How Does Secret Santa Work? How to Play & Choose the Right Gift

Secret Santa is a fun game in which you anonymously buy a gift for a friend, family member, or coworker. The classic game is pretty straightforward, but these days, many people also play online. We talked to a party planner, arts and crafts specialist, and executive communication expert to help us explain how to play both versions of the game, as well as other fun gift exchange games. Keep reading to have a blast at your next holiday party!

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Rules for Secret Santa

Party planner Ivy Summer explains the rules for Secret Santa:

Have each participant draw a name out of a hat—that’s who you’ll buy a gift for.
Set a price limit for gifts, usually around $20.
Give participants about a week to buy the gifts.
Have a gift exchange where you reveal who each person’s Secret Santa was.

Section 1 of 5:

How to Play Classic Secret Santa

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1
Write the names of everyone participating on a piece of paper. If the group is larger and people do not know each other that well, have everyone write down some distinguishing features or interests, such as “male astronomy buff, 65” or “female triathlete, 34.” In more intimate group environments, only the name of the person is necessary.^{[1]
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- If you want, have everyone write down a gift suggestion or two, as well.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Ivy Summer is a certified wedding planner and the owner of Voulez Events. She has over 10 years of experience planning and coordinating weddings and events.

Amy Guerrero is an arts and crafts specialist and the owner of Sunshine Craft Co. in Phoenix, AZ. She has over 15 years of design experience and also hosts in-person and online workshops.

Brenden Kumarasamy is an executive communication and public speaking coach, as well as the founder of MasterTalk, a coaching business designed to help professionals master the art of communication.
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Have everyone draw a name out of a hat. According to Summer, it’s traditional to pull names from a hat.^{[2]
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Expert Interview} Fold each slip of paper so that the name isn’t visible and place them in a hat, cup, or other container. Mix them up, then have everyone draw a single slip of paper.^{[3]
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- “The name that you pull out of the hat is the person for whom you’ll buy a gift,” says Summer.^{[4]
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- Summer says that if you pull your own name, “put it back in the hat and draw again.”^{[5]
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- Don’t tell anyone whose name you selected. It’s supposed to be a secret Santa, after all!
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Set a price limit. Decide on a budget as a group or have the event organizer decide. Having a price limit keeps things fair, so everyone gets something of a similar value. Select a budget that you know everyone in the group can afford. This helps prevent people from either being too cheap or spending too much on an extravagant gift.^{[6]
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- “Typically, participants agree that the maximum price for a gift for Secret Santa is around $20,” advises Summer.^{[7]
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- It’s better to be safe than sorry and choose a lower price range than to choose something too high that some people don’t have the money for.
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Set a gift-giving date. If you already have a holiday party planned, this is a great opportunity to exchange gifts. Otherwise, check with the members of the group and select a date and time at which everyone can meet to exchange their gifts. Try to choose a date that works for everyone.^{[8]
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- Summer recommends giving participants “at least a week or so to buy their Secret Santa gifts.”^{[9]
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Purchase a gift. Choose a gift with your person in mind. Try to make it personal, and avoid choosing a generic gift like a coffee mug or a bag of candy—unless that’s what they asked for! Keep the price limit in mind, as you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable by choosing a gift that’s too cheap or expensive.^{[10]
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- Not sure what to get? Jump down to our How to Choose the Right Gift section for some tips!
- Remember to wrap your gift, as well. Arts and crafts specialist Amy Guerrero says, “Finishing off a wrapped present with extra ribbon, a tag, or a fun decor element will ensure a beautiful result.”^{[11]
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Exchange gifts. Keep your gift recipient a secret until it’s time to exchange gifts. At that point, find the person whose name you drew and reveal yourself! Don’t forget that you’ll be receiving a gift, as well, so remain gracious and polite as you accept your present (even if you don’t really like what you got).^{[12]
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- Summer says that some groups like to come up with “a creative way for the gift recipient to discover their gift,” while others “plan a get-together with snacks and drinks [and have] a gift exchange—the final reveal of who was each person’s Secret Santa.”^{[13]
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- In some versions, the organizer hands the gifts to the recipients, then everyone has to guess who their Secret Santa was after unwrapping them. The Secret Santa then reveals themselves.
- When expressing gratitude, executive communication expert Brenden Kumarasamy says, “Instead of just going, ‘Hey, thanks for the gift, man, I really appreciate it,’ [go] a little deeper [and say], ‘Wow, this really means a lot to me because of X.’”^{[14]
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Section 2 of 5:

