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Relationship therapist Alexandra Solomon, PhD, explains the key signs that a guy is committed
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If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, you might think marriage is the next step. But does your man agree? If you’re wondering if he’ll get down on one knee and pop the big question, we’re here to help clear things up. We’ve compiled a list of over 50 major signs that he’ll marry you someday, with expert insights from dating coaches, matchmakers, and a relationship therapist. Keep reading to know if you’ll be hearing wedding bells in your future.

Common Signs a Guy Wants a Future with You

Relationship therapist Alexandra Solomon, PhD, says that if a man is willing to work together on solving problems in the relationship, that's a sign that he's committed to making it work long-term. He might also talk about future plans or shared life goals, or ask for your advice about important issues in his life.

1

He talks about your future together.

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  1. When he talks about what’s next, does he mention your name? When you’re thinking about marrying someone, you tend to talk about what’s next in a way that includes your spouse-to-be. Things like, “I think we should move to LA,” or “I want us to get a dog sometime.” He wouldn’t be talking like that if he didn’t plan to spend much, much more time with you.[1]
    • Dating coach Alessandra Conti recommends creating milestones for things you want to accomplish once you’re engaged or married.[2] This will help you both stay excited about your future together.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Alexandra Solomon, PhD, is a relationship therapist based in Highland Park, Illinois. She is internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships.

    Alessandra Conti is a celebrity matchmaker, dating coach, and co-founder of Matchmakers in the City, a personal matchmaking firm based in Los Angeles, California.

    Cher Gopman is a dating coach and the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. Her work has been featured on Inside Edition, ABC, VH1, and more.

    Sixu Chen is a life, career, and relationship coach based in Bellevue, Washington. She focuses on strengthening communication skills to build deeper, more meaningful connections.

    April Davis is a matchmaker based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is the founder and president of LUMA, a high-end executive matchmaking service designed for singles looking for a long-term committed relationship.

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2

He only has eyes for you.

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  1. Dating coach Cher Gopman says when things get serious, your partner will be focused on you rather than “looking for the next best thing.”[3] Think about the way he acts when you go out together. Is he always looking at and admiring you, or do his eyes wander? At a bar, does he chat you up the same way he did on the first date? When other women don’t interest him, you can rest assured that you’re his one and only, and that he wants to keep it that way. And what better way to do that than marriage?
3

He puts effort into the little things.

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  1. Gopman says you’ll know someone is in love with you when they care about the little things that are important to you.[4] Where romantic love is all about passion, companionate love is more about comfort and caring, and this is a must for any prospective marriage.[5] Part of that companionate love is small gestures that make your day a little brighter: bringing you flowers, making you coffee in the morning, keeping quiet when you need to concentrate. A guy who pays attention to those little details is one who’s likely in a race to the altar.
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5

He works to solve relationship problems.

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  1. Dr. Solomon says that working to solve problems together is an important part of a healthy relationship.[6] Every relationship hits a speed bump now and again. That’s just how things are. But a guy who wants to be with you forever will make sure to solve relationship problems with a level head, respectful tone, clear communication, and the aim to make your relationship even stronger.[7] That way, when he pops the big question, he knows you’ll be able to overcome anything marriage throws at you.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 501 wikiHow readers to tell us the most important sign that a relationship has long-term potential, and 55% said handling conflict in a healthy way. [Take Poll] So if you’re able to accomplish this early on, that might be a sign that you two could find lasting love.
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6

He talks about you to his friends.

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7

You share similar goals and values.

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  1. You both want the same things in life. While no couple is going to have everything in common, a good sign of a healthy relationship is having similar goals and values, including your views on children, marriage, politics, and religion. If you and your partner both value the same things, there’s a good chance the relationship could lead to marriage.[8]
    • Relationship coach Sixu Chen says a relationship will have “a nice balance of similarities and differences because difference is what keeps you intrigued… but the similarity is what creates safety.”[9]
    • Matchmaker April Davis says, “You don’t have to have all your hobbies in common because sometimes you don’t want to do your hobbies with your person. You want to have your own free time.”[10]
    • Davis adds, “If you’re able to at least communicate through things [that] don’t align, [and] you’re able to have respectful conversations and talk through things, oftentimes you’ll discover you’re very much alike after all.”[11]
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8

You’ve met his family.

