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Trying to fix it with my ex

WikiNarwhalCaster800
WikiNarwhalCaster800
09/16/25 7:34pm
My ex-girlfriend broke things off about 8 months ago. She gave me some reasons that really didn't make much sense to me very generalized. I think she thought I was seeing someone else. I WAS NOT. For the first few months I made things only worse by texting her and telling her my feelings for her. Our relationship was about 1 year and it was good we really had no problems until then. It's now been about 30 days no contact and I want to slowly try to build her attraction back with me. Any advice is appreciated
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wikiHow Expert
Sixu Chen
Sixu Chen
Life, Career, and Relationship Coach
10/17/25 11:22pm
To me, there are obviously some issues that bother the ex that are enough for her to want to leave the relationship. I think step number one is to have clarity on exactly what the issues are and to really make her feel heard. It might not be about you seeing someone else at all.

If she voices concerns, and you say, "that doesn't make sense," that is a dismissive response. Nobody will want to give you any second chances if that's your attitude. But if you say, "hey, I care about you so much, I know something bothers you. Can you please help me understand what exactly bothers you that made you want to leave the relationship?" Then maybe the other person will be open to share.

You do have to be ready for them to respond that they don't want to share. You cannot be selfish and only think, I want this relationship back, I want this relationship back. Then you're coming from a place of need, you're coming from a place of a lack. Relationships are doomed when one person starts from a place of lack.

So it's important to respect the other person, understand the other person, and to see if this is even a good idea for both of you. If it's just for you and she doesn't benefit, it's not the right fit.
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