Tips on how to play hard to get

12/15/25 6:23pm

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This post was sourced from submitted reader questions and posted by wikiHow Editorial Staff, based on our article: How to Play Hard to Get.

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Dev Murphy
wikiHow Staff

12/15/25 6:25pm

Playing hard to get involves maintaining some distance between you and another person in order to seem more mysterious and less available, which may help you figure out how serious the other person is about being with you. It's also a great way to foster your independence! Here's how to play hard to get:

Spend time with friends and family. For many people, it's easy to lose themselves in a new relationship or get hung up on waiting for their crush to text, to the point where they may abandon their other relationships. Make an effort to spend time with your friends and family on a regular basis and strengthen those bonds.
Exercise. Try to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. It'll not only help you play hard to get; it'll also keep you in good physical shape and boost your mood!
Get enough sleep each night. Getting good sleep will help you make wiser decisions in your love life. It'll also help you feel happier and more energetic and look more radiant!
Take a break from your phone. This one can be tough, but try to spend time with your phone off or in another room. Playing hard to get means not texting or calling them all the time, and not waiting by the phone for them to hit you up. Instead, spend time doing screen-free hobbies, like art, reading, or playing an instrument.
Wait for them to come to you. Whether you're still just friends or you're actively dating, playing hard to get means letting them be the one to pursue you. Let them reach out first, kiss you first, and say "I love you" first.

For more in-depth advice, check out our article, "How to Play Hard to Get"!

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Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

12/15/25 6:33pm

I would add that I don’t like the idea of playing hard to get, but I do like the idea of being hard to get. The healthy way to think about playing hard to get is overriding your impulse to give away your heart too soon, because a lot of people throw all caution out the window when they meet someone who seems dazzling or exciting; it’s almost like an impulse buy.

So, I’m not an advocate of playing games, but I do advise a person to be sincerely cautious about giving themselves away, whether it's committing sexually, or becoming exclusive by default, or just starting to tolerate inattentiveness from a man or a woman.

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