How Long Should You Wait to Meet Someone You Met Online?

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Matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis shares how fast she suggests taking your relationship from online to offline

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis and Elaine Heredia, BA

Last Updated: December 1, 2025 Fact Checked

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• How Long to Wait
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• Before Meeting Up
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• Tips for Meeting In Person
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You've met someone online that you clicked with, but you’re not sure how long to keep chatting on the app or over text before linking up IRL. You’re in the right place! Keep reading to learn how long to wait before meeting someone you connected with online, plus what to do before you plan a date and tips on meeting up for the first time with insight from dating and relationship experts.

When to Meet Someone You Met Online

Matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis says to set up an offline date within 2-3 days of connecting online. If that feels too fast, continue chatting and see if you feel ready to meet up within 1-2 weeks. In the meantime, talk on the phone or video chat to make sure they are who they say they are and to see if you two click.

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Section 1 of 3:

How Long to Wait to Meet Your Online Match

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   Meet in person within 2-3 days. "When you're online dating," says Avgitidis, "you should be only using it as a tool to get offline." That's why she recommends meeting in person as soon as possible. It's absolutely possible (if not common) that you'll meet someone online and instantly feel a strong connection. If that’s the case, you could meet up even sooner.

   • If you and the other person meet fairly soon after connecting, you can adjust your idea of them more easily. At the same time, you know enough about them that the first time meeting them doesn't feel like meeting a complete stranger.
   • Be cautious if the other person is pressuring you to meet up immediately and you're not comfortable with that. If the feeling's mutual, you'll know, but being pressured into an early meeting is a red flag.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Maria Avgitidis is a matchmaker and dating expert with over a decade of experience. She combines four generations of matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology to help her clients find their ultimate match.

   John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker with over 15 years of professional experience. He uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love.

   Lisa Shield is a dating coach with over 17 years of experience. She specializes in helping people find and maintain strong, loving, and healthy relationships.

   Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience. She specializes in helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
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   Wait a week or two if you need more time. If you feel that you need more time to decide if you want to make a real-life connection with a person, continue chatting and getting to know them. However, if you wait much longer than a week or two, they might decide to pursue other people.

   • Dating Coach John Keegan says, "Successful relationships are built on in-person interactions. Online dating can definitely be a useful tool for connection, but it can only get you so far. Try to quickly transition an online connection into a real, in-person date!"
   • It's also okay if you decide you don't want to meet the person at all! In that case, say you're not interested rather than stringing them along.
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Section 2 of 3:

What to Do Before Meeting Them In Person

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   Have several in-depth conversations online before meeting. Dig into one topic rather than bouncing between subjects. This is one of dating coach Lisa Shield's top recommendations for first dates. "Really great conversation happens when you take one topic, and then you go deeper," she says. On the other hand, if you "skip from subject to subject," the chat can end up feeling like an interview.

   • Suppose you ask the person if they have any siblings, and they say they have two sisters. From there, you might ask them about their sisters, how old they are, what kind of relationship they had when they were kids, if they're close now, and how often they see each other.
   • Stumped on what to talk about? Try out these 50+ expert-backed conversation starters!
   

   Amy Webb, Online Dating Expert and Bestselling Author

   When meeting someone from a dating app, both safety and comfort are key. While an immediate meetup may seem exciting, taking it slowly builds trust and rapport. I'd suggest a 1-2 week chat minimum before agreeing to an in-person date.
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   Be upfront about what you're looking for. Make sure you're both on the same page before you get too involved. If you're looking for a long-term romantic relationship, let the person know as soon as possible after you start talking. Licensed clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, says, "It’s really important to state your intentions when dating, whether online or in person." If the other person is more interested in something casual, it might be better to let them move on than to meet up with them.

   • Dr. Schewitz says some people say they're only interested in something casual because they don't want to scare others off. But good relationships are founded on open and honest communication, so it's best to be open from the beginning about what you want.
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   Move your conversation off the dating site. Most people text or chat on the dating site before meeting. Exchanging numbers so you can text directly or using another messaging app might feel as though you've progressed in your relationship. Essentially, you like and trust this person at least enough to give them your phone number.

   • Typically, you'll want to have several conversations with the person before you jump to this level—but you still might've only talked to them for a couple of days.
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   Check out the person on social media. Use their social media to learn more about who they are. If the person uses their real name on the dating app or site where you met them, a quick online search should pull up their social media accounts as well. Or, you might ask them if they'd be willing to connect with you on social media.

