This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 205,746 times.
Falling in love with someone is one thing, but keeping them in love with you is a whole other story. As fun and wonderful as relationships are, they require work and cultivation to keep the spark alive. If you really love a man, you probably want to keep him in love with you, too. Here are some tips on how to keep his love for you strong while also remaining true to yourself.
Quick Tips to Keep a Man
Surprise him with little gifts and gestures.
Suggest new activities and experiences to try together.
Give him little touches often.
Tell him every day how much you love him.
Listen to him intently when he needs to vent or just talk.
This lets him know that he's still always on your mind. Write a love note for him and stick it in his messenger bag, backpack, or lunch before he heads to work. Get him flowers or a nice box of chocolates even if there's no special occasion. Go big and surprise him with concert tickets to see his favorite band. These surprises let him know how much you love and appreciate him. Both are super important in keeping a man head over heels in love with you.[1]XResearch source
You can also surprise him with favors or nice gestures. Clean up the apartment you share so that it's spotless when he gets home from work. Wake up early and surprise him with a home-cooked breakfast.[2]XResearch source
Keep the relationship fresh. Choose a new restaurant for your next date night. Go on a day trip to a place you both have never been before. Make new memories instead of reliving old ones. It will make your relationship feel new and exciting again, which can deepen your love and remind you both why you fell for each other.[3]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source
You can even try learning new skills together. Take a cooking class or train for an upcoming marathon together even if you've never run one before. It will enrich your life as a couple with new experiences.
Playful touch is super important in relationships!Kiss him on the cheek, hold his hand, and give him a hug goodbye before even a quick errand. If you're super tired but still want to feel close, cuddle on the couch. Keeping the physical intimacy alive between the two of you will make him feel closer to you, and remind him how much he loves you.[4]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source[5]XExpert SourceJohn Keegan Dating CoachExpert Interview
Only do what you feel comfortable with. If you're not feeling physically affectionate, show that you care in other ways. Write him a love note or pick up his favorite candy bar at the store.
Don't get too comfortable. Being in love is wonderful and fun, but it also takes work to keep those feelings alive. Schedule date nights no matter how busy you are, tell him how much you love him even when you're not in the best mood, and make your day-to-day life as a couple feel special. This helps your partner feel loved and appreciated, which will keep him wanting your affection.[6]XResearch source
Maybe you've been super busy at work lately. Call him on your 10-minute break to show that he's on your mind despite all the work stress.
Say something like, "I just wanted to say I miss you. Can't wait to see you this evening!"
Reader Poll: We asked 669 wikiHow readers which type of date night they prefer, and 51% of them said spending a cozy night in cuddling and watching a movie.[Take Poll] This can be a great way to show him you love him!
It's hard to stay in love if you feel taken for granted. Always remember to tell him how thankful you are for your relationship.[7]XExpert SourceJohn Keegan Dating CoachExpert Interview Write him a love note to stick in his lunch before work and tell him how much he means to you just for the sake of doing it. Actively express gratitude as often as you can so he feels appreciated and loved by you. It will keep his feelings strong in return.[8]XResearch source
Say something like, "You know how to make me laugh on even the worst days. I'm so grateful to have you" or "I don't know what I'd do without you. You make my life so amazing."
You could say things like "I really appreciate that you made me breakfast this morning" or "I really appreciate how hard you work."[9]XExpert SourceJohn Keegan Dating CoachExpert Interview
Don't make fun of him or make him feel bad about himself. As your relationship progresses, you may notice his flaws or quirks. Don't tease him about the things he can't help, and definitely don't belittle him or make him feel bad in front of friends and relatives. Instead, tell him why you think he's the greatest, especially when he's feeling low. Your support will mean the world to him and keep him very much in love.[10]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Business ReviewOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practicesGo to source
After a rough day at work, say something like, "I don't know what your boss is talking about. I've seen you work with customers and you're so kind and attentive to them!"
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Embracing your partner's growth is important. As people mature, their interests and priorities may evolve. Prioritize open communication to help navigate these changes. Foster a safe space for discussing evolving goals, and proactively address feelings of disconnect if once-shared goals no longer align.
