What do you do with a crush on your best friend?
I have this friend, and we've been friends for 3 years. We're best friends, and we're both girls. I'm a lesbian, and she accepted me when I told her, but she's straight. Once, some of our other friends in the friend group shipped us. She told them to stop, and so did I, but I did it so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. They do it as a joke sometimes. She says she's straight, and i believe her, but I'm pretty sure I saw her taking an "Am I Queer" quiz on here. I don't want to ask about it because she might feel cornered, and we don't talk that much right now because it's summer and we're out of school. Advice?
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It's always a challenge to have a crush on a friend who is (in theory) straight when you are not, especially if you are not quite sure where they stand. So many people have been through that experience. It's challenging because you have choices to make (you always have agency), but their choices might not always result in the best outcomes.
You could spare the friendship and keep this to yourself because you don't know whether the person, first of all, is queer, and second of all, if the person would want to be more than friends with you. Maybe they're content with the friendship, and you could risk ruining the friendship and or having an awkward hurdle to go over. It's possible the hurdle would not be insurmountable, but it would likely be an awkward moment.
You could share your feelings because you don't want to bottle up your feelings and keep them to yourself. For what it's worth, I would typically never advocate for bottling things up. You could share your feelings, but I think it's important to be aware of the risks.
I would recommend talking to other people around you, such as other trusted friends, and going through the possibilities with them. Weigh the pros and cons of bottling up your feelings or putting them out there. Once you've gone through those possibilities, I'd see which one feels most authentic to you and go from there.
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You could spare the friendship and keep this to yourself because you don't know whether the person, first of all, is queer, and second of all, if the person would want to be more than friends with you. Maybe they're content with the friendship, and you could risk ruining the friendship and or having an awkward hurdle to go over. It's possible the hurdle would not be insurmountable, but it would likely be an awkward moment.
You could share your feelings because you don't want to bottle up your feelings and keep them to yourself. For what it's worth, I would typically never advocate for bottling things up. You could share your feelings, but I think it's important to be aware of the risks.
I would recommend talking to other people around you, such as other trusted friends, and going through the possibilities with them. Weigh the pros and cons of bottling up your feelings or putting them out there. Once you've gone through those possibilities, I'd see which one feels most authentic to you and go from there.
I think it’s very common to have feelings for your best friend whether you prefer women or not. I think it’s a phase all of us go through, but since you are a lesbian, it would make sense that your best friend would be someone you would want qualities in your partner. If you’re not quite comfortable asking, I would wait a little bit and see if anything happens. You obviously don’t want to come off too strong, but you also don’t want to wait too long to find out. You’ve got this. !
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I really like this girl there's just something about her that feels easy, genuine, and impossible to ignore. But she likes my friend but he's gay. I have no clue on what I should do. I mean I told her he's gay but she doesn't care and my friend is really annoyed by how she likes him so much...
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call her on FaceTime or Whatsapp or meet her and talk just something where you can see her face and start a normal conversation. Then, at the right time, say someone started a rumor saying you like me, is it true? Pay attention to the way she acts. Is she fidgeting, looking away, blushing? If she says it is true then I guess you'll figure it out from there.
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It's okay to have feelings for your best friend but try to respect her boundaries, It's okay if you have to spend a little less time from your best friend to try to acknowledge your feelings. I'm not that great with tips so I'm sorry if this isn't a good tip, but have a nice day/night!!
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