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9

He’s met your family.

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  1. Make no mistake, meeting his parents is a world apart from introducing him to yours. He’s got a good feel for what his own folks will think of you, but meeting your parents will likely be more nerve-wracking, since he won’t know how they’ll react to him, or if they’ll even approve. If he’s so head over heels for you that he’s willing to put his best face on and prove to them that he’s the guy for you, this is a pretty good sign!
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10

He starts to use the word “when.”

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  1. When you first started dating, he may have said things like, “If you ever want to go to…” or “If we’re still together when…” But nowadays, that “if” has turned into “when”—“When we move in together…” or, “When we get a dog…” It’s a good sign that, in his mind, the two of you are a sure thing, and he’s counting on being together for a long time. Which, it just so happens, is also the case for married couples.
11

He’s into the idea of marriage.

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  1. Hopefully, you’ve talked about what you want from your relationship already (and if you haven’t, it’s never too early, or too late). Some guys just want to keep things casual, and that’s fine. But if he’s told you he’s looking for a serious relationship or to settle down, then marriage is most likely in his sights, and you could be the one!
    • Licensed clinical social worker Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C, recommends discussing these things early on in a serious relationship: “It’s a bad idea to be in a relationship that you hope will be long-term [but you don’t] talk about it, and then later on you find out, ‘Oh, that was just me, and he’s just playing around.’”[13] Making sure you’re on the same page can save a lot of heartbreak later on.
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12

His parents are married.

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  1. Research shows that people who come from “traditional” households (those with married parents) are more likely to see marriage positively and look for it themselves.[14] If his parents are still together, that’s a green light. But if not, that’s not necessarily a red light! Ask him how he feels about marriage, or if he’d ever want to get married, to find out for sure.
    • You might say, “I’m not trying to suggest anything, but I’m curious: what are your thoughts on marriage?”
13

Your intimacy is still intense.

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  1. While sex means different things to different people, it’s a large part of many marriages. Not only that, but passion fades for most couples 2 years into a relationship.[15] Ask yourself: has your sex life maintained its spark? Do you feel more comfortable and attracted to him than ever, and is he as wild about you as ever? If so, marriage may be in the cards.
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14

You’re always his plus-one.

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  1. He loves going places with you. Whether it’s a work function or a social event, your guy will always invite you to come with. Not only does he enjoy spending time with you, but he loves showing you off to the other people in his life.[16]
15

You take vacations together.

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  1. Sure, a vacation is all about unwinding and spending quality time together, but for some couples, long periods of quality time result in very little unwinding. If you can go on a road trip, long plane ride, or a retreat to a remote cabin with just the two of you and come out more in love than when you went in, then you’re golden, and he’ll see that, too.[17]
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16

You’re the first person he calls.

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  1. He wants to talk to you about everything. Whether he’s had a bad day at work or something really exciting happened, he’ll want to tell you before anyone else. You’ll never have to find out news from someone else because you’ll always be the first to know.
    • Gopman says he’ll also call you when you have important things going on. For example, if you have an important meeting, he’ll call once it’s over to see how it went.[18]
17

He asks you for life advice.

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  1. You wouldn’t ask just anyone for help with your career, family troubles, social circle woes, and the like, would you? Well, he wouldn’t either. If he asks for your perspective on the big things or wants your advice when he finds himself in a rut, then you know that your bond is something special, and he knows it, too. That’s a bond that screams, “Marriage!”
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18

You can be yourself around him.

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  1. You make each other feel completely at ease. Neither of you feel like you have to hide your true self. When you’re together, you can be the most embarrassing version of yourself without feeling judged by the other person. You may make fun of each other, but it’s always lighthearted because you love each other’s silly side.[19]
19

He tells you all his secrets.

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  1. Imagine, hypothetically, that you knew someone would hate your guts tomorrow. Would you tell them your deepest, darkest secret today? We’d hope not. It’s the same for your relationship. He tells you those secrets because he plans to be on your good side for a long, long time, and trusts you to keep those secrets. Maybe even till death do you part, when you take those secrets to the grave.
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20

You confide in him.

