I want to actually talk to my gym crush
Just a regular guy who goes to the gym here, and I've been crushing on someone who I always see when I'm working out. I know gym crushes are normal, but is it bad if I actually want to go up and talk to them? I'm not sure about the etiquette here and I don't want to sound like a creep, so how can I tell if it's a good idea to say something to them? Has anyone else gone through this and have some helpful advice?
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For a complete guide to this topic, read the wikiHow article How to Talk to Your Gym Crush, Plus Signs They're Crushing on You.
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So, I think that's an area that you need to be pretty careful with because you don't want to make things really awkward. So, I would approach that really delicately at first.
Really pay attention to what she likes. If her favorite gym activity is yoga, try to do a yoga class with her. Also, be chivalrous from the get-go by opening doors and doing nice things for her.
Give her space and kind of learn what she's comfortable with when you're interested in her because you don't want to smother her or come on too strong. Ask her questions, and learn more about her. Listen to what she has to say and don't just talk about yourself.
If she doesn't know that you even like her and you've had a couple of conversations already, try putting yourself out there and telling her “You know what, I'm interested. Would you like to go out on a date?” If she tells you she's not interested, then it's probably best to accept it and move on.
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Really pay attention to what she likes. If her favorite gym activity is yoga, try to do a yoga class with her. Also, be chivalrous from the get-go by opening doors and doing nice things for her.
Give her space and kind of learn what she's comfortable with when you're interested in her because you don't want to smother her or come on too strong. Ask her questions, and learn more about her. Listen to what she has to say and don't just talk about yourself.
If she doesn't know that you even like her and you've had a couple of conversations already, try putting yourself out there and telling her “You know what, I'm interested. Would you like to go out on a date?” If she tells you she's not interested, then it's probably best to accept it and move on.
If you're interested in asking someone out at the gym, first, I'd say to look for signals that this will be welcome. You want to move at a slow roll, right, because you don't want to find yourself in a sticky situation at your gym. For example, if someone has headphones in and is not looking at you, that's probably not someone to approach. Then, keep it simple; I would ask a simple question about the class. You could also try a flirty high five at the end. "We made it!", "You were looking good!", that kind of thing, right? I would also encourage you to maybe hold off if you're seeing someone that you think is attractive for the first time at a place you go regularly. Instead, maybe wait until you've started seeing them there on a regular basis. Studies actually show that they're going to find you more attractive after repeated encounters!
You could also always collect a group to go do something outside of the gym that's related to health or wellness. For example, "Have you heard about the Tough Mudder coming up? I'm getting a group together from the gym to do it, and we'll train together". This way, you can bring that person into an outside environment where you can get to know them better. Once you're in that environment, you can say something like "It's been really fun getting to know you. I'd love to take you on a date. Would you be open to that?"
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You could also always collect a group to go do something outside of the gym that's related to health or wellness. For example, "Have you heard about the Tough Mudder coming up? I'm getting a group together from the gym to do it, and we'll train together". This way, you can bring that person into an outside environment where you can get to know them better. Once you're in that environment, you can say something like "It's been really fun getting to know you. I'd love to take you on a date. Would you be open to that?"
When you approach her, I'd steer clear of making any comments about her body. It's a mistake people make because they're at a gym and it feels natural to compliment someone on their muscles or their physique, but that can make women uncomfortable. Also, make sure not to interrupt her when she's focused or in the middle of a set. Try to approach her near the end of her workout so it's easy for her to leave if she's not interested. Good luck!
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Oops, I was going to tell her that she has great arms, because I thought that was a body part that wasn't creepy to comment on, but I'll play it safe and not do that.
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To avoid being creepy, start with small interactions first instead of just going right up to her and asking her out. Try out a smile first and see if she continues to reciprocate over the course of a few days. Then you can bump things up to nod or a wave and see how she responds. If she clearly ignores you, this is a sign that she's not interested and you can stop trying to interact with her. But if she responds in kind, then you can try striking up a conversation with her.
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