Pronouns: he/him
On wikiHow over 7 months!
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My Comments (2)
1.
“You’re not ‘family.’ You’re just someone I share Wi-Fi with who talks loud and listens zero.”
2.
“You called yourself my friend, but the way you switched up, I should’ve kept the receipt.”
3.
“Funny how you only come around when you need something — like loyalty's on sale and you forgot your wallet.”
4.
“I got more support from a folding chair than I ever did from you.”
5.
“You talk about being ‘real’ but been fake since birth — built like a wish.com sibling.”
6.
“If you were any more two-faced, you'd qualify as a multiplayer character skin.”
7.
“You didn’t drift away. You straight-up ghost rode the friendship into a ditch and blamed me for the crash.”
8.
“I used to call you family… now I call you a cautionary tale.”
9.
“Friends don’t stab you in the back — they stab you in the front and hand you a bandage. You didn’t even do that.”
10.
“You were supposed to be my ‘ride or die’ but bailed before the car even started.”
ANYONE:1.
“You bring nothing to the table except loud opinions and unmatched socks.”
2.
“Every time you speak, a dictionary loses a word out of shame.”
3.
“Your confidence is impressive for someone who fails basic human interaction like it’s a side quest.”
4.
“Your personality’s like a group project—unreliable, unfunny, and somehow still takes credit.”
5.
“You’ve got the emotional range of a broken vending machine — always stuck and disappointing.”
6.
“Your whole vibe feels like a loading screen that never finishes.”
7.
“Your comebacks are so weak, even your shadow distances itself from you.”
8.
“You’re the kind of person who’d trip on a wireless signal and blame the sidewalk.”
9.
“If awkward energy was a crime, you’d be on the FBI’s most wanted list.”
10.
“Your best quality is that you eventually leave.” 🫠
yo... if you dropped these in a group chat, at least 3 people are deleting Snapchat and writing in a journal by sunset 😭