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  1. When he shares his own secrets, it’s a sign that he trusts you. But when you trust him enough to tell him your secrets, too, studies show that that actively makes him feel closer to you.[20] We’re not saying to reel him in by drip-feeding him confidential personal info. Rather, if he’s receptive, engaged, and supportive when you confide in him, then you can rest easy that he trusts you the same way you trust him, which is a good sign of a lasting relationship.
21

He speaks highly of you.

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  1. He’s proud of you and everything you’ve done. A man who wants to marry you will never try to downplay your achievements. He’ll brag about you and your accomplishments to anyone who will listen.[21] If you two have problems, you’ll work it out yourselves, and he won’t talk poorly about you behind your back.
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22

He adjusts his habits to yours.

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  1. Everyone has needs, habits, and little routines. In a loving, committed relationship, partners understand each other’s habits and learn how to accommodate those needs and habits into their own life. For example, he knows you’re exhausted after work, so he cooks dinner.[22] It’s one way of saying, “Hey, I love you, and I want to make this relationship sustainable in the long run, so I’ll work with you to make us both happy.”
23

He’s vulnerable around you.

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  1. It’s an unfortunate fact that many men have problems opening up emotionally and asking others for help.[23] So when he confides in you, gets soft around you, or even cries in front of you, don’t take that lightly. It means he trusts and feels safe enough around you to show you his tender side, which is a huge step forward in any relationship.
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24

He wants to live together.

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  1. In a recent study, 66% of people who lived together before marriage said they did so as a way to prepare for marriage.[24] When you’re married, you’ll most likely be living together anyway, so you may as well put in some practice, right? If he’s talked about sharing a roof, you may be on the road to the altar.
    • That said, many others opt to wait until after they’re married to move in, which is totally cool, too.
25

He always wants to know more about you.

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  1. The first two years of a relationship are often the most passionate, but once those first two years wear off, many relationships get stagnant.[25] But if he’s serious about settling down with you, then he knows that every day is an opportunity to learn more about you, and more about the two of you as a couple. He’ll ask you personal questions and be curious about your experiences, because he knows that the two of you are on a journey of discovery that’ll last a lifetime.
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26

He prioritizes you.

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  1. Don’t get us wrong; everyone needs a life outside their relationship. But if your guy is worth his weight in gold, then he’ll always come running when you’re stuck with a flat on the side of the road, or going through a rough patch with a friend, even if it means skipping that pickup game with his pals. He knows you’re worth it, and he wants you to know that, too.
    • The same goes for you. If you want to let a man know you want to marry him, dating coach Christina Morara says to make him a priority: “Communicate honestly and consistently so it’s clear that you are committed to him.”[26]
27

He doesn’t get jealous.

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  1. He feels confident in your relationship. It’s normal to feel jealous now and then, but when a man wants to marry you, he won’t be worried that you’ll leave him for someone else. He trusts you to have a social life and doesn’t try to control where you go or who you hang out with. He knows you only have eyes for him.
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29

He feels relaxed around you.

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  1. He loves to come home to you. While everyone gets stressed now and then, your man will feel at ease in your presence. He knows he doesn’t have to pretend to be something or someone he’s not, and he feels most content when he’s in your arms. Being with you is the perfect way to relax after a long day.
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30

He wants to be physically close to you.

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32

He asks what kind of jewelry you like.

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  1. He may even take you ring shopping. In addition to asking for your ring size, he’ll likely want to know what kind of diamonds and settings you like in engagement rings. He may ask you to show him pictures of what you like, or the two of you may look at jewelry in person. This is a good sign that he plans on proposing soon.[29]
33

He asks about wedding-related details.

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34

You’re always on his mind.

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  1. He thinks about you constantly. Even when you’re not together, your man will let you know he’s thinking about you. He’ll text or call you throughout the day, send you pictures of things that remind him of you, and buy you little snacks or gifts he knows you like. He simply can’t get enough of you![31]
35

He has married friends.

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  1. It’s no secret that our social circles influence our own beliefs and behaviors.[32] If he’s got friends who he sees living in blissful matrimony, then it follows that he may be getting some ideas, himself. After all, if it’s working for his friends and they’re happy, then he may realize a happy marriage is what he wants, too.
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36

He doesn’t laugh when others talk about marriage.

