What Does Princess Treatment Mean? (With Examples)

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Where the princess treatment vs. bare minimum challenge came from

Co-authored by Luke Smith, MFA Reviewed by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Last Updated: October 15, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Princess Treatment Meaning
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• Origin
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• Is it a problem?
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• Princess Treatment vs. Bare Minimum
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• Being a Good Romantic Partner
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• Video

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What counts as “princess treatment” in a relationship, and what counts as the bare minimum? This is the question users all over social media have been asking, and the discussion has been a little heated at times. But what even is princess treatment? Where did it come from? What’s the big deal? We’re here to explain all that and more. Plus, we talked to dating and relationship experts about how romantic partners should act toward each other.

Princess Treatment Explained

“Princess treatment” is when men go above and beyond to pamper their girlfriends. Lately, social media users have been caught up in debate about what counts as "princess treatment" vs. the bare minimum, if the trend is unfeminist and regressive, and if some people are too entitled about their relationship expectations.

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Section 1 of 5:

What is princess treatment?

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   “Princess treatment” is when boyfriends pamper their girlfriends. “Princess treatment” recently became popular on TikTok. Basically, it’s the idea that men should be treating their girlfriends like princesses, going above and beyond to make sure they’re happy, cared for, and even spoiled. Seems like common sense, right? Well, there’s a caveat, and we’ll get to that in a moment.

   • Much of the discussion online has centered on what counts as princess treatment and if princess treatment is necessary for a relationship to thrive.
   • Some examples of princess treatment are things like choosing expensive over cheap restaurants, buying her expensive gifts for no reason, and always letting her decide what you do on days off.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29.

   Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia, who specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships.

   Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP is a Communication Therapist with over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health.
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   The term is part of a trend on TikTok where women test their boyfriends. Many of the posts about “princess treatment” on TikTok and other social media platforms show users doing a sort of challenge. Women sit their men down and read a list of things boyfriends might do—from holding doors open to buying their girlfriends new cars—and the guy has to say whether the thing is the “bare minimum” of what a boyfriend should do, or if it goes above and beyond into “princess treatment.”

   • If the guy answers wrong, it usually comes with some sort of punishment, like being sprayed with a hose or getting his head dunked into ice water.
   • Wanna try your hand at the game? We’ve made our very own Princess Treatment vs. Bare Minimum Quiz. No, we won’t spray you with a hose if you get an answer wrong.
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Section 2 of 5:

Where did princess treatment come from?

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   The idea became popular after the user @joejoejoelle posted a TikTok about it. The trend was kicked off by TikTok and Instagram influencer Courtney Palmer, who, in June 2025, posted a TikTok outlining what she expects from a relationship, calling it the “princess treatment.” Palmer presents herself as a “princess housewife.” The video sparked debate online, and the princess treatment trend spread, followed by challenges and memes.

   • In the video, Palmer claims that when she goes to a restaurant, she expects her husband to open doors, talk to the hosts and waiters, and order for her, among other things.
   • The video also inspired lots of backlash, with users saying Palmer’s behavior and "trad wife" lifestyle are socially regressive, rude, or even abusive.
   • Other users pitched in to support Palmer, saying she simply has standards and knows what she deserves from a relationship.
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   Princess treatment reflects the current dating landscape. Some commenters have pointed out that princess treatment is the result of the current dating scene, for better or worse. Women are fed up with men who only do the bare minimum (or even less), and so they’re focusing more on guys who treat them like princesses. The trend is sometimes seen as a way to highlight these problems and to challenge men to put in more effort.

   • Other users agree, but say that some of the people participating in the trend are expecting far too much, and that their idea of “bare minimum” is actually princess treatment, and not realistic or healthy.
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   Princess treatment is inspired by how people idealize royalty. The idea of “princess treatment” isn’t really new, even if the term is. People have been wanting to be treated like royalty since forever, especially in relationships. Some say it’s because we’re often presented with a romanticized, idealized version of royalty—people who get whatever they want and are treated better than others because they “deserve it.”

   • And we get it, who wouldn’t want to be treated that way? It makes sense that someone in a relationship would want to be treated as well as possible.
   • The princess treatment trend could have spawned from a cultural romanticization of relationships as seen in period TV shows like Bridgerton or Downton Abbey, despite the fact that in reality, women were not as empowered in these time periods.
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Section 3 of 5:

Is princess treatment problematic?

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   “Princess treatment” has revealed some people’s sky-high standards. On a surface level, the debate about what counts as princess treatment, and whether or not people should be treated like royalty in their relationships has sparked discussion about people’s standards. Some users say that things like paying for your partner’s parking tickets is “bare minimum,” while others take issue, saying that that kind of treatment is one-sided, and means that one partner is putting in way more effort than the other.

