How to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You Like Crazy After a Fight

Your guide to fixing things and making him chase you

Co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: October 9, 2025 Fact Checked

Fighting with your boyfriend is the worst, and you may be feeling angry, frustrated, or sad afterwards. Making him miss you is a good way to open his eyes and get him to realize that he could actually lose you. Plus, his reaching out to you to fix things after a fight shows that he really cares about you and the relationship. In this article, we'll tell you exactly how to get your boyfriend to miss you so you two can kiss and make up after a fight, with useful insights from dating and relationship experts.

How do I make my boyfriend miss me after a fight?

Licensed psychologist Liana Georgoulis, PsyD, says to give your boyfriend space after a fight. Let him cool off, spend time distracting yourself with friends and hobbies, and prioritize self-care. Let him text you first, wait a bit to respond, but be kind when you do. Apologize for your part in the fight.

1

Give him space for a couple of days.

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Spending time apart gives him a chance to miss you. It’s hard to give someone space, and it might feel like the exact opposite of what you want to do. However, a little distance now could help you grow closer later. Stop calling and texting him for a few days, and don’t hang out with him. While you’re gone, he’ll realize how much he wants you in his life. Dr. Georgoulis encourages you to “take some space from your partner for a minimum of 30 minutes” after a bad argument. “This is how long it takes our bodies to calm back down,” she explains.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview}
- Dr. Georgoulis adds that you should wait “no longer than a couple of days before coming back together to repair the conflict,” because “the more time that passes, the less likely things will be effectively addressed and repaired.”^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
  Licensed Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}
- Space also gives you both time to calm down from the fight so you can have a healthy discussion when you talk again.
- In general, you might give him space for up to 3 days after a fight.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and clinical director of Coast Psychological Services in Lose Angeles, California. She has over 12 years of experience.

Mark Rosenfeld is a dating and relationship coach who specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015.

2

Wait for him to text you first.

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Your boyfriend may agonize over why you’re not texting him. Not only that, but waiting for him to text you first makes him work to get you back. Hopefully, he’ll realize that he really hurt you and will decide to make it better. Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld says, “The best way to make someone miss you is not necessarily to say anything. It's what you do.”^{[3]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} And in some cases, it’s what you don’t do.
- How do you get him to text you? Be active on social media and with your friends. Drop hints to mutual friends that you’re staying busy. Word will get back to him, and he’ll realize you’re pulling away.
- How long should you go without talking? It really depends on why you fought. In general, it’s normal to go quiet for 3 days to work through your hurt feelings. If you haven’t talked for a week, it might be a sign you’re rethinking the relationship.

3

Delay your responses to his texts.

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Make him sweat so he sees you aren’t just waiting around for him. You don’t need to wait forever. Just let the text sit for 15 to 30 minutes to show him you aren’t waiting by the phone. From there, match your response times to his.^{[4]
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Research source} Rosenfeld shares, “Most people who are trying to make someone miss them are kind of sitting by the phone, planning ways to make them miss them. And really, the best way to make someone miss you is to take space, respect yourself, and have your own life.”^{[5]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
- Of course, if your boyfriend responds right away, you can, too. But if he’s waiting hours to respond, copy his long delays.

4

Have fun with your friends.

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Show him you don’t need him for a good time. Invite one friend to hang out, or get the whole gang together. Not only will you have a great time, but your friends can also help you cope with your feelings after the fight. Here are some things you could do:
- Host a movie night.
- Play board games.
- Go bowling.
- Bake cookies.
- Play mini golf.
- Make some art.
- Give each other makeovers.
- Play video games online.
- Go shopping.

5

Post a photo of you having fun on social media.

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Seeing you in his feed will make him instantly think about you. Your pic will also show him you’re enjoying life instead of sitting around crying over him. Stick to one photo each day, however, so he doesn’t start thinking you’ve moved on from him. Try these pic ideas:
- Take a snap with your friends.
- Pose with your pet.
- Play an instrument.
- Pose outside.
- Take a pic at a cool place, like a coffee shop.

6

Fill your schedule so you don’t have time for him.