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  1. He won’t feel awkward when the topic comes up. While this isn’t always the case, a man who isn’t ready for marriage may laugh off the topic to avoid talking about it. If he’s ready, he’ll likely contribute to the conversation thoughtfully, providing his insights and opinions. This shows that it’s something he’s thought about before.[33]
38

He asks how you feel about kids.

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  1. Studies show that men who don’t want kids are more likely to avoid marriage.[34] It makes sense; having kids is often associated with getting hitched, so someone who doesn’t want kids may not be into marriage, either. So if he tells you he wants kids someday, then statistically, he may also be looking to put a ring on it.
    • Keep in mind, too, that many couples who don’t have or want kids still have happy marriages! Just make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want.
39

He wants to pool finances.

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40

He gives you his credit card.

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  1. He trusts you with his money. Even if you haven’t gotten to the point of creating a joint account, your partner may give you regular access to his money if you’re in a committed relationship. This means that he trusts you and likely plans on having you in his life for a long time. He’ll let you treat yourself and won’t bat an eye.
41

He uses the word “we.”

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  1. Pay attention to how he talks around his friends. “We’re getting into a new TV show.” “We’re thinking about taking a vacation.” “We’re not super big on hockey.” Somewhere along the line, “I” turned into “we.” It means he thinks of the two of you as a unit and feels comfortable saying so. That’s a great sign that your relationship is strong, and maybe even marriage material.
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42

He’s suddenly money-wise.

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  1. Big weddings aren’t cheap, and many people hold off on marriage until they feel they’re in a better financial position.[36] If he’s been frugal lately or pouring more money into a savings account, the reason could be that he’s saving up for a big day, and your life beyond that big day.
43

He dotes on you more than usual.

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  1. You could think of it as him trying to butter you up to say “yes,” sure. But if your love is the real deal, then you both probably know the answer long before he asks the question. Instead, we prefer to think of it like he’s so wildly in love with you and excited to spend the rest of his life with you that he gives you a few extra kisses in the morning, because he just can’t help himself.
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44

He makes marriage jokes.

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  1. His jokes may be more serious than he lets on. If he wasn’t ready to get married, he’d probably avoid talking about it, so you don’t get the wrong idea. However, if he makes a lot of jokes about wanting to get married, he may be testing the waters to see how you feel about it.[37]
45

He plans his life around yours.

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  1. When he’s planning a future with you, he’ll take your needs and concerns into consideration. For example, if he’s talking about a move, he’ll ask you where you’d want to live, or if you’d feel comfortable with that lifestyle change. If he’s looking for a job, he might pick one that lets him spend more time with you in the evenings. It’s these little logistical things that show you that he cares, and that he wants your future together to be happy and comfortable.[38]
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46

You’re his emergency contact.

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  1. He trusts you and wants you to be there for him. Think about it. If he didn’t see himself staying with you, he probably wouldn’t make you his emergency contact. This shows that he relies on you, feels safe with you, and trusts you to make decisions if he can’t.
47

He gives you access to his passwords.

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  1. He has nothing to hide. Your man probably knows that you trust him completely, but he also has nothing to hide. He has no problems giving you the passwords to his social media and financial accounts. He trusts you and knows that you won’t abuse his trust.
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48

He’s been talking to your parents.

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  1. There are plenty of unremarkable reasons he might be calling your mom and dad, but there are also plenty of very remarkable ones, too. Asking for approval is the one that comes to mind, but maybe he’s also asking about your ideal wedding, or if your folks want to pitch in on the cost. If they’ve been talking and you’re out of the loop, you might have a big, pleasant surprise coming your way.[39]
49

He’s planning a special trip or activity.

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  1. He may be paying special attention to a certain date. If he’s making a big deal about a trip or activity you two have coming up, it could mean he’s planning on proposing. He may double or triple check that you’re available or talk more than usual about the day and some of its details.[40]
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50

He’s acting mysterious.

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  1. He may act secretive if he’s planning a proposal. If your man starts acting mysterious all of a sudden, don’t panic. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s doing anything bad. If the two of you have been discussing the possibility of marriage, he may be trying to plan a proposal without you catching on.[41]
    • If you’re worried about his behavior, try asking him about it directly or talking to your friends or family to see if they’ll give you any hints.
51

He seems giddy or nervous.