   • Many users say this leads to unhealthy relationships, and the videos of people spraying their partners with hoses for answering the “princess treatment vs. bare minimum” questions wrong is proof of that.
   • According to Communication therapist Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP, “It really depends on the type of relationship, partner expectations, individual love languages, and the overall goals of the partnership. The ‘princess treatment’ can be a positive dynamic if one partner feels most loved when they’re prioritized, cared for, and given thoughtful attention. Especially if their love language is acts of service. In that case, this type of affection can feel incredibly affirming but should not be the only way a partner shows or receives love.”
   • Tenzer continues, “It is essential to ensure this dynamic doesn’t become one-sided. The partner providing the care and attention also deserves to feel seen, valued, and tended to.”
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   Some say “princess treatment” is regressive, not progressive. The trend has also raised some deeper concerns beyond standards. Some commentators say that it’s actually regressive and anti-feminist, explaining that the kind of things users expect as “princess treatment,” like having a man talk to waiters for you, is infantilizing. They say it reduces the woman to a trophy, a doll, or even a pet—something to be spoiled, and which can’t work or think for herself.

   • Some critics point out that, historically, women have been controlled by the very treatment social media users are glorifying—not having their own money to spend, having men speak for them, and having their autonomy taken away.
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Section 4 of 5:

Princess Treatment vs. Bare Minimum

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   What counts as princess treatment? Well, that depends on who you ask, as the social media trend has revealed. To some, things that are princess treatment are things that go way above and beyond what’s usually expected. To others, their idea of “princess treatment” seems pretty basic, which is kind of sad, honestly. To us, though, we think princess treatment is things like:

   • Surprising her with jewelry or gifts for no reason at all.
   • Paying for her parking tickets or other fees that they’d normally be responsible for.
   • Taking time to warm up her car for her in the winter.
   • Paying for a big shopping trip.
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   What counts as the bare minimum? Again, it depends on who you ask. But if you ask us, the bare minimum is whatever you’d do to show your partner that you’re equals who respect and care for each other. This often means going above and beyond, sure, but in an everyday sense, it means things like:

   • Splitting up chores and housework evenly and fairly.
   • Splitting costs fairly.
   • Showing affection.
   • Taking care of her when she's sick.
   • Remembering her birthday.
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Section 5 of 5:

Being a Good Romantic Partner

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   Work as a team, not as each other’s servants. “When you're with somebody, you need to put the effort in,” says relationship expert Joshua Pompey. Relationships are a give-and-take. You’re meant to support each other, not take advantage of each other. And you’re meant to do that because you want to and because you love your partner, not because you feel like you have to.

   • Sometimes, that might mean picking up your partner’s slack if they’re busy or sick, or doing things you weren’t asked to do, just because you know it’d help the “team.”
   • Tenzer notes, “Healthy relationships require mutual effort. It shouldn’t become a situation where one person is consistently catered to or placed on a pedestal while the other’s needs are overlooked. Find a happy medium of “princess treatment” for the other person in whatever format realistically works for the couple. Remember, there are so many other things to a relationship like positive communication, empathy, safety, and trust. You have to focus on all of those needs as well.”
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   Treat your partner as you want to be treated. While “princess treatment” might be a little problematic, that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t be nice and go above and beyond for your partner, regardless of gender. “You want to show that you're thoughtful,” Pompey says. Go ahead and pamper your partner, give them gifts, and surprise them with spontaneous adventures. It shows them that you care about them and want to make them happy. Just remember that these things are perks, not expectations.

   • Also ask yourself if your partner is treating you how you want to be treated. If you’re doing all the work at home, or don’t feel like you’re seen, heard, or understood, that’s a problem.
   • According to Tenzer, “It’s perfectly okay for the “princess treatment” to be part of your relationship as long as it’s not the default mode, a constant or the only thing you do for your partner that creates imbalance. The key is mutual understanding: both partners should feel important, loved, and supported in ways that align with their emotional needs.”
   • Tenzer continues, “Ultimately, relationships thrive when both people feel like royalty in their own right, equally respected, nurtured, and cherished.”
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   Communicate often and clearly. Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld stresses the importance of communication in every aspect of a relationship. Tell your partner your wants and needs, how you want to be treated, and what your boundaries are. In return, ask them what their wants, needs, and boundaries are. When you’re both on the same page, you don’t have to worry about doing something wrong or not knowing what to expect.

   • Communication in a relationship also helps build trust and affection. It takes the burden off your partner to have to guess what you want, and makes sure that you’re both understood, healthy, and happy together.
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