How to Play Secret Santa Online

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Set up an online gift exchange. If you want to play Secret Santa with long-distance friends, relatives, or coworkers, there are plenty of websites, like Elfster, that allow you to do so! Choose one of these sites, then email an invitation to everyone who wants to participate.^{[15]
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- You can also set this up without the help of a website if you’re super organized!
- “Online Secret Santas have become more popular and convenient than ever before, especially in the post-pandemic era,” says Summer.^{[16]
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Use a Secret Santa generator to draw names. Input everyone’s name (and wishlist, if applicable) into a Secret Santa generator. Summer recommends using a free Secret Santa generator like SneakySanta.com or MyRegistry.com, which “virtually mimic the act of drawing a name out of a hat.”^{[17]
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Expert Interview} These tools will then send out a name to each participant and keep track of a master list of paired participants for the host.^{[18]
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- “Some of these [generators] also offer free anonymous messaging for designated participants,” says Summer, adding that this is especially if someone wants to “get a gift that’s tailored to the person whose name they selected.” For instance, they might “confirm what size pajamas their recipient wears,” she says.^{[19]
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- Encourage participants to create a wishlist on Amazon, Etsy, or another online retailer so their Secret Santa has an idea of what to get them. If you all know each other well, though, this might not be necessary.
- Participants should also include a shipping address they’re comfortable sharing with the group so they can receive their gift.
- Summer adds, “This kind of engagement keeps Secret Santa exciting from the very start to the grand reveal!”^{[20]
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Purchase and ship your gifts. Once you know whose name you drew, find the perfect gift for them based on their interests and the price limit. If you’re buying online, have the gift shipped directly to their address. Otherwise, make sure to get to the post office in time for the gift to arrive by your exchange date!^{[21]
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- Keep in mind that the holiday season is busy, so don’t wait till the last minute or your gift might not arrive in time.
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Set up a video chat party to exchange gifts. Once everyone has received their gifts, make sure they don’t open them until the reveal. Set up a video chat and take turns opening your gifts and revealing your Secret Santa identities.^{[22]
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- If you want to take turns guessing who everyone’s Secret Santa is, make sure no one writes their name on the gift they sent. Otherwise, feel free to include a card to be delivered with the gifts.

Section 3 of 5:

How to Choose the Right Gift

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Gag gifts are fun sometimes, but in general, make sure your gift won’t be perceived as inappropriate for a group setting. If you’re playing with friends and everyone agrees inappropriate gifts would be funny, that’s okay, but if you’re playing with coworkers, keep things work-friendly.
If you’re not quite sure what to get your person, play it safe and choose something practical and useful. That way, even if it isn’t something that they might have wanted, they will still have a use for it. Consider holiday ornaments, kitchen necessities, or a good book in a genre they’re interested in.^{[23]
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Get something specific. If you can, do a bit of research on your gift recipient to choose a gift that’s truly tailored to them. Ask around, look at their work or social media profiles, or discreetly ask them questions about their interests. They’ll appreciate the time and effort you put into choosing a gift that is special and geared towards them.^{[24]
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- If you can, Summer suggests asking the family or friends of the person you’re buying for.^{[25]
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“When you’re shopping for Secret Santa, shop in a section of a store where your favorite things are sold,” says Summer. “If you come across something that you absolutely love that also happens to be useful—and you’re even tempted to buy it for yourself—then you’ve found a fantastic gift for Secret Santa!”^{[26]
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If you’re the creative type, a homemade gift done in good taste will seem personal and meaningful. Consider your recipient’s interests and tailor your craft to them. For example, you might knit them a scarf in their favorite color or paint a portrait of their pet!