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  1. He’ll likely be nervous if he’s planning to propose. Even if he feels certain you’ll say yes, your partner may seem extra nervous or excited if he’s planning a proposal. He’ll want to make sure everything is just right and that you’ll both cherish the memory forever.[42]
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52

You get a gut feeling.

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  1. We leave you with this: never underestimate your own intuition. Sometimes you meet someone and you just know that they’re your forever person; there’s no explaining or rationalizing it. It’s rare, and even if you don’t feel it, that doesn’t mean he’s not the one. But when you feel it, you feel it. Dating and relationships coach Hoda Abrahim says, “I really do think that there’s this feeling that clicks into place of like, ‘I met my person,’ and ‘I can see a future with them.’”[43]

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Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about marriage signs, check out our in-depth interview with Luis Congdon.

References

  1. https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/signs-that-he-wants-to-marry-you.html
  2. Alessandra Conti. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  3. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  4. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-chemistry/201801/how-make-relationship-last-forever
  6. Alexandra Solomon, PhD. Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview
  7. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication
  8. https://www.regain.us/advice/marriage/10-signs-he-sees-himself-marrying-you/
  9. Sixu Chen. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  1. April Davis. Matchmaker. Expert Interview
  2. April Davis. Matchmaker. Expert Interview
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201312/should-you-meet-your-partners-family
  4. Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C. Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Expert Interview
  5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200407/the-marrying-kind
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-chemistry/201801/how-make-relationship-last-forever
  7. https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/signs-that-he-wants-to-marry-you.html
  8. https://blushbanquethall.com/10-signs-he-wants-to-marry-you/
  9. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  10. https://www.regain.us/advice/marriage/10-signs-he-sees-himself-marrying-you/
  11. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0282643
  12. https://www.regain.us/advice/marriage/10-signs-he-sees-himself-marrying-you/
  13. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-chemistry/201801/how-make-relationship-last-forever
  14. https://www.apa.org/monitor/jun05/helping
  15. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/
  16. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-chemistry/201801/how-make-relationship-last-forever
  17. Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  18. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/anzf.1398
  19. https://www.theknot.com/content/signs-hes-about-to-propose
  20. https://verilymag.com/relationships/signs-he-is-going-to-propose/
  21. https://www.theknot.com/content/signs-hes-about-to-propose
  22. https://blushbanquethall.com/10-signs-he-wants-to-marry-you/
  23. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/09/power-peers
  24. https://happilycommitted.com/signs-he-wants-to-marry-you/
  25. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-true-love/200912/relationship-advice-who-are-the-marrying-kind-of-men
  26. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/joint-checking-account
  27. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/
  28. https://blushbanquethall.com/10-signs-he-wants-to-marry-you/
  29. https://herway.net/19-signs-he-wants-to-marry-you-someday-and-wants-a-future-with-you/
  30. https://verilymag.com/relationships/signs-he-is-going-to-propose/
  31. https://www.theknot.com/content/signs-hes-about-to-propose
  32. https://www.opuscouture.co.uk/post/optimistic-signs-he-s-planning-to-propose-soon
  33. https://www.theknot.com/content/signs-hes-about-to-propose
  34. Hoda Abrahim. Matchmaker and Relationship Coach. Expert Interview

About This Article

Alexandra Solomon, PhD
Reviewed by:
Relationship Therapist
This article was reviewed by Alexandra Solomon, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Raven Minyard, BA. Alexandra Solomon, PhD, is a relationship therapist based in Highland Park, Illinois. Dr. Alexandra is internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couple's therapist, speaker, author, professor, podcast host, and media personality, Dr. Alexandra is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician, educator, and a frequent contributor to academic journals and research, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular and vibrant Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is an adjunct professor in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, has reached listeners across the globe and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of Taking Sexy Back, Loving Bravely, and Love Every Day. Dr. Alexandra has a PhD in counseling psychology from Northwestern University. This article has been viewed 41,456 times.
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Co-authors: 5
Updated: December 31, 2025
Views: 41,456
Categories: Dating
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 41,456 times.

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