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Q&A for How to Get Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Kiss You First

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How do I initiate my first kiss with my boyfriend?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you have already built up some intimacy and comfort with your boyfriend, you could try cuddling to break the touch barrier and build up to that first kiss.

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Question

I've never kissed a boy, and I'm scared I will be bad at it. What should I do?

Community Answer

Having your first kiss can be scary and exciting, but don’t let that stop you. Instead, ask yourself if you are ready for that level of intimacy with someone. Do you feel comfortable, cared for, and safe with this person? If so, then you will also know that they will be accepting and nonjudgmental about a nervous, "first try" kiss. If you have a deep connection to this person and the first attempt is a dud, you will both likely laugh and try again.

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Question

My girlfriend is too shy to kiss me. What should I do?

Community Answer

If she is too shy to kiss you, then it is unlikely that she will make the first move. You can talk to her about how she feels about kissing, if she is comfortable with it, and if she’d like to kiss you. These questions will give you clear guidelines about how to proceed with her.

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Question

Is it normal for your boyfriend to not kiss you during the first month of the relationship?

Community Answer

When you begin kissing depends greatly on the personality of the people involved and the level of intimacy they share. A person who is more shy or reserved may take a lot longer to work up to kissing than someone more outgoing.

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What if they just back away, or say "What the heck?!"

Community Answer

If your boyfriend or girlfriend has this response, maybe you really startled them. If that's not the case, then perhaps they think of you as just a friend.

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My boyfriend feels a bit intimidated by my friends and we don't go to the movies much. What should I do?

Community Answer

Try to find another way to be alone with your boyfriend. Suggest going for a walk or visiting an art gallery. Once you are alone, try flirting or sending some signals.

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Question

What if your boyfriend is 8 or 9?

Community Answer

I guess that depends on how old you are. If you are 8 or 9 years old, you still have a lot of time to anticipate your first kiss.

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