Make sure that your man can count on you. If you offer to pick him up at work, follow through and be on time. Making promises you don't always keep can erode your partner's trust over time. To keep a man in love with you, show that he can depend on you.[11]XResearch source
If you ever mess up and forget to follow through, give him a genuine apology. Everyone makes mistakes in relationships. Apologizing will show him that you genuinely care about his feelings.[12]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Medical SchoolHarvard Medical School's Educational Site for the PublicGo to source
This is a great way to show him that you care. When he talks to you, make eye contact and listen attentively.[13]XExpert SourceJohn Keegan Dating CoachExpert Interview Don't text or check your phone while he's telling you about his day. Instead, focus on what he's saying and ask follow-up questions to get even closer to him Your attention will make him feel supported and loved, which increases his positive feelings towards you in return.[14]XResearch source
If he comes home and remarks that he had a bad day, ask him something like, "Do you want to talk about it?" Even if he doesn't, he'll appreciate that you care.
It's really important for him to feel heard, listened to, and understood. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything he says, but you should always listen and let him be himself.[15]XExpert SourceJohn Keegan Dating CoachExpert Interview
People need to do their own thing sometimes. To keep things feeling fresh, don't spend every waking moment together. Let him have his time to play video games after a long day at work or read comic books on a Saturday afternoon. This will allow him to keep up with his own interests and feel good about himself on his own. Plus, if you want him to stay in love, you've got to give him a chance to miss you a little![16]XResearch source
Make some time for your interests, too. While he's having his solo movie marathon, practice playing the piano or open up that book you've been meaning to read.[17]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source
Keeping up with your individual hobbies can actually strengthen your relationship.
Avoid waiting for him to notice that you're upset. When you run into conflict (which completely normal in healthy relationships) wait for a good time and tell him how you feel. Use I-statements and avoid placing blame as you discuss your point of view. Give him a chance to share his perspective and try to come up with a solution that you both feel good about. Getting through conflict together can show you both how strong your love is.
To start the conversation, say something like, "I think I need to talk about something that's been on my mind. Is this a good time?" or "Can we talk about something?"
Keep being the interesting person you were when he first fell in love. Go for that promotion at work, take on new hobbies like playing an instrument, and spend time with your friends. Avoid making your relationship your whole life. To keep your partner in love with you, you've got to keep being your (independent) self.[19]XResearch source
Make time to hang out with your friends without your partner. Couple hangouts can be a lot of fun, but it's also important to relax and spend time with just your friends sometimes.
Keeping your own interests alive helps you have more things to talk about with your partner, too. He can ask you about the songs you're learning on the guitar or the new moves you mastered in dance class.
This shows that you trust him and want him to be happy. If you struggle with jealousy, know that it's normal, but try to keep those feelings at bay. Remember how much you value hanging out with your friends on your own sometimes, and try to see things from his point of view. He'll appreciate your trust and support, and his time away will only make him appreciate his time with you more.[20]XResearch source
It can be hard not to get a little jealous when he spends time away from you. Try to keep those feelings at bay, as keeping up with outside friendships can really benefit your relationship.[21]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source
This can really help you both feel closer to each other. Talk about what you're into and try new things together. Avoid getting stuck in the same routine when it comes to sex. Instead, experiment to keep things interesting. It can help you strengthen your bond as a couple and remember the passion that brought you both together in the first place.[22]XResearch source
Never feel pressure to have sex with your partner. There's a lot of ways to feel close to your partner, and sex is only fun if both of you actively want to participate!
Esther Perel, Psychotherapist
Invest in your physical relationship. "Eroticism in the home requires active engagement and willful intent. It is an ongoing resistance to the message that marriage is serious, more work than play; and that passion is for teenagers and the immature."
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Offer him nice words of affirmation! Try to understand his love language, as it informs you of what he needs. Also, acknowledge and appreciate everything he does for you so that he feels respected and adored in the relationship.
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Everybody needs different kinds of love! Since there are different ways of communicating love — like words of affirmation, touch, and acts of service, for example —, you should know your partner's love languages to help fulfill them.
Question
How can I make my relationship strong and last long?
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
No matter how great your relationship is, fighting can kill the attraction. If you’re fighting all the time, the chemistry starts to change and if it doesn't get healed, it will build-up over time and usually turns into a breakout. So, try to do your best to listen and resolve conflicts in a productive way to help your relationship long-term.
This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 205,746 times.
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John KeeganJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
