Q&A for How to Act Around People Who Like You But You Don't Like Back

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  • Question
    How do you talk to a boring person?
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence.
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Try to act respectful and open throughout the conversation. Don't roll your eyes, look away, or act like you'd rather be someplace else; instead, maintain eye contact, smile, and laugh appropriately.
  • Question
    Why should you be nice to others?
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence.
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Behaving with integrity, kindness, and respect speaks volumes about how we respect ourselves and others.
  • Question
    What if the person is younger than me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    The age gap between you and another individual should not stop you from acting cordial or appropriate, so it won't matter.
  • Question
    What if I caused them to break up with another person?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    If you mean that this person broke up with their boy/girlfriend because they liked you, that's not your fault (assuming you didn't lead him/her on). There's really nothing you can do about, except be nice to everyone involved, and don't get involved in anyone's drama.
  • Question
    What if they are in the same class as me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Try to ignore them, or only respond with one word answers like "yes" or "no".
  • Question
    What if I already told them to back off, but after a while I realized that it was rude, but I know if I start talking to them again it will give them false hope?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Assuming this is just an acquaintance, or someone you don't really want/need to have in your life, just leave things as they are. You're right, if you try to apologize, etc., they might get the wrong idea. If it's someone you'd like to be friends with, you could try saying something like, "I hope I wasn't too harsh when we talked the other day. I do like you as a friend, I just don't see anything more happening between us."
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