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Remind him that you’re in high demand. In the days after your fight, keep your schedule full so he realizes you’re a prize worth pursuing. Not only will this make him miss you, it’ll also keep you distracted while you give him space. “Rather than saying something to make him miss you, focus on going to the gym, spending time with friends, or, if you're not exclusive, going on a date with someone else,” Rosenfeld begins. “Genuinely have other priorities and bring your focus to them,” he concludes.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
- You can also work on a hobby, study, hone a skill, or take an online class.
- Break out of your routine! Try something new, whether it’s a new hobby, taking a class, or going on a weekend trip.

7

Ignore his social media posts.

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You might find it too hard to avoid his social media, which is totally understandable. At the same time, you’ll feel better if you don’t open his snaps, watch his stories, or scroll past his posts. When he sees you aren’t reacting, he’ll remember how special it makes him feel when you do.

8

Take good care of yourself.

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Being your best self shows him you’re worth chasing. Make sure you’re getting proper sleep and eating well so you look and feel amazing. Additionally, get some exercise so your skin is glowing and you feel less stressed. Dr. Georgoulis cites the pros of exercise, stating that it “has a tremendous benefit to our mood over time.”^{[7]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview} If you can, treat yourself to something special, even if it’s just an episode of your favorite show. Rosenfeld says, “By taking your focus off [your boyfriend] and having good standards in your own life, he will respect that, and he will miss you.”^{[8]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
- Give yourself a spa day at home (or at the actual spa). Put on a sheet mask, soak in a scented bath, and massage yourself with lotion.^{[9]
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  Research source}

9

Post a photo from a happy memory together.

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Nostalgia can rekindle good feelings about your relationship. At the same time, it can make him feel lonely, which will hopefully make him miss you.^{[10]
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Research source} To trigger his memories, post a photo from a happy moment you shared. You could also talk or write about how much you enjoyed an experience with him. Say:
- “Thinking about the time Leo and I watched the sunset from the dunes.”
- “Remembering nights riding down backroads in his truck.”
- “Love this picture of the snow flurries while we looked at holiday lights.”

10

Be kind when he contacts you.

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Kindness will draw him back to you. Even if you’re still mad, try not to be cold when he texts or calls after your fight.^{[11]
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Research source} Instead, give him calm, loving responses. You can still tell him how much he hurt you, but use I-statements so he doesn’t feel defensive. You could say:
- “I feel really hurt that you called me a rude name.”
- “I still feel upset about being yelled at yesterday.”
- “I’m hurt over what you said.”

11

Apologize for your part in the fight.

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You’ll both need to apologize if you want to make up. If you can, ask to talk to him in person so you can have a heart-to-heart. Tell him you feel bad about what happened and that things will be better in the future. Then, listen to how he feels about the situation. Dr. Georgoulis says, “Articulate what you regret about the experience, and if there is anything you need to apologize for, do so.” She adds, “It’s okay to admit your faults. This is how we learn and grow.”^{[12]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview} Say:
- “I’m so sorry that I yelled at you. In the future, I’ll try harder to speak to you respectfully.”
- “I’m sorry I got mad that you needed time with your friends. I felt lonely, but next time I’ll call my friends instead of asking you to cancel plans.”
- “I really apologize for storming off. I should have told you I needed space.”

Join the Discussion...

I want to make him miss me. What are your tips?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

If you really want someone to miss you, the key thing is to not send text after text, or phone call after phone call. Avoid too much contact. You have to let them miss you, and in order for them to miss you, you have to keep a bit of space. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, so keep them a little time on their own, and let them wonder what you are up to.

When you do reach out, don’t act desperate! Keep your texts or phone calls brief and to the point. It’s important to carry on maintaining your own life. While you’re with them, don’t give them too much information about yourself. You want to keep them guessing and leave a little mystery.

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Tips

While venting to your friends about the fight might help you release those feelings, speaking with a therapist or journaling might be a better option. Remember: while you may ultimately forgive your partner, your friends may not.

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If he’s ignoring you, try writing down your feelings so you can talk about them later.

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Put on that playlist packed with tunes from when you met, or songs that bring back those good memories you made. Music is a powerful trigger for memory. Bring his mind back to when he fell for you.

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