Section 4 of 5:

What is Secret Santa?

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Secret Santa is a game in which participants anonymously buy each other gifts. Secret Santa is often played at holiday parties with family, friends, or coworkers. Each participant draws someone’s name out of a hat and secretly buys them a gift. At the exchange, players often try to guess who their Secret Santa is before the reveal.^{[27]
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- The idea of Secret Santa may be traced back to a Scandinavian tradition called Juklapp, or “knocking Christmas.” People would knock on someone’s door, throw a present inside when it opens, then run away.
- Some also associate Secret Santa with German legends about St. Nick’s helpers, who gave presents to good kids but not bad kids.

Section 5 of 5:

Other Gift Exchange Games

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My Favorite Things Summer explains, “In a My Favorite Things gift exchange, you choose one item that you love—something cozy, funny, delicious, or [that] just makes life better. Spend no more than $10 per item, and bring three of the same thing.” At the party, “each ‘set’ of items will get a number. Everyone will draw three numbers from a bowl—and go home with three new favorite things from three different people!”^{[28]
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- Summer suggests bringing items like candles, bags of chocolate, or face masks.^{[29]
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White Elephant Christmas To play White Elephant Christmas, each participant buys a gag gift within a set price range. Wrap the gift, but leave it unlabeled. Everyone will then draw a number and take turns unwrapping a gift in order. Those with higher numbers have the option to steal an unwrapped gift from another participant or select from the remaining wrapped gifts. If a person has their gift stolen, they select another one from the remaining options.^{[30]
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- White Elephant Christmas is also sometimes known as Dirty Christmas or Dirty Santa.
- Yankee Swap works the same way as White Elephant Christmas, but the gifts are usually more useful or practical in nature.
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Rock Paper Switch Rock Paper Switch is similar to White Elephant Christmas, but in order to steal a gift from someone, you have to beat them in Rock Paper Scissors! If the challenger wins, they get to steal the gift. If the other person wins, they get to keep their gift. If it’s a tie, both players switch their gift with the person on their right.^{[31]
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Left/Right Game In this game, everyone will bring a wrapped gift and sit in a circle. The host will then read a story that prominently features the words “left” and “right.” Each time one of those words is spoken, the group will pass their gifts in that direction. Once the story is completed, each person will unwrap the gift that they’re holding.^{[32]
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- There are lots of Left/Right stories available online, but feel free to make up your own!

Gift Ideas and Secret Santa Variations

Ideas for Work Secret Santa Gifts

Secret Santa Gifts for Friends

Fun Secret Santa Variations

Community Q&A

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What are some homemade gifts you can make?

Community Answer

If you can sew, you could make a pillow or a blanket. You could learn to make homemade salt scrubs if your Secret Santa is female. If you can knit or crochet, your Secret Santa might like a scarf, hat, or sweater in their favorite sports team's colors.

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Should I tell my Secret Santa what I want?

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You can, but you shouldn't know who your Secret Santa is.

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What if I don't know what they like?

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Have a conversation with them and drop subtle hints. Don't outright ask, "What do you want for Christmas?" Ask questions such as, "What are your hobbies?" to get something relevant to that. Ask them about their favorite movies/games/books/etc.

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If you aren't close with the person that you are buying for, just give them something that is useful. You can't go wrong with a helpful gift!

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Make sure every participant’s name is in the bowl or hat before drawing names.

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Keep a lookout when you are browsing a thrift store; you may be able to spot an appropriate Secret Santa gift there at a fraction of the price.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If the price limit is low, supplement your gift with homemade treats, a heartfelt card, or another personal touch. Thoughtfulness matters more than cost.
Make a document with each person's name and get each person to write gift ideas or what they like. This may help if you don't know what to get someone.
Consider a theme for the gifts, such as baking supplies or cozy accessories. This makes shopping easier and ensures the gifts will be coordinated.
Set a backup date in case someone can't make the original gift exchange. Scheduling conflicts happen, so build in flexibility.
When revealing the gift givers, have each person explain why they chose that particular gift. It's fun to learn the backstory.

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