   • It's not necessarily a red flag if the person doesn't want to connect to you on social media right away—remember, you're a stranger to them too. They're also entitled to protect their privacy.
   • If you do gain access to their social media, check out their posts and the comments and likes. Do they seem to have several friends who know them in real life and comment regularly? That typically indicates that they're a real person with a normal social life.
   • Click through their friends as well. Even if you can't see much of these people's accounts, you should be able to get a sense of the person's different social circles. For example, they might have some friends they went to school with and some others that they work with.
   • In addition to confirming that you're talking to a real person, you can also use their social media to find out a little more about their likes and dislikes, background, hobbies, and interests. All of this gives you more stuff to talk to them about.
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   Do a video call before you meet up. A video call lets you observe the person's body language and demeanor. Through a video call, you get a lot more information about someone than just what they're saying. Matchmaker and dating coach Judith Gottesman, MSW, says to think about "if the person sounds normal, if they sound nice. Do you like the sound of their voice? Do you have a similar sense of humor? Does the person make you laugh? Is the person interesting?" If the answer is "No" to any of these questions, you might not want to take it further.

   • Video calls give you a chance to see the person live and confirm that they're the same person shown in their profile pictures.
   • They also allow you to have more nuanced conversations. You can introduce more humor because the other person can see you and hear your tone of voice.
   • After a video call, you'll also have a better idea of how to read the person's texts to you. Because you know how they generally talk, you can understand more about their tone and how to take their messages. It can help you decide if you want to meet them in person or not.
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   Watch for red flags that might indicate predatory behavior. People who are demanding or controlling online might be even worse in person. Even after you start talking to someone online, remind yourself that they're still a stranger to you. As much as you might think you know them, anyone can say anything they want online. Be wary if you notice any of the following:

   • They contradict themselves or change their story several times. At best, this means they're lying to you. If they can't be honest with you before you even meet in person, what does that say for the future?
   • You can't verify much, if any, information about them. It's unlikely that someone you meet online has no digital footprint. If you can't find them anywhere else online, they could be using a false identity to try to scam you or hurt you.
   • They seem too good to be true. Someone who seems like they agree with everything you say and check every box on your "ideal significant other" checklist might be hiding something. Nobody's perfect, and while they might just be trying to impress you, they might also be trying to lure you into a relationship.
   • They start rattling off a checklist of traits they expect in a future partner. Everyone has their preferences, but a long list of demands could mean that they're controlling or will try to change you.
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Section 3 of 3:

Meeting Someone You Met Online in Person

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   Dress to impress on your first meeting. When you're meeting someone for the first time, the way you dress tells the person how much you care about the meeting. If you put some effort into your appearance, it shows that this date is important to you, and you'll make a good impression!

   • If you're a guy, Shield suggests wearing clean, well-fitting jeans and a pressed button-up shirt.
   • If you're a woman, a casual skirt or dress, or a pair of pants you love and your favorite top, are great options for a date. Choose something comfortable that you can easily move around in without worrying about a "wardrobe malfunction," especially if you have something more active planned for your first date.
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   Plan a first meeting that's relatively brief. Keeping the meeting short and sweet takes some pressure off. Generally, plan something that won't take more than an hour. More open-ended excursions can get awkward, especially if sparks don't fly as you thought they would. A short date is also safer because you have an easy out if things start to go south.

   • Make plans to see a small local art exhibit together that only takes about 20 minutes to walk through, or meet up for coffee or ice cream
   • Stick to the time limit for the first meeting to set your boundaries. If you want to continue to see the person, make plans to meet up again instead of extending your initial meeting. You'll end on a high note and look forward to seeing each other again.
   • Even a basic, rather open-ended date like meeting up for coffee can be brief if you tell the other person from the outset that you have something to do at a specific time. For example, if you meet on your lunch break, that means you have to go back to work.
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   Meet in a public place and do something fun. Go for a walk after you get ice cream or coffee. If you get moving, conversation will be more natural, and you can talk about the things you see around you. Just sitting in a café can feel unnatural and awkward, explains Shield.

   • This doesn't mean you can't go with the stand-by coffee date—but get your coffee and go for a walk around the block rather than just sitting there.
   • You might consider a more organized activity, such as mini-golf, as well. But activities like that are usually better for future dates unless it's something you do often and feel really comfortable with.
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   Plan a second date if the first goes well. Think of the first date as a test to see if there will be a second. If you decide you're interested in the person, and the feeling seems mutual, go ahead and make plans to see each other again. It's usually best to do this before the first date ends.

   • You could say, "There's a special showing of that movie we were talking about next Thursday. Do you want to go with me?"
   • If you were playing a game or doing something active, you might playfully suggest a rematch. For example, you might say, "I can't believe you beat me—must be beginner's luck. Care for a rematch on Saturday?"
   • Maintain your texting relationship between the two dates. Generally, it's a good sign if you're naturally texting each other at about the same frequency after the first date that you were before.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 790 wikiHow readers, and 53% of them agreed that they decide how long to wait between the first and second dates based on the level of connection and chemistry they feel on the first date. [Take Poll]
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Join the Discussion...

How many times should I talk to someone online before meeting them?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

I'd suggest that you have at least 5 conversations online before meeting up with someone. The exception might be if you meet on Tinder or Bumble and there's a crazy immediate connection where the two of you share some mutual interest, but in general, you want to chat a few times before meeting up.

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