Dr Jessamy Hibberd Website

Dr Jessamy Hibberd

Chartered Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Jessamy Hibberd, DClinPsy, is a chartered clinical psychologist, author, and speaker based in the United Kingdom. With over 16 years of experience, Dr. Jessamy specializes in working one-on-one with individuals experiencing common mental health problems like anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and self-esteem. Dr. Jessamy has authored ten books, including The Overthinking Cure, How to Overcome Trauma and Find Yourself Again, and The Imposter Cure. She also works as a media psychologist, was the headline speaker at TEDx University of Nicosia, and regularly speaks at businesses, charities, and universities, including JPMorgan Chase & Co, Visa, and Mishcon de Reya LLP. Dr. Jessamy has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Royal Holloway, University of London.

Education

  • Doctorate, Clinical Psychology, Royal Holloway, University of London

Professional Achievements

  • 5-star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads
  • Has written ten books, including the international best-selling The Imposter Cure, described by The Sunday Times as the 'definitive guide to understanding and beating imposter syndrome'
  • Latest book, The Overthinking Cure: How to Free Your Mind and Focus on What Really Matters, has been featured in magazines, newspapers, podcasts, and on the radio

Certifications & Organizations

  • 2021 PgCert in Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Wellbeing: multi-disciplinary practice, Merit, The Tavistock and Portman
  • 2010 PgDip in CBT, Merit, Institute of Psychiatry, King's College London
  • 2009 Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, Royal Holloway University of London
  • 2004 MSc Health Psychology, Merit, City University
  • 2002 BSc (Hons) Psychology, University of Newcastle Upon Tyne

Favorite Piece of Advice

I believe we should be thinking and caring for our minds in the same way we do for our bodies. My motto is "It's what we do every day that makes the biggest difference. It’s small steps that lead to the greatest changes."

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Forum Comments (2)

What does self-sabotage in relationships look like?
One piece of advice I give all partners is to remember that you're not a mind reader. You can't ever know what someone's thinking unless they tell you. Sometimes people will sabotage because they'll act first to avoid rejection, but that rejection was not even in the cards. They had just been fearful of that and had not had a chance to dispel those thoughts or challenge them.

Next, remember that even if your partner is thinking differently from you, that's not necessarily a criticism of you. We all think and approach things differently. Some people will say to me, "Well, I never would have done that," or, "I would have thought about that and made sure I made a plan for it." But the thing is, the other person's actions are not necessarily because they don't care, or they don't think you're worth that time. They might just think differently. Perhaps they haven't even considered that you might like that. Some people are really thoughtful and naturally come to those conclusions, and other people are not.

Here's a good example: some people will walk past a restaurant and think, "Oh, so-and-so would love that restaurant. I have to message them and tell them about it. You have to go there and eat." Somebody else might walk past it and think, "Hmm, food." We all think differently and respond to things differently. Often, it's not even personal. That's important to remember: it's not always about you. Try to take yourself out of it rather than jump to the worst conclusion. One of the things that can be really helpful is thinking, "What's the most generous interpretation of just happened?" Because if we're always scared or worried or not feeling good, we can jump to the worst conclusions, but those are rarely what's going on.
I overthink everything. How can I stop?
I think of overthinking as a faulty coping mechanism. You're trying to make things better for yourself by thinking, but it does not work. It makes everything worse. The first thing you can do is recognize, "This really isn't helpful." You have to tell the part of you that's like, "Maybe I can be in control of stuff if I think through every scenario," or, "If I'm replaying a situation and having a post-mortem, maybe it will be helpful for me next time because I can check what they really thought of me," that they are wrong. Overthinking will always make you feel worse.

So instead, you need to find a way to boost your mood. There are three ways you can do that. One is mindfulness. This is grounding yourself in the present moment, or going for a walk and feeling the soles of your feet in your shoes, listening to the sounds around you, and paying attention. The second is using the mind-body link. This is doing things like a breathing exercise, getting a massage, having a hot bath, or doing exercise, as when your body feels better, your mind feels better.

The last thing that you can try is to do something that is either neutral, like a distraction task, or something you enjoy. So do a hobby, or phone a friend, or play a puzzle on your phone. There's research that shows distraction can actually help shift your mood and mindset a lot, so anything that distracts you can be a good thing to try.

Co-authored Articles (13)

How to

Control Your Mind

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr. Jessamy Hibberd shares tips for controlling your thoughts and emotionsWhen you don’t have control of your mind, your thoughts and emotions can run amok. You might find yourself rumin...

How to Love an Overthinker

If you’re dating an overthinker, you may be wondering how you can best show them you care. While your partner may be a little indecisive sometimes, rest assured that there are plenty of ways for you to support and love...

How to Relieve Stress and Tension Every Day

A complete guide to alleviating stress fastStress. We all deal with it. Whether it arises from our jobs, family life, drama with friends, a relationship problem, or finances, stress is there. While a little stress is go...

How to

Stop Thinking Too Much

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr. Jessamy Hibberd explains how to not think so much It's a golden rule to think before you speak, but you can run into trouble when you think so much that you fail to act, or think your...

Am I Overreacting? Analyzer

Are you overreacting, or is your gut feeling right?When your emotions run high, it's hard to tell if you're overreacting. Describe what's on your mind, and our analyzer will give you an objective perspective. We'll help ...

How to Deal with Paranoia: 15 Tips to Overcome Your Anxiety

Expert-backed ideas to quit paranoia and overthinkingDo you frequently worry about what others think of you, or are you always scared that something is going to happen to you? If so, you may be dealing with paranoia. Whi...

How to

Survive Overthinking

Do you ever find yourself weighing the pros and cons of a situation for so long that you forget to ever take action? Or maybe you play out a conversation in your head so many times that you feel like you've actually talk...

How to Eradicate and Stop Negative Thoughts

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr. Jessamy Hibberd explains how to challenge negative thoughtsNegative thoughts are not reserved for just a few people or situations—everyone is plagued by negative thoughts at some poi...

How to

Control Perfectionism

The desire to excel is usually a good thing, but there's a difference between trying your best and demanding perfection of yourself. Perfectionists can be high achievers, but their efforts can also cause low self-esteem,...

How to

Overcome Low Self Esteem

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr. Jessamy Hibberd shares tips on how to repair low self-esteem If you have low self-esteem, it affects every area of your life. It detracts from your enjoyment and happiness. Overcoming...

How to

Stop Overthinking at Night

Getting a regular good night’s sleep is essential for maintaining good physical and mental health. However, many people are affected by overthinking at night and in the moment it can feel like a tough problem to overco...

How to

Take Your Mind off Things

Learning to take your mind off of things that are bothering you, stressing you out, or otherwise occupying your mind is an important life skill. Try these suggestions to clear or distract your mind and help you relax and...

How to

Overcome Decision Paralysis

Endless options! A statement filling those with decision paralysis with dread instead of sparking curiosity and excitement. If the idea of being called to make a decision conjures up feelings of intense dread, you may ha...