone with narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, may act arrogant, entitled, selfish, and unempathetic. NPD is a mental disorder that can only be diagnosed and treated by a qualified professional. If you think som...

How to

Deal With an Abusive Sibling

Dealing with an abusive sibling is a serious matter. Sibling abuse can impact your relationship with your family, friends, peers, coworkers, and yourself. Sibling abuse is often explained away as sibling rivalry, but the...

Should My Boyfriend Tell Me What to Wear? 3 Reasons Why He Shouldn't

If your boyfriend has been telling you what you can and can't wear, you may be feeling confused, taken aback, and hurt. It's never okay for anyone to tell you what you can wear, let alone your boyfriend. Everyone has the...

How to Ignore a Narcissist & How They’ll Respond

Expert-backed tips for moving on from a toxic personSomeone with narcissistic traits may seem charming and polite at first, but if their behavior starts negatively affecting your well-being, it may be time to take the po...

How to Handle a Toxic Relationship with Your Adult Child

Is your adult child toxic? And if they are…what do you do about it?Not getting along with your child can ruin your day, whether they’re 6 or a full-grown adult. But sometimes conflicts with adult children can feel li...

How to Cut a Toxic Friend Out of Your Life

Leaving a toxic friend behind or gradually let them goEnding any type of friendship can be difficult, but it might be necessary if you’ve been dealing with a toxic friend for some time. Unfortunately, toxic people can ...

11 Ways to Confuse and Disarm a Narcissist

If someone in your life is egotistical, lacks empathy, and has an inflated sense of self, you may consider them to be narcissistic. It's important to note, though, that just because someone displays narcissistic tendenci...

Do You Think Your Girlfriend Hates You? 13 Reasons Why She Might Seem Upset

Your relationship seems different, and now you're worried your girlfriend hates you. You're probably feeling really hurt right now, but you're not alone. We’re here to help you figure out what’s wrong and the best wa...

The Best Way to React When Someone Calls You Narcissistic

Learn how to respond if someone says you’re a narcissist If someone called you a narcissist, you’re probably wondering why, how to reply, and whether they were right to call you that. It’s painful to be given such ...

Relationships Between Narcissists and Empaths: 21 Stages

The toxic twists and turns of the narcissist-empath relationshipNarcissists are naturally drawn to empaths because an empath is everything a narcissist is not. A narcissist has no empathy while an empath has profound emp...

How to Destroy a Narcissist in Court: 11 Effective Tips

Would you like justice so you can release yourself from the control of a narcissist? With proper legal counsel and a solid action plan, that's entirely possible. All you need to do is collect evidence, reach out to allie...

How to Get a Narcissist to Tell the Truth

Egotistic people sometimes lie to cover up their behavior or protect their image, and it can be frustrating when they won't admit the truth. Luckily, there are a number of clever and subtle ways to make someone like this...

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Co-authored Articles (53)