I really like this girl but I'm afraid that I messed things up
There was this girl last semester who I worked with at a service desk for co-op, and she was so gorgeous, and I would talk to her every day about stuff like how her day was, once I even got her a redbull cuz they had a 2 for 1. She used to smile every time I talked to her, and if I asked her something, like once I asked why she came late and she told me a whole story about what happened, and I loved that so much I almost died. But anyway one day I decided to ask for her snap, she was looking at her phone when I asked and she nodded, but then she got busy with customers and it hit 3 PM so I just left. Then after the weekend, I waited till she wasn't busy, then asked again, this time she was looking right at me the whole time, she said yes, and when I turned around to grab my phone she kinda rolled her eyes and that for some reason made me walk away to my side of the desk and stay there the rest of the day. She got busy again, it hit 3 PM and I went home. I left her alone for the rest of the semester after this, I even avoided eye contact.
Anyway after this she started working at the other desk, perpendicular to where I was, I don't know if that was cuz of me, but I remember a few months before I heard my manager tell her that he's gonna teach her how things work at the other desk. And at one point she did spend like 3 days away getting trained on that stuff, and when she came back she was at the service desk with me for about an hour and then she'd switch over to the other. So idk if she started avoiding me or what but I felt really bad so one day I wrote a note saying "Sorry about tuesday". It also felt like she talked to me less, however I would usually initiate a conversation, and I also didn't say a single word to her the rest of the semester out of fear so I don't know if that's why. I made her smile a few times after, and sometimes if she saw me stuck on something she'd come help me, idk how to describe it right. Maybe I'm just grasping at straws to cope, I keep overthinking about what happened.
Now I'm back working at the same place, just in the auto shop this time, the other day I was on the floor taking off lug nuts, and I look up and I see a silhouette, and I couldn't tell if it was her, but she was looking in my direction and smiling. I didn't know she still worked here, but it turns out she comes in at 3, and I'm there till 5.
She was on my mind all day the entire summer, I couldn't sleep right for 2 months because all I thought about was how I messed up so badly. Did she think I was so unappealing that she just started to avoid me? Or did she get moved by our manager? Did I mes up by walking away to get my phone and then just not coming back? She's so gorgeous, my heart stops every time I see her, but I don't know if I should still try to talk to her, or get her number, and stuff like that. What should I do?
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It seems like you're overrelying on the idea of this romantic relationship. If you want to attract her, you need to be an attractive and balanced person. That starts with being able to separate yourself from her attention. Based on this story, if you did go into a relationship with her, it sounds like it would have a codependent dynamic with anxiety and instability. You need more people in your life who can help you meet your need for connection, social interaction, and community. You don't want an overreliance on your partner.
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Not everyone is interested and I know that feels hard sometimes. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t overthink it, don’t go out of your way. Just be yourself. Let her come to you if she’s interested, but don’t spend too much time trying to figure out if she is. You’ve got this!
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Just be yourself lil bro, she wants honesty. Otherwise she ain't gon lit you hit
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